To think you can't have as much fun without alcohol?

[AgentZigzagGotAGoodGoosing]

I don't mean drinking alcohol all the time, or getting ratarsed/falling down drunk.

And I don't mean in every situation, obviously I have great times without drinking.

But I think it's good for you to let your hair down every once in a while, perhaps with other people who are also drinking, it relaxes your tongue and great hilarity can ensue.

I know a couple of people who don't like the lack of control alcohol brings with it, not for religious/medical/negative experiences with alcohol reasons, and IMO this anal clenching control is evident in other areas of their lives and I think they miss out.

Wanksock if you can't enjoy time with people without alcohol I'd suggest that those people are drinking buddies not friends.

Wanksock, I don't have the sort of friends that enjoy that kind of night out I suppose. More a meal out or round each other's houses. They do drink though and sometimes get vair drunk. Ridiculously drunk. But we have in common that we're there for each other's company and the alcohol is part of that but not the thing that knits us together.

And yes, people have spiked my drink occasionally. Adults. Supposedly mature adults.

I was told it was to make me more like a normal person . It is creepy zigzag and potentially dangerous. For all the person knows the non-drinker could have a medical reason for being a non-drinker.

I have never told someone on a night out that they can't drink alcohol because I believe as adults it would be their choice what they drink. I think it is reasonable in return to expect them not to tell me I have to drink alcohol as I am entitled to choices as they are.

Nah they are good friends, been friends with most since primary school, speak most days etc. just on nights out we all like booze, so when I was sober with them and they
were drunk I just didn't feel on the same page.

I am absolutely shocked that anyone would think it funny or even thinkable to spike someone's drink That is horribly irresponsible

Wanksock

I find myself shaking my head at your statement about people who drink and people who don't being unable to mix

I disagree

If anything it is people who drink who have a problem with the people who don't

DH is much more fun when drunk (very, very rare occurrence). He just gets a great sense of humour, something that is inhibited when he's sober.

I have had great times both sober and drunk, so I wouldn't need alcohol to make a night but if it's available and the children are taken care of, then sure, why not?

I think there's a problem that drinking is the default setting.

You can't not drink. You have to have a reason.

How many 'oh god I'm pregnant and nobody knows yet, what excuse can I use?' threads do we see on here? Because if you go out you should drink and if you don't it's because you're hiding a pregnancy. It's v embedded in our culture now isn't it? What is this watching other people not drinking and asking questions/implying things about? Tis v odd.

It's embedded in our culture because in days of yore, when the water was lethal, alcohol was what people drank, even and especially children.

It must have taken the edge off their harsh existance into the bargain.

It's the expectation though. That you should.

Aside from spiking peoples soft drinks, I think people who 'pressure' others who are sober are honestly just trying to be inclusive, although I can understand it might not feel like that.

Expectation ? Really ? News to me.
Those 'how do I hide it' threads really get on my nerves aswell.
I drink a glass of wine all the time. I also drink lemonade all the time. There is a harvester/beefeater place down the rood, where we sit outside in the summer and the kids play on their huge playground. Sometimes dh has a pint and i have a wine. sometimes I have a lemonade.

where is this so called expectation ? No one i know has it. I went on a Year 2 mums drinks night out last week. Half drank, half didn't . No one made a commnnet, no one explained or justified anything, to anyone.

250 people at my works christmas do. 3/4 drinking. 1/4 not. Fun had by all. No one commented or anyone else drinking or not drinking.

Theres encouraging and then theres pressuring insistance and even pisstaking.
I'm not teetotal but rarely feel like I want to drink an alcoholic drink.

Really Oblomov because that's not been my experience in plenty of different areas (jobs/friends/extended family)

Even had people buy me a vodka and coke when I've asked for a coke because I need to lighten up.

Makes no difference at all. Depends on the person (in vino veritas and all that). I am sparkling company without a drop of alcohol, I assure you

Pisstaking norfolk? Or messing about banter, even if it's alcohol fueled?

If you're feeling a bit sensitive about it, it'd be easy to read they're being shitty with you.

I don't understand the how do I hide it ones either. I don't notice what people drink. But I've been roundly shot down on those threads for suggesting they just don't say anything, certainly don't giggle about antibiotics. People on those threads insist that if a woman they knew didn't drink without good reason, they'd assume pregnancy.

I don't know where these pockets of people are but they must be out there.

Just read some posts on the most recent page - a friend of mine told me she was pregnant after we bumped into one another unexpectedly in a bar, and said 'I thought you'd have suspected because I was drinking coke'. I hadn't paid any attention at all to what she was drinking - there is definitely an expectation that you need an 'excuse' not to drink when out. I would only notice something like this if the person was effectively an alcoholic and suddenly one night was drinking coke, and even then I wouldn't be rude enough to mention it!

Oh yes, asking for an orange juice and they get you a vodka and orange juice to lighten you up a bit. Been there. Again not good friends but acquaintances and friends of friends. V weird behaviour. Would you do it if you disliked somebody's food choices?

SOBER PEOPLE ARE SO SANE

dullsville

ps. i am on the godka - a cocktail of my own maiking

Dh is teetotal. He is far from boring and does not need alcohol to become uninhibited :-) He enjoys going out for meals and to the pub but if everyone is getting rat arsed he does find it a bit annoying - let's face it drunk people are bloody annoying! So generally he doesn't do the pub nights out with my friends who are bigger drinkers than his mates. People just don't seem to trust non drinkers and can't understand why anyone would be teetotal. Dh says he has lost count of the amount of times people have assumed he is a recovering alcoholic because he doesn't drink.

To be honest I don't drink much - only when I go out and am starting to go off that too as the hangovers are getting worse with age.

'but if everyone is getting rat arsed he does find it a bit annoying - let's face it drunk people are bloody annoying!'

Which is where the idea that sober people in a room full of drunkards are a po-faced lot and judgemental of others choices to get shitfaced.

I'm just imagining him sat there not being able to keep that annoyance totally under wraps, which I'm sure isn't the case

They're seen as being responsible, when everyone else is enjoying not being totally responsible for themeselves or their actions.

Just playing devils advocate, sober people are choosing not to join in, which could be taken as either the people who are drinking aren't worth joining in with (saying those who are drunk are dull/boring/no personality), or they're sitting on their high horses saying they're better than drinkers because they don't need a drink to have a good time.

I didn't start drinking till I was 20, and stopped again when I was about 23. Had more fun before and after drinking, and luckily, most of the people I've known haven't cared less if I'm drinking a soft drink, an alcoholic drink or a hot chocolate.

But then you get the exceptions, they normally say things like "aren't sober people boring/dull/anal" and are deathly boring due to their insistence on alcohol needing to be present. Because with people like that you can be joining in as much as they are (possibly minus the falling on the floor that seems to happen with people like this) but you are still seen as boring. Because they are too focussed on what is or isn't in your glass to actually be paying attention to the social situation. They are such joys to be around..

So agentzigzag, even if someone is joining in with the conversation, joining in with the fun, they are still refusing to join in because their drink isn't alcoholic?