People moaning about being skint when they're clearly not

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

Got a text from my friend this morning moaning about how skint she is after Xmas. Aren't we all?

With this particular friend, she constantly moans about how she is "brassic" or "skint". Everytime I see or hear from her she will make some reference to the fact that she has no money or that she has had to borrow money off her father to buy food. However in the past year she has:

Has a boob job
Had hair extensions regularly
Been clothes shopping most weekends
Had a Venture photography session for her and her 2 children, and bought a massive canvas that was £800 (she told me how much it was when she invited me round to see it)
Had 2 holidays abroad, one of which was to Florida.

Now, perhaps she's skint because she's bought all these things, but it's really starting to grate on me that she is constantly going on and on about her lack of money yet is always buying expensive things. And BTW I don't ask about these things, she will usually text/phone me and tell me about them, then in the next breath say that she's bought no food for 2 weeks and they're living off tinned beans and tomatoes from the cupboard.

Would you really define yourself as skint if you were buying luxuries like that? I think I need to give her a wide berth as she is really starting to annoy me.

YANBU. I have a friend who is not as bad as yours, but moans she is skint and then tells me all about her holiday that she has booked. I guess people have different priorities.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. I thought you were doing well, what with the boob job and the hair extensions, the photos, all the clothes, the holidays. I am really sorry that you are struggling."

[passive aggressive]

Good reply HEC.

Yeah, Sometimes it's hard to control my inner bitch

I saw this thread and thought it might be about me - I often say I'm skint although my DH and I earn a decent wage and live in a 3-bedroom house in a nice area and have a car and have savings set aside for emergencies.

By skint though, I mean that we watch our pennies, we budget tightly for food, I buy second hand clothes for the DCs, other than a couple of maternity clothes for work, I genuinely can't remember when I last bought myself any clothes. We don't have expensive holidays (we drive to Scotland or Ireland if we can afford the ferry and often go camping). We saved and saved and borrowed money (temporarily) from relatives to convert our garage recently in preparation for our expanding family. We use freecycle (both ways) and I don't use a credit card at all.

So not skint in many people's sense of the word, but we're not well off and do need to be careful.

I guess after paying for such things they are skint. Strange priorities maybe, especially if they can't afford to eat.

However I know I've turned friends down for outings, gig tickets etc because I don't have the money and then gone on lovely holidays. I choose to put my money aside for such things and once I've done so I only have enough left for the essentials. I don't neglect my friends at all, just wouldn't be able to go to London at the drop of a hat for example as I'd already have allocated my money so my reason would be the lack of cash.

She sounds tacky as hell !!

Well, judging by the amount of post CB-abolition indignation that went along the lines of '£100k p.a. doesn't go far these days, and we're really going to struggle you know!!! Sniff!'... I think a huge amount of people have completely lost touch with the value of money in general.

Me? I'm down to my last fifty thou.... spare a few coppers for a cuppa tea guv?

Having said that (above) I don't moan - that would be taking the piss big time.

Bubba, anyone with savings is not skint.

We're always skint but try not to moan. Its all relative though. Once bills are paid we have around £600 for the month for food and activites etc. I know some people have less, I know some people have more. To us, its a struggle.

just say " gosh I am not surprised you are skint, you have spent your money on ideas you much love and now there is nothing left"

repeat every time she says this frase and eventually she will get the message

Also anyone who goes on holiday at all is not skint.

agree to an extent LaWeasel That's why I hedged my bets and said I thought the OP title could be about me (before I read the OP itself).

Savings for me are essential not to live a worried life - but it's not money I see as to-hand (can't think of the proper word), as in I wouldn't think of using it for a holiday or going to a concert or something. I have a small amount of savings set aside so that when and if we need to do something major, like replace the boiler, buy a new car (as we currently have to do because of baby #3 on the way) etc, then we can more reasonably do that without using credit. If it were up to my DH, we would have no savings and would genuinely live hand to mouth, but I can't live like that if I don't have to.

It is a bit of a kick in the ribs isn't it?

I remember someone telling me how skint she wa. She had to dip into her Isa to renew her car and another martyr who moans she has no money or time and gets her hair blow dried every week. Now I suspect she may get it done at a discount rate, but that is still a lovely thing to have happen and one I couldn't imagine. Let alone dream of.

Now, I do think we should all be able to have a moan and a rant and get things off our chest. I really really think we need to choose our audience. Telling someone your car Isa woes is really shitty, when that person has just had their car written off and is struggling to scrape together £500 for a 'new' one. Whilst pregnant and really worried about the safety of new car old banger.

Of course she is entitled to be fed up at not having the 4k towards her new wheels, like she usually would have, but she needed to pick another person to moan too. Or at least another time to moan.

In the same vein, I am not going to moan to an mate that I am feeling skint [and believe me we are in some pretty boggy money worries here] when I have a car and house, and she is just taking her 3rd job to try keep her house/standard of living together.

It's about sensitivity isn't it.

Going on holiday isn't more expensive for us than living at home if we go to Scotland as we stay with relatives - expenditure is no more than normal, but it is in a different location.

I would reply saying she is very foolish to have no money left having spend so much on luxuries like the canvas / holidays.

Maybe she bought all those things on credit and has no idea of money. Then the bills come in and she realises that she is infact skint.

One day I'll have savings for rainy days. One day.

Oh God am actually crying now. Thread came on the back of inputting actual meter reading into gas/electricity account. And dh's car is still in the garage with no word........Sorry. I'll get mi coat.

Christmastreedelivery

Ta chuck. We'll be ok though. I could go full time if gp's will take the dd's for another night and day. [I work shifts as a midwfe which is horibly unfamily/un childcare friendly]

I spend too much and our house is freezing and horrible to heat. It's my own fault.

I imagine shift work is not compatible at all with childcare. We're both teachers, so at least our hours match. Our current childcare is stupidly expensive though (nursery and pre-school), so I won't be able to afford to work when #3 is here - ridiculous as that sounds.

People have different view on skint depending on what sort of life they have lead and experiences they have had.

My FIL and his ex were skint which ment to them selling thier second home. They still had the giant detached house in Surrey, endless cars and things.

I sayim skint when i have no mone in my bank account or purse.
I have lived (in the past) on £9 a week for food for a family of 3. It wasn't easy, we were in temporary accomidation, holidays and cars didnt enter our mind, we had 2 deck charis and a blow up matress in a scummy flat with a cot for ds and a microwave to cook in. We were skint.

If the op's froend has never been truley skint then how she is now may actually seem skint to her.

We are in the financial crap atm, but I'm not moaning about it because it's partly our fault (even though it's mostly not) and there are always other people worse.

venture are credit lending sharks
same for places like national cosmetic surgery whatitsname

maybe they are up to their necks in debt?

"broke" is different for everyone. IMO it means when you get to the point that it is a worry. That can include when you start to eat into savings if you can't see how you will manage once they're gone (because you're not managing on monthly income alone) and cannot see a time when you will be able to build it up again.

It is bloomin BORING though when someone goes on about it all the time yet does nothing to improve their situation even though there are lots of ways they could cut back. I find it particularly tedious when people do this then up-grade their home rather than down grade! (but we NEED a garage / garden / guest parking / 2 spare rooms )

My step mum, who I love dearly, has a really annoying habit of texting me to say stuff like 'Just realised, only one more working day until I fly to Barbados' !! and 'Can't wait to see Take That!'
She works very hard, and I don't begrudge anyone anything they have worked for, or even been gifted, but I live hand to mouth with my 3 kids and I just find it a tad, well, insensitive I guess.