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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my dh is quite capable of not swearing in front of our dd?

28 replies

carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:14

i am sickof this

shes 3.5 and 3 times today hes said fucking in front of dd.

he holds doen a professional job were he manages to not sware at people, so if he can manage to not sware at work or in front of his parents he can manage around dd

whats he swaring about?
this am doing the food shopping

just now about deal or no deal, which went on to an agurement about luck v destiny

other than leave i have no idea how to get him to stop.

im sick of him doing this round dd.

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 03/01/2011 17:19

YOur daughter will eventually be around others that swear, the trick is to teach her it is only for adults.

I swear and always have and always in front of my kids, Im not proud of it, but they have never said a swear word in front of me and my kids are now 22 and 17.

mutznutz · 03/01/2011 17:21

I think it's pure ignorance if someone cant stop themselves from swearing. If they choose to swear that's a different matter but to be unable or unwilling to contain it around a small child is crass to be honest.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/01/2011 17:24

Fabby that's a lot of nonsense...that is the attitude which results in reception kids calling ech other wankers and saying Fuck ff to each other.

OPYANBU..my DH did it too...I freaked out so many times he's stopped.

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:30

we are about to have a massive row

as soon as dd is in bed

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 03/01/2011 17:34

Wimple my kids are 22 and 17 and I have never heard them swear, ever.

I never swore on purpose but I would from time to time by accident. Shutting fingers in door shit, dropping dinner fuck it.

Please don't tell me when I have unbelievably great kids I don't know what I am talking about because I speak from experience.

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:35

hes just been to the gym, for good 2 hours including getting there and back.

while dh has had his free time at the gym ive had dd, i packaged up a large house what ive sold on ebay to raise funds for us to have a holiday, ive arranged the parcle force delivery and collection, tried to offer dd a half decent tea which she wouldnt eat as she only wanted a sandwhich again
was sorting out my new bank details on paypal, withdrawing paypal funds and paying ebay fees etc when the row kicked off, so i said right ive already told you today im sick of your swearing soim going upstairs to sort these bank details out and having some free time

to which dh goes to dd quick lets put a cartoon on

as if thats i'll ive done while that xxxx was at the gym.

im so mad

OP posts:
SyriaSplack · 03/01/2011 17:36

I think it can depend on the attitude of the swearer, and the context.

I agree that a child who is brought up hearing its parents telling each other to fuck off (or, worse, having it aimed at them) and calling each other/other people wankers is more likely to use such language.

But a child hearing "Oh for fucks sake" when - ahem - "someone" drops, say, a tray of Yorkshire puddings on the floor (just as a random example) isn't, I don't think, necessarily going to start repeating it.

I think kids are, on the whole, able to distinguish between words adults use and that they're just not to repeat, and "normal" language.

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:37

yes this isn't saying shit when you've dropped something

its swearing in arguements/disagreements

i am so angry with him and sick of this

OP posts:
Meglet · 03/01/2011 17:38

yanbu. I swear like joan rivers when I'm not with the dc's, although mainly when I'm driving on my own or doing housework BlushWhen I'm with the children I click into Mary Poppins mode and only say 'fiddlesticks' or 'ratbags'.

I know they'll pick it up at school but I would rather that than my dc's be the ones swearing first to amuse their friends.

FWIW my parents never swore and I still haven't heard them swear as adults. There's a time and a place for swearing, around children is not one of them.

Oldsilver · 03/01/2011 17:38

DS gets worse when with his family, apparently they can't help it Hmm - MIL told me that Nurseries turn a blind eye to the odd bloody and bleeding, I took great pleasure in telling her that I was called in because DS had said these words and they were unacceptable and I explained exactly where they come from. DS has now been told to hit them on the hand when he hears them say a naughty word (not by me I must add) - he is now slapping them away merrily Grin

compo · 03/01/2011 17:38

Sounds like you're ready for dh to go back to work tomorrow
it's just post holiday rattiness
my dh is in a foul mood because he doesn't want to go back to work tomorrow
it's Sunday night blues just on a Monday instead

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:40

dds about to go to bed in 10 mins this is going to be fun..

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:41

compo this isnt just holiday swearing his always doing it.

always round me and dd

never at work or in front of his family...

OP posts:
Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 17:57

ding ding round 4.....

OP posts:
earwicga · 03/01/2011 18:00

Instead, why don't you start swearing? A lot. Every fucking other fucking word. Just for the next hour.

WimpleOfTheBallet · 03/01/2011 18:02

FABBY YOU never heard them swear...I am sure they are great as you say...but swearing children sound dreadful..

storminabuttercup · 03/01/2011 18:04

is it worth a huge row?

tell him what hes done to annoy you, tell him why you dont like it, tell him that you'd prefer he didnt...

I cant imagine waiting until DC had gone to bed just so we could argue. (i'd have forgotten by then)

Agree with fabby though, my parents both swore (never at each other) and i was never a child who swore that was for grown ups to do!

minimathsmouse · 03/01/2011 18:13

I'm with Fabby on this. I have sworn in front of my children, never at them or to them. I don't call people names or swear because I'm too lazy to find other adjectives, but occassionally I have said shit if I've dropped something. My children understand adults have the right to, they don't.

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 18:56

had a row

both calmed down now

he says he can't help it, but will try to stop

and thay he doesnt swear around his parents because hes not relaxed/himself around them.

OP posts:
naughtyandnice · 03/01/2011 19:06

my DH works with a load of fellers and they all swear at every other word and yes i hate it when he comes home and does the same at home. I mentioned it a few years ago and he did well at stopping himself doing it esp round the kids. unfortunately it's starting to creap back in again. i wouldn't have a row about it - FFS he is a grown up and he should be able to discuss it rather than be told off like a naught child though.

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 19:13

oh please don't ffs me

ive had enough of that already

dh does not have that as an excuse hes an accountant in public finance so can't really go round swearing at work

OP posts:
theevildead2 · 03/01/2011 19:17

YANBU if he can hold off at work he can do it at home.

theevildead2 · 03/01/2011 19:19

PS was it wind in the end?

Original poster
carriedaxmaspudding · 03/01/2011 19:20

lol yes it was Grin

OP posts:
theevildead2 · 03/01/2011 19:23

ha ha save it for Dh next time he swears :)