to think that food from the majority of UK Chinese takeaways is vile?

[GetOrfMoiLand]

I just think that half the time it's not worth spending the money and I would be just as happy with cheese on toast.

Do chinese takeaways have one basic standard menu which most of them adhere to?

I went to my aunt's house in Chigwell last night, we had achinese takeaway. The same crappy old boring list of food like I have ordered from any other chinese in any other town in which I have lived.

Kung Po chicken in glutinous, sticky sauce.

What kind of napalm juice do they put in the sweet and sour sauce?

Dessicated and tasteless crispy duck.

Mongolia chicken made of chickens from the original mongol hordes, it seems,

Hot and sour soup made of pva glue.

I have eaten lovely chinese food in chinese restarurants, but takeaways are never worth it I don't think.

YANBU. Chinese food mass-produced for the UK all-you-can-eat cum takeaway market is usually vile. Get a Chinese lodger or flatmate instead.

Oh no Breastmilk - I don't want authentic food, yuck!

I want thoroughly Anglicised food. Chicken breast instead of feet, that kind of thing!

Oh god, nearly all Chinese t/a is vile. Only get them every now and then under duress (from teen). I've seen lots and lots of Chinese restuarant kitchens and it's nearly all from jars and tins as well.

Asda pizzas look horrible

Thought breastmilk was full of MSG?

The ones where they put stuff on the bases for you? No, they're great. No horrid green peppers for a start.

Well, when I say great, I mean "at least as nice as Domino's and a quarter of the price".

Not great as in "nicer than having steak instead".

Well I love PE pizzas (when fresh in PE) and they get derided on here so what do I know?

I like pizza express pizzas as well.

I agree with Trill - I have never bought Asda pizzas biut I would rather spend £5 on a pizza from sainsburys or wherever than spend twice that one something vile from Dominos.

Pizza Express pizzas are nice.

We really need to distinguish between Italian-style pizzas (eaten in the UK with a knife and fork, sat at a table, Pizza Express for example) and American-style pizzas (slices in hands in front of TV, Dominos for example).

Good examples of both exist, but they are quite different beasts.

YANBU, other than the independent more 'resturanty' type places they serve poison. I don't eat it anymore.

So bad, but so good. Imo.

But then I have been to one of those 'only Chinese in the village, chips or egg fried rice' places and it was vile. Processed chicken in balls of batter - eugh.

Otherwise I love my junk food. Mmmm ....

Fish and chip shops annoy me. I'd love it if they offered grilled fish and at least one alternative to chips and fritters.

I'm no health freak,but I much prefer grilled fish to battered and fried,and wish more chip shops offered that option.

I wish we had a takeaway here that offered such delights as a variety of grilled fish,sticky rice or salad in addition to chips,like the takeaway a friend in Melbourne frequents.

at deep fried pork balls with orange sauce.

And what animals do the spare ribs come from?

We have one in the next town over which is DELICIOUS. The nicest duck pancakes I've ever eaten. It is pretty expensive though.

Evidently no one told the Chinese people I saw in China Buffet King,that they won't eat the food.

I have a friend I went to boarding school with called Cai (CH-EYE). In my GAP year I went to China for a year with him, and ate the most amazing food EVER. Whatever it is they serve in UK, it isn't Chinese.

I've eaten Chinese food in the UK maybe twice for large parties since returning 5 years ago. I try and avoid it at all costs.

Cai won't even eat Chinese food here-and the two times he has he yabbers in Mandarin to the waiter and gets something that isn't on the menu for the likes of us and change for a fiver.

Oh GOD re fish and chips.

There are no chippies here. None. Not proper ones anyway with malt vinegar strong enough to melt the enamel off your teeth.

Mind you a good fish and chip shop is a rare beast - I grew up in a seaside fishing town and all the chippies wheer I lived bought the fish frozen from wholesalers as opposed to off the fishing boats 100 yards away. Madness. There were only a couple of decent fish and chip shops in the place.

Letthere - a decent fried fish should be pretty healthy - the hot fat seals the batter and the fish just steams within the batter casing and should not be at all greasy. Just take the batter off (and give it to me )

My Chinese relatives definitely eat in UK Chinese restaurants. Often.

I could take the batter off, but that's half the fish gone,and I'd love to be offered grilled salmon or calamari.

ApocalypseCheese I have reason to be in Ulverston in late April.... i shall visit this legendary chinese of yours.

I think the secret with cheap Chinese (or Indian for that matter) is always to go veggie. My cheap&cheerful local takeaway does deeply iffy meat dishes, but their Thai Green Tofu curry with egg fried rice is extremely tasty, and their vegetable Chinese curry and chips is a fabulous guilty pleasure.

I have a chinese colleague who eats regularly with her husband in the local Angel Chef all you can eat buffet (where they give you melamine plates, fuck that)