to think 4pm on xmas day is too late?

[macdoodle]

for XH to pick up the DD's :(
They are 9 and 3, overexcited and tired. DD2 is shattered and poorly.
We have had a lovely day, apart from the fact my mothers dog nipped DD2's face :(
He said he would pick them up between 2-3 for a few hours and to give them their presents.
So we had an early/rushed lunch, finished at 2pm, DD1 rung him to say they were ready, he said they had just started lunch and would be there at 3pm
At 3:45 and DD1 getting anxious, he rung to say he would be there in 5 mins and to be ready. He arrived at 4pm clearly drunk and proceeded to rant aggressively about the dog without even trying to discuss it and see how DD2 was.
When I said he couldnt take them and he was too pissed to drive, he sneered and said he wasnt, GF and their DD were in the car (a big stupid 4WD that I am pretty sure she isnt safe to be driving on the icey snowy roads).

So they're gone, upset, I am going to get back 2 very tired, hyper, irrtable children at god knows what time. He wouldnt have them tomorrow as he's "out", I offered earlier he said no.

I'm NBU am I??

[Secretwishescometrue]

How awful for you :( hope your girls are home with you again

[macdoodle]

Thanks all, the policeman came to speak to me, he had checked the records and found all the domestic abuse and harassment stuff, so was very very symptomatic. He was happy that we handled the dog situation, discussed with DD's about not teasing the dog,not scaring it, and keeping them seperate for now.
He then went to speak to Xh and the children :( And ex brought them back about an hour later!!
They were ok, DD2 was absolutely shattered and went straight to bed. DD1 was more upset that the dog might need to be put down, reassured, and happy with her lots of expensive presents from XH. Personally, less presents, some chid support, or pay for some music lessons etc woud be prefereable, or even some consistent access. But she was happy.
I am done being reasonable and letting him do whatever he wants whenever he wants. I want a proper access agreement that he sticks to, will complete my CSA claim which he keeps getting me to put on hold, and he can remove all his shit in my garage. He ruined xmas for me, totally unneccasarily if he could for once behave like a rational adult.

[Anniegetyourgun]

Glad to hear there was a happy ending, and thank heavens for sensible policemen!

I hope you realise there is actually no chance of XH behaving like a rational adult, because he isn't one.

[VallhalaLalalalalalalalaaaaaa]

Glad it's sorted for now at least and that the children are safely back with you.

I back Midori 101% in all she has said - you cannot blame a dog for snapping when he/she has been hurt and the adults should have been supervising the 3yo and the dog far better then it wouldn't have happened.

[macdoodle]

I didn't blame the dog at all. We hdd dealt with explained he.got a fright and she had to be more careful. We were supervising closely I was sat on the floor with them it was just one of those things she leaned over and accidentally hurt him and he snapped. No ones fault not dd2 the dogs or mine. An accident which ex blew ou..t of all proportion

[mollycuddles]

ffs what is it with MN and dogs?

I tend to lurk on these threads as I'm not sure what I have to add being lucky to have married a good bloke but I always notice macd's threads because her exH really is a total twonk. Why have so many people focussed on a minor dog nip? That wasn't what destroyed xmas for these two young girls and distressed them so much.

Hope you manage a nice day today x

[ragged]

Here, here, Mollycuddles.
At least they're back with you now, OP. Keep papering over the cracks as best you can, for the DC's sakes.

[MmeLindt]

Molly
Going by the info in the OP, I would be concerned about the dog bit too - when I read the rest of the thread it was clear that it was not an issue, but not knowing MacDoodle's story or any other details, it is no wonder that the dog bit was picked up on.

MacDoodle
Glad that you got the DC back and that the policeman who came to see you was on the ball.

Do you have a lawyer, have you had proper legal advice. I think you need to push ahead on getting a custody agreement set up and getting money out of your ex. He is taking the piss, time to put a stop to it.

Put it behind you, it is just one day. You are making a lovely life for your DC without your abusive knobhead of an ex. That is more important.

[mollycuddles]

Not always knowing the back story is why I usually lurk rather than jump in and pontificate. In this case op's dd2 being bitten did bring joy at Christmas. Macd's exh will have been bloody delighted at the chance to stick the knife in. He won't have cared about her being hurt at all.