When do you stop worrying about your kids? (sensitive)

[theevildead2]

I spent years worrying I wouldn't get pregnant the past 9 months worrying I might have something go wrong in my pregnancy, I'm scared somwthing will go wrong with the labour. What I've managed to convince myself though is that in 6 months time when the baby is a bit sturdier I won't be worried all the time about it.

Lately on the news there has been a really upsetting story about a woman going missing (her body has now been found)when her parents came on to ask about her whereabouts it really broke my heart and it brought it home that actually... I may never rest when this baby gets here.

So I was just wondering those of you with children/ and older children/ adult children do you ever sleep? Does it get less scary?

You do sleep it gets less worrying but it's natural to worry DD1 drove the 500 miles to Plymouth to see her grandparents in October both DH and I where treading on eggshells until she phoned to say she'd arrived.
I miss her like hell now she's left home even though she's only 3 miles away.

You sleep but no you never don't worry. Something happening to any one of my beautiful girls is beyond my worst nightmare. You don't let that fear own you though. Push it away and get on with things - but any mother who says it isn't there is lying imo.

I don't think you ever stop worrying, but it becomes a normal part of life iyswim? My eldest is only 10, but fretting about his safety when we're apart just feels...normal rather than scary. Right now it's all a bit overwhelming for you (understandably) but once the baby is here and your life has been reconfigured to his/her needs it will all fall in to place. Having a child is a forever change in the way you think/feel, but it quickly becomes the norm.

I realize now that all thinking I did on the subject before the pregnancy... that this was one, rather large, oversight on my part!

I don't think anyone really understands the responsibility that you feel for your child until you have one. And it is bloody terrifying when it dawns on you for the first time. I remember vividly thinking that the midwife must be mad to let me take home DS1. Didn't she realise I was selfish and feckless?! FFS, the woman was a lunatic to expect me to keep him alive! It's perfectly normal to get hit by the 'wave' of parental terror. Before I had children, I'd see something awful on the news and feel sympathy until I turned it over. Now I feel a hideous empathy and shudder. I don't think that ever goes away.

We have 4 children - ages 26, 24, 4, and 1. The worry never ever goes away, you just worry about different things at different ages.

YOu sleep for a short while until they start going out on their own. Then you don't sleep again.

Once they leave home you can sort of put them out of your mind. I don't mean forget them, but you haven't got the active worry of knowing they are out and waiting for them to come home. You do still worry in general though.

You can sleep

Notevenamouse has summed it up nicely for me. :)

But one of the things that help you get a grip as your children get older is watching them meet challenges and scary stuff and overcome them. Sometimes because of what you've taught them, like how to use a climbing frame, and sometimes because of natural talent and good survival instincts.
Each time, it makes you realise that maybe they will cope with living in the world. So the panic becomes a little less.

The fear od something happening never goes away, but you get used to living with it.

I was talking to my childrens Great Grandma about this the other day. She said it never goes away and then your children have children and you worry about them. Then they have children and you worry about them as well. She also said that you get more resigned to the worry as time goes by though as Baabaa pointed out.

you never stop worrying i have a 19 year old and 13 year old twins the 19 is causing me more anxiety now than he has ever done!

My 24 year old wa svery suprised when I admitted last year I still look in on him when I got ot bed when he is at home

I don't think you ever stop worrying, but the nature of the worry changes, as does the depth of the worry. I used to get quite silly about the idea of someone stealing DD8 while we were out with her. She was in a buggy! Or on reins! Or on a wrist strap!! No one was going to steal her ffs. How ridiculous. But it was a real fear.

Now she tootles up and down the road with her friends, and the worry is about a car mounting the pavement or whatever. You HAVE to bite your tongue though else it turns them into ninnies.

I think before you have a child, you see dreadful stuff on the news, and feel sad.. but you turn over and it doesn't really haunt you.

From the moment your own child is placed in your arms it changes. Every hurt child, every hungry, every abused baby, every grieving mother, suddenly becomes, 'what if that was my child/me' and you can never ever feel detached from other parents' pain again. It's part of what makes being a parent so very special (whether by birth or adoption or however).

BUT.. you learn to live with uncertainty.. and the good bits outweigh the worries. I used to worry about my little children..now they are all teens and it's FAR worse .. I worry they will be hurt, lost, injured, raped, make wrong choices... yadda yadda.. but at the same time I have great pride and satisfaction in watching them become independent young adults .

You never sleep without half an ear open tho...

i find it gets more worrysome when they are old enough to go out,ds 12 is my worst worry,2 years ago he was knocked off his bike and left unconsious in the road,,it makes me sick thinking about it but whenever he is out or his little brother (7)im a nervous wreck.dd 14 is asthmatic and im constantly worrying about her to,

I recall saying to my midwife, when DS (currently 5 months) was about 3-4 days that i wished so much he was back in the womb, because then at least i knew he was okay.

I am not maternal, never really melted at babies or children, but worrying about him hit me like a ton of bricks.

You never stop worrying.

My Mum recently admitted that she worries about me more now than she ever did when I was a baby. She didn't have time to worry then but now she is retired and I am 42 she worries every time I drive my car, every time I go on a plane, every time I boil a kettle.

She says the worst time was when she was there with my ds so I could go to hospital to have dd. She says seeing your own child in labour is worse than labour itself.

I guess I will know for myself some time in the future (dd is only 12!)

Nope, DS1 is 22, you never stop worrying..

Are you eating enough? Did you get home ok? Have you changed your socks lately? etc etc..

Afraid it doesn't stop, just changes..

Mine are 21 and 16. Still worrying!

Mine are 22 and 17, you always worry.

Not so bad now the eldest is 22. He is sensible, at Uni, got his head screwed on, doesn't drink to excess, doesn't party, studies, already has a good job to go to when he finishes.

Is great with money.

Hardly hear from him, but he is home for Christmas.

I think being a parent you always worry and wonder, maybe less when they kinda prove they can do it on their own without us.

The hard bit is knowing when to let go.

It never stops. Actually on reflection I think I worry more now (they are 4,7 and baby) than I did when pregnant, and they were safe in the womb, and also I didn't know them IYSWIM.

ds friend fell off a balcony 2 yrs ago whilst they were all abroad for the first time,they were 17-18.I remember sitting in bed wishing id never had kids cos it was just too painfull if you lost them.not sure you ever stop but as someone said you can forget about them for a while when they are older.