DS still being treated as second-hand grandson!

[sterrryerryoh]

OK, I don't think I'm being unreasonable to be a bit miffed at this, but am wondering how best to tackle it.
Disclaimer: I don't EXPECT DS to be given wonderful expensive presents, and understand that some GPs do seem to have (unfairly) favourite grandchildren. Am also trying not to be ungrateful.

(Very) Brief Background:DS is 16 months old, and was adopted by us in Jan this year. DH's parents struggle to accept him, but (in their own way) try, and have now babysat for him, and spent a short amount of time with him.

Boxing day - we went to DH's parents house for dinner, along with DH's brother, SIL and their DD (aged 3)
Presents were distributed from PIL (DC's grandparents)
DN received: a (really lovely) rocking horse, a dolls house with dolls and loads of furniture, plus gift voucher for £25 to get more furniture, tickets to a local pantomime, clothes, numerous toys, and a whiteboard easel and pens

DS received: A dressing gown (he now has 3), a cardigan, a set of bath toys and a hat/scarf set from Matalan.

That was it.

Now - on one level I am fuming, as I think this was grossly unfair, but my head is telling me not to get drawn in, and to understand that we do not have the right to expect presents, and should be happy with whatever we get. DS is only 16 months old - he doesn't know the difference. YET
But next year, and all the following years, this can't be allowed can it? He can't be ostracised like this. So, do I say something, or do I just remove him in the future from this potentially toxic environment where, when he is older, he will see the comparison for himself? Or do I do both? Because right now, I just want to tell them what shit grandparents this has made them.

It's NOT the presents. i wouldn't waste anger over that, if it hadn't been for the utter favouritism shown to DN.

Sorry for rant. what shall I do?

ps
that someimes just appeared from a badly deleted sentence - it is not a snide reference to previous comment.(note to self - preview posts!)

Reading some of these posts I don't understand how people can be so cruel.

Thank you for all the personal stories and advice based on your own experiences. It does help lots.

It?s not like DS doesn?t get lots of stuff - he does! And he has a fabulous relationship with my Mum and Dad. It was just how blatant the disparity was, that got to me.
In my heart of hearts, I don?t think I was expecting anything else really, but it breaks my heart that they seem to be demonstrating their lack of acceptance in this way.

I guess the positive is that we are aware of the shape of things to come now, and can work on a bit of damage limitation. We will just keep on doing our thing, and leaving them to do theirs.
Gits

@ namechange?s ?sometimes?

Yep, namechange gives very good advice

Sometimes

Things could be different next year, maybe to do with your ds's age and maybe to do with a strengthening relationship between gps and your son. I'd hold fire, see what happens on the nexct birthday and christmas.

YANBU at all, that disparity could be ok in some Instances but given the other situations you've had with them, it really sounds like it wont change.

I don't think I've read your other threads, and have never been on the adoption board, so apologies if I'm bringing up bad issues - but do they just hate the fact you adopted?!

I can't see why anyone would. If my DCs choose to adopt one day, whatever the reason, I'm damn sure I'd love the child as much as if they were biologically related.

My dad has 11 grandchildren, six bloodline, two adopted and three step-grandchildren. None of them are treated any differently. They are all his much loved grandchildren.

Not sure about the UK, but here in Australia, step-children would not be included in inheritances unless particularly named in the will.

My dad went to great trouble to have his will written so that the step-grandchildren are also beneficiaries of his will. This is because he believes that ALL his grandchildren are treated equally.

I am that your PILs can be so unfair!

Nice to hear you had a lovely first Christmas with your son.