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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think electric guitars aren't acceptable at any time of day in a house with shared walls

116 replies

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 16:04

One of our next door neighbours (semi) seems to have recently acquired an electric guitar & amp.

It's loud enough in our house that we cannot say watch a dvd whilst they're playing. I've been round a couple of times and to be fair they've always immediately turned it off/right down. But would I be unreasonable to tell them it's not acceptable to us at any time to play it that loudly and I shouldn't have to go round each time to tell them this?

OP posts:

onadietcokebreak · 02/01/2011 19:10

I was in a very similar situation. They moved out a few months ago. Thank god. Maybe they are your new neighbours!

Nip it in the bud now. Invite them to listen to what you can hear. If it persists do tell your landlord.

WilfShelf · 02/01/2011 19:13

All these people who say 'there's no neeeeeeeeeeed to be loud, babies have to be...' will - I predict - be eating their words when they have teenagers.

Look. The only sane response to noise issues is, as the sane posters have said, a bit of give and take. Perhaps you could say, we don't mind you having a 'loud hour' every day, so long as you don't mind our kids doing the same. What time shall we make that?'

And probably, you have little idea how loud you are: families with kids are, on the whole.

taintedsnow · 02/01/2011 19:14

I think YABU tbh, but it's mainly because of how restrictive you think you can be. If it's as bad as you say it is, I think the reasonable thing to do would be to ask them to agree to have it at that level for no longer than a certain length of time, and not outside certain hours.

Btw, how long do they have it on for now before you complain?

Is it waking children?

laydeestardust · 02/01/2011 19:18

You'd also probably hate being next door to us (electric and accoustic guitars, piano, drums, clarinet etc etc)

We think we're considerate-luckily our neighbours agree

Fundamentally, it's all about give and take.

For example, I tolerate my neighbours' eccentric parking habits, yappy dogs,searchlight security lighting, bbqs every sunny summer weekend, usually just as I've put washing out, one set of neighbours smoking outside their house so close to our kitchen that the smoke drifts in, lawnmowers at dawn etc etc.

They tolerate our overall loudness and my occasional habit of reversing into their cars (how they laughed... both times )

Clearly op if you can't hear your own dvds that's way too loud.

Original poster

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 19:23

It has woken us all once at night about midnight, we didn't complain that time, mainly because it involved getting up dressed etc. lasted for about 30 minutes.

I've been round once when we've got back from being at my parents for Christmas when it was so loud we couldn't talk to each other. I went straight away tbh, should I put up with not being able to have a conversation in my own house for longer than that?

Today it was about half an hour. As I've said earlier, I've no problem with hearing their playing (despite it being crap), my problem is with it being loud enough that we can't get on with daily life, watching DVDs, phonecalls etc.

We're not actually in a lot of the time, the house is empty 8 - 5 school days, until 7pm 3 nights and we're not normally in during the day at the weekend. My kids spend the vast majority of their time in the house asleep :-)

OP posts:

ZZZenAgain · 02/01/2011 19:24

is it daily then or you don't know because you are out during the day and they are not?

twopeople · 02/01/2011 19:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

WilfShelf · 02/01/2011 19:32

Because people do have the right to enjoy themselves, in whatever ways they like, in their own homes, even if other people don't share the enthusiasm, in ways that are legal.

And for short periods of time, this includes in ways that do intrude upon others. People do it ALL the time. I don't like my neighbours firing fireworks at every celebration, leaving dead ones littered all over my garden, or parking their car so it is more awkward for me to get out. But I wouldn't dream of complaining about it because I am just as sure they are as pissed off about having to pick my boys' footballs out of their hedges and listen to them arguing outside all weekend.

Is ALL neighbour noise unacceptable? Of course not. It's about a reasonable amount of freedom, exercised responsibly. If they're not being responsible and sensible about it (ie doing ALL the time, late at night, not responding to reasonable requests for limits) then that's a different matter.

Original poster

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 19:40

It could be daily, I don't know, even over the holidays we have been out for part of the day most days.

I'll see how it goes, it's not something I want to broach right now, I'm pretty sure it's the teenage son who is the guitar player and as the dad has just told him to 'fuck off you're not wanted' I'm not sure this is the best moment.

OP posts:

nomoreheels · 02/01/2011 20:39

I really don't feel that houses should be for loud, amplified instruments. It's just not fair - most noises made by day to day living are not that loud so I don't think you can compare.

When I was 19 & in a band we rented a rehearsal room in a grotty old building for next to nothing. It was brilliant, you could make as much noise as you wanted to.

My neighbour's lad has a drum kit in a tiny terraced house, it drives me mad especially as he plays about as well as Animal from the Muppets...

mumeeee · 02/01/2011 21:06

YABU. You can't ask your neighbour not to play thier guitar at all.

