Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

I am literally fuming with DH.........AIBU?

80 replies

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 17:12

Two days ago I started with the flu. I am 27 and have never had flu before. I know lots of people love to say "its not lu just a bad cold" but seriously, I feel like Im dying. I have been barely able to walk. I am so very very cold but hot at the same time, the bed has been soaked with sweat and I have not eaten since Tuesday morning. I can only manage warm lemonade and ribena. Yesterday DD was booked in at nursery as planned (she finished school last week) but obviously I didnt go to work, I just slept.

This morning I had arranged for DD to go to MIL's (thinking Id be at work), DP annonced this morning that as I wasnt going to work, he wasnt going to take DD to his mums, it wasnt necessary. Bearing in mind Im still in the pj's I put on Tuesday afternoon and can hardly raise my head from the bed. Poor DD has been a good girl all day I did manage to get up and fix her some snacks and she has snuggled with me in my bed with Cbeebies on for a large portion of the afternoon. Then he calls me up all cheery like an hour ago announcing he is getting fish and chips would I like some? Why does everything stop when he is ill but for me I must get on with it? I am furious and he can cook Christmas dinner.

OP posts:

Original poster

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 17:37

Who Knows - she has ONE grandchild, good as gold to look after, and I am never ill! I hardly think it would be too much to sit her in front of some Christmas films and chuck her some paper and colouring pens every once in a while. Poor kid has lived on quality street and untoasted teacakes all day :(

OP posts:

catinthehat2 · 23/12/2010 17:41

CHAnces are he'll get it off you over Christmas.

Juast as you are recovering he will get it. That is your cue to nip off first thing to the sales on your own. On a whim. NOthing planned. So he will have to look after DD.

TheCrackFox · 23/12/2010 17:42

Yes, when he does come down with it (and he will) make sure he has DD all by himself all day. Again, what an arse.

Original poster

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 17:44

he has now put the bath on for me and is blathering about vitamin C and eccinachea. He is so frigging holier than thou - it must be MY fault Im ill because the vitamins were there in the cupboard and I ignored them!

He has then cheerfully rattled off the list og booze his work have given us for Christmas. He has not a clue how poorly I am feeling!

OP posts:

Ephiny · 23/12/2010 17:51

If vitamins really prevent the flu so reliably, maybe he should tell the NHS and the WHO, I'm sure they'd like to know .

Really I'm amazed at the stories I see on here about the lack of sympathy men seem to have for their wives when ill. Flu is a serious illness (in case he hadn't noticed quite a few people are in intensive care or have died from it) and really makes you feel absolutely awful, the least he could do is show some concern and empathy and try to make things easier for you.

KatieMiddleton · 23/12/2010 17:52

I was going to tell you yabu to use literally when you mean figuratively - but then I read your post and feel very sorry for you. Your dh is an arse.

Hope you're better soon

Original poster

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 17:56

Thanks, MIL must be feelin bad she has texted me to offer to collect DD tomorrow so we can tidy up before Christmas (to her, if things are tidy it doesnt matter if you are dying!) but I just told her Id see how I feel.

OP posts:

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 23/12/2010 17:58

Lick all his food and suck his toothbrush so he gets it haw haw.
What business is it of his what arrangments you make for childcare when you are ill.
My ex was like this and we had 4 kids,never even aknowledged i was ill.I then had to have chemo and he still carried on as normal.I had 9 treatments over 6 months and stayed at a nice hotel the day after the last 8.Bliss.Got rid soon after,the twat.
Next time you are ill make your own arrangments even if it means taking her there yourself.

MadamDeathstare · 23/12/2010 18:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 18:02

God Ledk I feel bad moaning about 1 bout of flu now! You poor woman!

Its always the same when DD is ill, its always MY plans that have to change, he CANT POSSIBLY take parental leave, it must be me. I am very fed up of it. Im just waiting until I can take some more Coedine, I seem to like him better after two of those

OP posts:

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 23/12/2010 18:03

don't blame blame him, he's the father and husband.

