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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

202 women killed by partners or ex partners

92 replies

GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 14:42

That was in one year. It suprised me the figure so high. Thats 2 womenkilled every week by someone close to them....I can understand why womans hour went bananas

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ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 28/12/2010 14:44

erm, 2 women a week would be 104 a year.

FabbyChic · 28/12/2010 14:46

People who are murdered are generally murdered by those closest to them.

Remember that women commit domestic violence too.

LittleYellowTeapot · 28/12/2010 14:51
Sad That's a shocking and sad statistic. I wonder how it compares to the number of men killed by partners and ex partners.
HappyHECmanay · 28/12/2010 14:51

YANBU,it's a dreadful number and something needs to be done.

I really think the system still feels that women are the property of men and that killing them is somehow ok. I know the courts etc often make the right noises, (well, except when they excuse a man killing his partner / ex on the grounds that she somehow provoked him by not wanting him any more Hmm ) but it seems like lip service.

Until this society stops being misogynistic and women are not seen as the property of their men, then women will continue to be abused and killed for such crimes as wanting out of a relationship, wanting to be treated with respect, or burning the toast Hmm.

spikeycow · 28/12/2010 14:53

Not forgetting that the statistics wrt female on male violence include women who have struck out in self defense.

GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 14:54

Love yes, Igot that wrong. It is 102 women killed by partners inone year FABBY, you have not covered yourself in glory on the gender difference betrween male and female criminals. It is enormous , I say that as a man...please check the official Prison pop etc etc

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Ephiny · 28/12/2010 14:56

Do you have a source for this statistic? I'm not questioning whether it's true, just interested to see where it comes from.

Yes there is some female-male domestic violence, but I am fairly sure men are far more likely to be killed or seriously injured by another man than by their wife or girlfriend. Whereas women seem to be in most danger in their own home with the person supposed to love and care for them :(

ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo · 28/12/2010 14:57

ah right, yes that makes sense now.

Goblinchild · 28/12/2010 14:58

This link quotes 101 women in 2009
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00wp9tb

GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 14:59

The reason the 102 killed is a startling figure is because it is men on women....the reverse would bear no comparision Murder is usually physically violent...most men are physically stronger than most women

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GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 15:04

yes womans hour dont dabble in dodgy figures

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GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 15:06

The last time I heard of our prison stats it was80 thou men 7thou women

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susiedaisy · 28/12/2010 15:13

2 women a week is the figure they use in the NHS when you go on study days about domestic violence, it also uses the figure of 1 in 4 women experiencing domestic abuse in their life time, by a husband or partner and, it is known that if England loose a world cup match (or any other major important football match) domestic violence increases and if they win, the birth rate increases 9 months later!

GabbyLoggon · 28/12/2010 15:19

thats interesting Susie...yes disappointment can lead to violence in some men...they cant handle it....but there is help if they seek it out....women have a reputation for nAgging. But nagging is not like thumping..nor is shoplifiting......Men top the Criminal Premier LeAgue......

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BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 28/12/2010 15:23

it's shocking - but the figures that really struck me hard in recent news was that fact that 1 women is killed in a domestic violence incident every 63 minutes in Russia Xmas Sad

Goblinchild · 28/12/2010 15:31

'2 women a week is the figure they use in the NHS when you go on study days about domestic violence'

And around a child a week killed by a carer/parent.

maighdlin · 28/12/2010 15:39

i hear the statistic of two women a week being killed and it still affects me. i have never experienced domestic violence first hand but my sil and consequently neice suffered terribly. the thing to think about is how many women though still alive have had their lives ruined by domestic violence.

from my experience the courts try to help but when the police don't do anything the efforts by the court are useless. its the lack of effort made by police that irritates me so much. men attack women who have court orders and the police, if they even bother their arse to come out, give the man a warning or let him go and the case never gets back to the courts for the bastard to be sent to prison where he belongs.

there also needs to be grass roots efforts made to teach men and women that violence against any one is wrong and not the right path to take. a statistic my uni lecturer brought up was that 2 out of 10 surveyed males in my university thought it was "OK" to use violence against a girlfriend who nagged them or refused to have sex with them. it terrifies me to think that young men think that violence is ever ok to use, let alone for such a stupid excuse like they were nagged at. but of course some will say its ok as they are lead to believe it is ok, e.g. if their dad hit their mother and its just part of a marriage, but there is no education that violence is wrong and that their are other alternatives. young women also need to learn to have the self respect and strength to leave a violent relationship. i hate when women say they stay because they love their abuser, when quite clearly their abuser does not love them at all, they must have a very warped sense of what love is and of themselves. they need help to stand up for themselves and know they deserve more in life than a man who treats them like shit.

sorry for long post but could write all day on this.

Ephiny · 28/12/2010 16:06

maighdlin, I agree we need education about violence against women not being right or normal, but does anyone remember when Harriet Harman tried to push for this? It was widely dismissed as 'feminist propaganda' or evidence of an anti-male agenda, or just generally mocked as something stupid and ridiculous. I was really amazed at the strength of the reaction against it.

beijingaling · 28/12/2010 16:33

Ephiny Is that true re Harriet Harman? (I'm not doubting you btw just hadn't heard it and shocked that anyone would think it's a bad thing!)

Must say in Aus they have really tried to crack down on DV. I think, though I'm not sure, that the statistics were higher there until relatively recently. I remember in all of the FHM & ZOO type mags (reading them for a uni course btw) there were lots of adverts and things against DV.

Terrible statistic. Thanks for posting it OP!

tulpe · 28/12/2010 16:44

That's such a sad statistic.

I also agree with others who have raised the issue of the numbers of women who are victims who thankfully haven't lost their lives but either still live in the shadow of these bastards (either in reality or with the issues they took with them when they left).

These arseholes are very clever. It happens to women of all ages and all classes, irrespective of education or experience.

I suffered domestic violence for 2 years. His line was always "I didn't hit you, I slapped you". Wow. Like that makes a difference. Which is effectively what the PC told him when I finally had him arrested.

tulpe · 28/12/2010 16:47

I should also like to say I wholeheartedly support all victims of domestic violence. My DB was a victime - his wife smacked the crap out of him at every opportunity. He is such a decent bloke that that he wouldn't even defend himself other than to cover himself with his arms or pillows etc to try and stop the blows.

I wonder where the mainstream support is for men in his situation?

Grockle · 28/12/2010 17:59

It makes me sick.

My friend was murdered last year by her exP on the grounds that if he couldn't have her (she split up with him) then no-one else would

Sad
tulpe · 28/12/2010 18:41

Grockie - am so sorry to hear that about your friend :(

itsawonderfuldarleneconnorlife · 28/12/2010 18:50

Fabby- go crawl back under the hole from whence you came- this is about female victims, go moan about 'the menz' elsewhere

this ststistic isn't a one-off, we were told it when I studied DV at uni in 2001

the only way to reduce it is to tackle the issue on a societal level

BoneyBackJefferson · 28/12/2010 19:26

FYI for those that asked

The average is

84 women killed each year due to domestic violence

and

54 men killed each year year due to domestic violence.