Aibu to think my dh is being a twat?

[notremotelyintofootie]

Ok... It's new years eve, we have a dd who is 13 months old and we have no babysitters here... I also have ds (11)...

We both have full time work and neither is standard 9-5, mine involves interviewing people as and when available and I have 3 to do tomorrow lunchtime onwards... Dh was on shift this morning but has tomorrow off and has been to the pub after work getting home around half six... Dd went down at 7 and I ordered in pizza, ds is watching tv on his room... Dh had wine before his pizza but is clearly pee'd off that he isn't going out. One of his mates called, asking if hd was going out and he said a couple of times 'no I can't'... Since then he has been moaning that it's do boring at home, that he might ad well go to bed etc,..

He then asked if I was going to wake dd at midnight, I said no as it could take ages to get her back down and that I thought it wasn't the usual thong to wake babies for new year...

He has stropped off upstairs saying I am so boring and that if he told people what I had just said that they wouldn't believe it... And that he can't get pissed as he has to watch the kids in the morning (from 11:30!) and that if he told people that he had to do that they wouldn't believe it either!

I've said to him we could play something On the wii, or a board game, or watch a movie... He says no, but doesn't suggest anything else!

Am I being boring? Aibu to need him to look after dd tomorrow for a couple of hours as it's new years day? Or is he being a twat?

It seems he wants out of the relationship and is cornering you to make the break for him. Sounds like you might be better off...

And no, you're not boring nor is your family life. If he can't appreciate that, then he doesn't deserve having you.

Sorry, I don't see why he couldn't go out? It's not like he had to look after the kids from the crack of dawn, I think YABU, sorry
(though it's too late now, obv)

and I've read teh rest of the thread..

erm., he's a git of the highest order, is he 15? No? then kick his arse into next week and TELL him that he will look after his own child.

Tonight was a random, perhaps he should have gone out, but it's done now.

I deal with things like this by NOT DOING STUFF!!! MAKE him take charge of the kids, make him clean/take responsibility for the house

How could the OP have 'let' her DH go out? If she had done that, he would have been too drunk/hung over today to look after an 11yo and a 13 month old baby. When the OP had to do something sensible like go to work.

How old is this 'man'? 13? My DP does occasionally wish he could go out more, especially as all his friends are 5-10 years younger than him, and have no responsibilities (we have 3 dc and one on the way). But he would never act like such an arse if he couldn't go out!

He says really horrible things to you, that must really affect your confidence!

Really he sounds like a big child and not husband material at all. Also it sounds like he has a drink problem. Do you really want to be with him?

To the one or two posters who have said, "Oh, just let him go out. Why not?" That is just a making a rod for her own back. He's manipulating her into being the bad guy, "not letting" him go out with his mates when, actually, he has adult responsibilities. And they should be resposibilities they share, not that he can opt out of when he fancies.

Twat with shit for brains.

He sounds adorable. Seriously, why exactly are you with him?

He sounds like a total loser. Why the hell did you have a baby with him?

He sounds like he wishes he was still single and child-free - in his mind he isn't a parent.

What a wanker.

Thanks for the comments everyone, the new year is a time for me to take stock and work out what I will accept, what I expect and check myself for unacceptable behaviour too... I went to work and it took about an hour and a bit longer than expected which dh wasn't happy about but I've sent him out now so that he gets sone time out and I get a moan free zone for a few hours!

He does have some stress at the moment with family illness butvhd needs to realise he cannot take that out on me, I've asked one of his sensible mates to have a chat with him about that so perhaps that will help... He semi-apilogised this morning but I told him it was unacceptable to call me names and act like a twat so we will see how that goes... I think I might write to our doctor as I am worried about his drinking and his propensity towards depression but he won't see the doctor unless he has to and even them he don't tell him everything so at least if I tell him he'd have the full story...