Original poster

JodiesMummy · 23/12/2010 18:04

Why doesnt she MDS? Its not like Im dumping her off to go shopping or to the pub. I am quite ill, and DD has had a horrid day stuck in the house with me and little to do, while MIL has been at home with nothing else to do. Its what we do for family, we do them enough favours. They can fuck off now.

OP posts:

JetLi · 23/12/2010 18:12

I'd clean the toilet with his toothbrush TBH. YADNBU - hope you feel better soon OP. Take it steady & try & give yourself some time to recover - much easier said than done I know though

MadamDeathstare · 23/12/2010 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 23/12/2010 18:14

omg please dont feel bad,that was 16 yrs ago i was just making the point about the hotel.
I had bad cold last week and felt like shit never had flu but can only imagine.You can have some ibruprofen as well as codiene you know.I am 34 wks pg and had to practically beg gp to be allowed codiene last wk but it did cheer me up no end.I have some packed in my hospital bag just in case im not adequately medicated post section

FrostyAndSlippery · 23/12/2010 18:18

What an arse. Hope you give him what for. And hope you feel better soon

swampmonster · 23/12/2010 18:38

don't ,I know how you feelI have got the flu, my dh went off to his hobby twice this week and left me lying room the floor of my ds's bedroom one evening, hoping that I could lay next to him and he would go to sleep for me at 6.30p.m.!!! needless to say I was still up putting him into bed at 8.30p.m. Then, he also let me get up 4 x during that same night with the other children who are also ill and I am pregnant with dc4!!!!Oh yes got up and went off and out to work the next day.....and like you I am the one thats made to feel unreasonable!I just hope that I can raise a smile xmas day for my children's sake!

Ormirian · 23/12/2010 18:42

It's not MILs fault though is it? DH cancelled it, not her.

TyraG · 23/12/2010 18:42

Kick him in the crotch the tell him to suck it up and take it like a man. Fucker.

superv1xen · 23/12/2010 18:47

OMG OP I am furious on your behalf

fucking men! if it was a man who was ill it would be completely different, they are dying when they are ill, the whole bloody world stops for them.

i hope you get well for xmas.x

MsKLo · 23/12/2010 18:48

Oh tyra g that made me howllllll with laughter! Jodiesmummy that's good advice ;-)

perfumeditsawonderfullife · 23/12/2010 18:52

Gawd he is some help

I had the flu at the Millenium, the entire family were doing the conga down the street while I was throwing up with a temp of 104 and three duvets on me. Had I a gun I would have shot myself. It was the worst feeling in the world, even worse than having my throat cut open without anaesthetic.

My dh is great when I am ill, snacks in bed, keeps ds amused or takes him to school for me. That's what a loving partner should do.

Hope you feel better soon.

Kitsichick · 23/12/2010 19:00

I have only just joined so I might be missing something- I don't consider myself a prude and I will certainly swear if I drop something heavy on my toe or we are out of choc/wine! I guess I am just a bit amazed- being a newcomer to talksites anyway- at the amount of swearing. Do people really speak to their friends using these epithets as a matter of every day language? And if so, what do you use when you are really cross/hurt? I teach adolescent boys who have been socially excluded so I can hardly claim to faint at the sound of a cuss. But my friends and I don't swear like this in our emails or talk with each other. Is it a Mumsnet thing? Or is it a general thing on most talk sites?
Kitsi

sleepingsowell · 23/12/2010 19:01

But don't be a martyr - don't say to your MIL you'll see how you feel tomorrow, you KNOW you will feel crap. You are angry that she hasn't wanted DD today, so TAKE HER UP on having DD tomorrow - why wouldn't you?

I hope you are much better soon and able to enjoy christmas xxx

JuJusDad · 23/12/2010 19:04

hahaha @ TyraG - excellent idea

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread