People moaning about being skint when they're clearly not

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

Got a text from my friend this morning moaning about how skint she is after Xmas. Aren't we all?

With this particular friend, she constantly moans about how she is "brassic" or "skint". Everytime I see or hear from her she will make some reference to the fact that she has no money or that she has had to borrow money off her father to buy food. However in the past year she has:

Has a boob job
Had hair extensions regularly
Been clothes shopping most weekends
Had a Venture photography session for her and her 2 children, and bought a massive canvas that was £800 (she told me how much it was when she invited me round to see it)
Had 2 holidays abroad, one of which was to Florida.

Now, perhaps she's skint because she's bought all these things, but it's really starting to grate on me that she is constantly going on and on about her lack of money yet is always buying expensive things. And BTW I don't ask about these things, she will usually text/phone me and tell me about them, then in the next breath say that she's bought no food for 2 weeks and they're living off tinned beans and tomatoes from the cupboard.

Would you really define yourself as skint if you were buying luxuries like that? I think I need to give her a wide berth as she is really starting to annoy me.

I'd like to add that people I know normally declare this around the time my birthday, Christmas or some other gift-giving occasion arises. Otherwise it's champagne and luxury holidays, designer outfits, nannies and horse-racing.

BubbaandBump, you sound totally different to my friend; I think you're being very sensible with your money by saving and living within your means.

My parents-in-law are like this. To the extent that dh has thought about sending them a few hundred £ every month. However, they heat their house to at least 25 degrees all day long - honestly, it is unbearable - with the heating coming on at 6.30am even though they are both retired.

And they have just spent at least £50 each on their four gdc for Christmas when they could easily have spent half that.

BubbaandBump - yes you sound sensible and content to be so. Which I am never able to pull off That's a good way to be.

I wish you well for dc3, congratulations! Shame you won't be able to work anymore, maybe when the dcs are in cheaper childcare and school you will be able to go back. If you choose to?

Apologies for my spelling typos, I have a strange type lag thing going on

I think there is skint - can't imagine how to pay the power bill and garage bill and cover the kids after school clubs. The risk of loosing lifestyle things that are dear and vital and sacred. It's tedious and depressing and lacks any fun or sparkle.
Nevertheless some git will tell you to 'cut your cloth' like it's all a jolly war effort and a right giggle having to take a calculator when you do grocery shopping. Which it may well be, once or twice.

As a way of life it has it's drawbacks.

And then there is Skint - no food, nothing left to sell, can't afford prescriptions, bayliffs, and so on. Hell.

Had a discussion about poverty and being broke with ds2 and he summed it up that it's relative to how you see who you comparing to

compared to some were broke offically live below the poverty line etc but he could see that we have roof over head food in cupboards heating though we do watch that

he can see by virtue of me not smoking/drinking/going out that it is how we can afford to do sone things his friends can't who family on same income nice to know that they do see and appreciate it

.Also he realises that compared to some people that don't gave rook over head running water etc that we are rich

I had a friend like this, she was always "skint", and used to drive me round the bend with it, our usual conversations were usually along the lines of;

her - do you want to go to a gig?
me - I can't, I'm skint
her - me too, but the tickets are only £40 each
me - no, I'm properly skint - as in, can't afford the petrol to get to work
her - yeah, I'm totally skint too. Only been out 3 nights this week. I'm sure you can afford the gig.

While I understand that she just thought of skint in a different way it was really frustrating.

We had a lovely Mumsnetter on here whose posts were littered with references to how skint the family were. I remember her trying to sell some big items on the For Sale boards once saying she was desperate.

But on another thread she made reference to her and her dh's 20 a day smoking habits.

I will not listen to anyone complaining about being broke if they smoke, sorry.

I have a friend like this to the extent that our circle of friends organised our social life around her lack of money. Cheap restaurants etc , we basically lived students.

However, one night, 3 years ago, she let it slip that she made £80 per month from the interest on her savings. She wasn't skint just a bloody tightwad. Grr.

bibbity, I think I know who you mean. It annoyed me too.

she is skint if she is living off beans. but she isn't skint because she is poor, she is skint because she spends all her money without budgetting for essentials. she has no right to complain IMO. it is up to her what she spends her money on but beans and toast for a month is her choice and not being forced on her.

