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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My inlaws don't seem to care about my baby's health.

70 replies

HardyPerineum · 28/12/2010 17:21

So, my son has had a cold which started on Christmas Eve and basically made his first Christmas unsettled, snotty and unpleasant. Not fun, but unavoidable. He's just starting to get over it.

My inlaws have now decided to come and visit, and I find out today (after letting him play with and handle the baby extensively) that one of them has brought another cold with him.

If he knew he had a cold, did he have to come? I personally wouldn't go and visit a family member with a small baby if I knew I was ill with an infectious disease.

AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
HardyPerineum · 28/12/2010 17:45

SugarMousePink (why thankyou) and yes - a rare and special lace embellishment for all the family! Snail trails on all sleeves and tshirts no extra cost.

OP posts:
HappyHECmanay · 28/12/2010 17:45

And I've just got your name, thanks to sugar's post.

Bloody fab!

TheFeministParent · 28/12/2010 17:45

Well OP I agree with you, why would anyone inflict a cold on a baby that will result on sleepless nights, windy feeds and feeling unpleasant?

KaraStarbuckThrace · 28/12/2010 17:46

YABU to suggest they don't are about your baby's health.
Babies catch up to 20 colds in their first year so difficult to avoid!

Hope baby is better soon - try putting some books under the top end of the cot to help him breathe easier at night. I also found a humidifier with a few drops of baby olbus helped with my DS when he is snotty.

SugarMousePink · 28/12/2010 17:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
HardyPerineum · 28/12/2010 17:47

Sugar - ewwwwWWWW!!!! Aren't babies cute? Aren't they adorable? Don't they smell gorgeously of...well, erm, baby, of course...

OP posts:
Original poster
HardyPerineum · 28/12/2010 17:48

and Kara thankyou for the idea - he is just starting to master sleeping on his side, which helps, but the poor lil guy does so love to suck his thumb and that comfort has been taken away when he can't breathe.

OP posts:
peppapighastakenovermylife · 28/12/2010 17:51

Man flu Grin

You need to start now by the way - not too much attention or comfort when he has a cold or he will turn into one of those men Wink Grin

SugarMousePink · 28/12/2010 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsKLo · 28/12/2010 18:42

They should have said on the Phone and asked you - some people think you are being precious, maybe, maybe not - but this is your child and you have every right to feel as you do so they should have asked you

NormalityBites · 28/12/2010 18:46

It's not a given that all kids have permanent snotty noses. My DD had her first cold aged 1 year and has only had one since - she is now 4.8. And yes she went to baby groups/nursery, and now school. We didn't avoid anyone with colds.

YABU but I understand the desire to avoid snot and am trying to give you hope Smile

LittleMissHootsMon · 28/12/2010 18:49

Wait till he starts Reception... Grin

Bubonic snot for the last 2m, literally every child and parent I know has a hacking cough.

Up to 165 kids a DAY were off school at our school towards the end of term.

Gastrobugs too

DS himself didn't make it in to school the last day before break up for christmas.

They are EXHAUSTED, only now has DS got some colour in his cheeks and is no longer unusually quiet and subdued!

ragged · 28/12/2010 18:57

LittleMissHoots forgot about chickenpox, which almost inevitably sweeps thru Reception each fall, too.

LittleMissHootsMon · 28/12/2010 19:05

LOL, that was Nursery school for us... DS got it, I had all the symptoms without the spots.

Hand Foot and Mouth went round there too, but we didn't get that... [phew]

Oh and that was the time of the Swine Flu thing too....

Kids are blooming evil!

PeachyPossum · 28/12/2010 19:11

Oh heavens, don't forget Worms. I still remember my shock, why doesn't anyone tell you before you get pregnant.

tbh, I would have been more than miffed too, a warning at least would be polite.

GotArt · 28/12/2010 19:19

YANBU... I understand that kids get sick, but my DD keeps getting sick because others just won't keep their kids or themselves away when they are infectious. Xmas eve, someone invited their DD over to another friends house we stopped in at so they could 'play' together. I told him DD was getting over a cold and was most likely still infectious and it wasn't a good idea to exposed their DD to her. He said not to worry because his DD has strep throat. WTF! I don't want DD's cold turning for the worse you ass! It keeps us up all night. She is whiny all day. Isn't eating very well. Its all very draining. I'm tired of parents bringing their kids to playdates when their DC's having a fever but think that it is a good idea to get them out of the house. Open a window, but stay home. You're not doing your kids any favours, just burning them out so they can't get better.

scottishmummy · 28/12/2010 19:20

common cold is not biggie unless immunosuppressed.builds up immunity and cannot isolate him form everyone with cold.so yabu isnt as if they are purposefully trying to get him

activate · 28/12/2010 19:23

yes you are but you'll get over

activate · 28/12/2010 19:26

stuff you can try to blame other people and their kids for but really it's just life include:

colds
cough
sore throat
eye infections
ear infections
verruccas
moluscum
worms
nits
chicken pox
viral infection
talking back
being rude
raising their eyebrows at you and thinking you're an idiot
getting girlfriends / boyfriends

I could go on Grin

MistyB · 28/12/2010 19:44

To help with the blocked nose, saline solution available over the counter can be used to squirt up your sons nose. It sort of melts the goo and allows them to sleep a little, also try a few drops of lavender in his room. I can understand how you feel annoyed about yet another cold. Chin up and hope it gets better soon.

GotArt · 28/12/2010 22:13

No, you can't isolate them from everyone with a cold, however, it is irresponsible to exacerbate illness' in your child and exposing them to others by bringing your child, for example, to a playdate that has just developed a fever. You shouldn't bring your child to gymnastics when they've been up puking all night. You shouldn't take your child to the pool when they've had diarrhea all morning, hence shitting in the pool and ruining it for everyone cause the pool needs to be closed down the rest of the day to be filtered.

FabbyChic · 28/12/2010 22:29

I think you are overreacting.

Cold's do not kill children.

Don't be such a fuss pot.

Icoulddoitbetter · 28/12/2010 22:40

YANBU. I agree that it's a bit OTT to call a cold an infectious disease, but it's still horrid and they should have given you the option to postpone. In my house we seem to have a situation where DS will get a cold, then I'll get it but ten times worse. A few months ago this happened and I was knocked out for two weeks, at one point it was so bad DS had to go and stay at granny's!

I agree that children need to be exposed, we're well into the eating dirt stage and I now accept that DS licks shoes. But I won't purposely expose him to illnesses. It happens in enough situations that you can't avoid so why add to that?

Lonnie · 28/12/2010 22:43

YABU its a cold nothing massively serious . I hardly think it constitutes a " they dont care about their grandchild" in fact they came to see him held him showing they care a great deal..

MadamDeathstare · 28/12/2010 23:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.