JaneS · 02/01/2011 21:12

Wow.

Do you live next door to my ex-housemate?

He used to play his guitar on amp between 6am and midnight. He was also, incidentally, crap.

It is horrible. You can complain of breach of peace if it is loud and audible, regularly, before 7am on weekdays and 9am weekends.

expatinscotland · 02/01/2011 21:19

'All these people who say 'there's no neeeeeeeeeeed to be loud, babies have to be...' will - I predict - be eating their words when they have teenagers.'

We live next door to a maisonette with 4 teens in the family.

Other than the occassional arguments, we don't hear a thing.

And the walls are paper thin with no insulation.

Family before that had 2 teen boys. Again, no problems.

I agree with TheLittleRacoon.

MainlyMaynie · 02/01/2011 21:57

YANBU. Of course there has to be give and take with noise, but amplified music that drowns out your own conversation crosses the line of reasonable.

I used to live in a flat with basically no sound insulation where the downstairs neighbour had drums. Totally f'ing unreasonable. Since living there, I have become much more sensitive to neighbour noise, especially music, because their relentless noise from drum kit, loud music, barking dog really stressed me out. Unreasonable noise at home is really stressful and I didn't used to be sensitive to it at all!

I know my tolerance levels are now low, so I would never complain when our neighbours have an occasional party or do DIY. But if they got out a guitar and amp like your neighbours, yes I would complain.

classydiva · 02/01/2011 22:03

Buy them a set of headphones! No reason why they cannot play them then 24.7 and they listen to the noise as opposed to you.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 02/01/2011 22:07

So are we saying that only those who have detached houses, or can afford to rent rehearsal spaces can be allowed to learn the electric guitar?

I mean, I know rock and roll tends to be middle class kids pretending to be working class, but I don't think we need to institutionalise it.

expatinscotland · 02/01/2011 22:16

'So are we saying that only those who have detached houses, or can afford to rent rehearsal spaces can be allowed to learn the electric guitar?'

There are headphones these days. Very good ones. Even wireless ones.

Or learning without an amp so your neighbours can hear themselves speak in their own home.

If someone has a right to 'peaceful enjoyment' surely that includes being able to hear one another.

Timeforanap · 02/01/2011 22:16

My downstairs neighbours' teenager played v loud music during the day when my first baby was asleep...I took the baby monitor downstairs so he could see/hear how loud it was in our flat and he was v embarassed and never played his music that loudly when we were in again. We'd still hear a bit of thumping bass fairly often, but at ignorable levels.

Original poster

tyler80 · 02/01/2011 22:18

In my day (god i sound old ) people practiced in somebody's garage or similar.

OP posts:

bellavita · 02/01/2011 22:22

I love it when DS1 plays his guitar for us using his rather large amp! We paid a lot of money for it as we do his lessons so I want him to play it as much as possible. We are detached though, but even so at a reasonable hour if we were not detached, I would still like him to play.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 02/01/2011 22:37

Loud music is qualitivly different to quiet music. Headphones are not the same. Yes, there needs to be give and take, and it shouldn't be loud enough to prevent you going about normal life when you are in, but the suggestion that you should NEVER be allowed to make noise that entertains you just in case it irritates someone else is unreasonable.

expatinscotland · 02/01/2011 22:46

Headphones are not the same?

I'm really glad I no longer live to so many inconsiderate, thoughtless people and that because the flat below us is council accommodation for the homeless, meaning that's their last chance and if they can't refrain from blasting music, they're out and the council no longer has any legal obligation to house them, put up with noise like this anymore.

Because there's never once been a time when I was subjected to someone else's loud music that I thought, 'Aw, they're just qualitatively entertaining themselves.'

BitOfFun · 02/01/2011 22:51

The key is in the word 'amplifier', I think. I'm sure that if screaming babies were plugged in to one, your neighbours would complain. There is just no need to play guitar that loud in a domestic setting- it doesn't affect the capacity to actually learn the instrument. If the guitarist wants to crank the volume up for a rehearsal or performance, then he needs to find another space to do it.

TheCoalitionNeedsYou · 02/01/2011 22:56

No headphones aren't the same. An amp is going to have different tonal qualities, will behave differently when it's louder, and part of the thrill of loud music is, well, the volume. Over a certain level it stimulates the production of endorphins.

Someone who only ever plays their guitar through headphones or without an amp is going to end up losing interest in loud rock music if they never get a chance to actually play it.

That doesn't mean they should be able to do it at times or volumes that prevent you going about your every day life - it does mean you should tolerate some level of intrusion - as we all intrude on each other every day.

Some people play loud music, some people have cats, some people burn smelly candles.

The only way not to deal with other people is to not live near them.

bellavita · 02/01/2011 23:00

I agree TCNY.

DS1's guitar playing just does not sound right without an amp.

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