I think many of you are being harsh - if she is spending hardly anything on essentials all year but has £2000 of blowouts, she might be justified in feeling skint - £2K of blowouts is the same as £59 a week on food instead of £10.. or if you like, a starbucks a day and a cake at the weekends.

I know this because I get the same criticism - I can afford say five gigs a year, a trip r two to London and last year spend £100 on a coat, and £180 on bag and £400 on two work suits. I bought no other underwear, socks, tights, t-shirts, tops skirts jeans (apart from buying one pair of tescos last jan) and when people say 'lets go to another gig or say try to eat out four times in one month, I say I am skint and can't afford it, and they all point to my clothes purchases and say 'oh but you spend a lot on clothes' ... even though several of them are five-bags-from-primark every few months girls.

OMGosh- TREE are you pg???????

heroine but you aren't skint though, you just prioritise your money in a way that allows you to spend X amount on clothes and gigs and still eat well. you aren't skint through low income. so justtell your friends you have allocated your money to something otehr than meals out. but saying you are skint when you aren't gets up people's noses.

CaptainNancy - hell no! but BubbaandBump is, I think. With dc3 from the post.

I have no one to look after a dc3, otherwise I would be very hormonal indeed.

Plus I'm skint

I really wish power companies were open. Then I'd know if they have made a mistake with how they have designed their online biling system [yeah, right] or if we are indeed using £200 of fuel a month.

I might have to limit computer time to save electricity at this rate!

I think I agree with ILoveItWhenYouCallMeBoo on the use of skint in your case Heroine, but I don't mean you aren't entitled to feel a bit skint when you ahve to say no. Does that make any sense at all?

I mean, we are skint, and seem to owe the utilites and CTC £1000's. Yet I got a £60 lamp from my mum for christmas. How do I tell her to take it back and give me £60 for the CTC people? She'd be offended/heartbroken/march on parliament!

heroine I get what you say, but at the same time, by that logic a millionaire could describe themselves as skint if they'd spent loads of money on something really expensive.

Skint to me is zilch nadda feck all.
Short on cash to me means £10 to last til payday etc

But everyone is different. Like a pp said I think perhaps credit has brought her many things...

Rofl- sorry! Was skim-reading

I think the best term for people who have run out of money for fab stuff is 'month left over at the end of the pay packet'

I think that gets across the point that yes, you have no spends. But you aren't going to have to ebay your clothes to pay tax credits overpayment that you told them was an overpayment but they told you was your money to spend and not to worry and it would be ok and to enjoy it and it was there to make family life easier

Actually 'have no spends' is a good phrase too. You have nothing to spend, but your current account isn't going to be frozen.

I think we are skint. Infact we have savings, well paid jobs, a lovely house etc. However DH was made redundant 2 years ago, I was 5 years ago. I am self employed. We are doing well. But due to recession and doom and gloom I don't feel secure, and feel spending on non-essentials could be reckless if we lost our income again.

Maybe I should change skint to cautious?

I think we are skint. Infact we have savings, well paid jobs, a lovely house etc. However DH was made redundant 2 years ago, I was 5 years ago. I am self employed. We are doing well. But due to recession and doom and gloom I don't feel secure, and feel spending on non-essentials could be reckless if we lost our income again.

Maybe I should change skint to cautious?

I think though that your friend here means 'I have no available cash at the moment - or i have spent everything and can't afford another thing' by skint. In getting annnoyed you are assuming saying I'm (currently) skint means 'if you tot up all your spending over the year, and take away your necessaries you still have some left' which is a bit harsh - is like saying that someone saying they are thirsty is annoying because over the year they drink more water than they absolutely have to..

I consider poor/skint as when I have to (literally) count out pennies to buy a loaf of bread.

I got verbally abused by a homeless guy when he asked me for some spare change and I had to say "I literally have nothing". Still, I count my blessings, because I do have a roof over my head - even if I haven't paid this month's rent.

Yes, cautious is more appropriate than skint. If we're going to talk semantics, then people like me saying I'm skint to friends when they want to go out for an expensive meal is wrong, when I could afford it if I really wanted to (by dipping into savings), but I choose not to do that, as our monthly outgoings and income are roughly equal, if not more balanced in favour of the outgoings (about every two or three months or so I top up our regular account from our 'savings' account).

I think the 'moaning' about being skint is the thing that would piss me off about a friend saying it, if I knew she was in my situation.