To think people with pristine houses are weird

[JJ17]

I try, the house is OKish, my rules being "would social services take my kids away". But there are certain sticky bits on the carpet.

The loo seat doesn't fit right and most of the wallpaper is scribbled on.

Am I alone in this?

I watch reality TV and most peoples' houses are more decorated than mine.

I can afford to do 1 or 2 rooms a year therefore the rest are for shit most of the time.

I have lots of books and art etc but house is till organised and clean

I like a tidy house. I don't stress about having a tidy house all the time, but I really like my house, and therefore I enjoy it being tidy and clean, with things I like inside.

I think this has a lot to do with priorities. Beyond having the place at an adequate level of cleanliness (no health hazard), it is all a matter of aesthetics. I, for example, I don't understand "show homes" where you think you have accidentally come to a hotel instead of someone's home. Often you see hardly any individuality (especially if decorations consist of a print canvas designed to go with the sofa, etc.), and it makes me question whether the occupant actually has any. Also in my opinion it's a bit of OCDish. Vacuuming every day (or twice a day like someone I know) is just not needed unless you make a hell of a mess. Beyond the necessary, and maybe a bit more to keep the place looking reasonably nice (nevermind the cupboards, though.. who sees them anyway?), I'd rather do something else, like socialize with DH or read. I looove my books, and am a bit of an intellectual snob. Also, my books are dust repellent .

Once went to the house of a guy who only had 2 books on his shelves - one on Ferraris and another one of the history of Playboy. I was a bit stunned. The rest of the shelf decorations were straight out of a furniture showroom, e.g. bowls full of weird mosaic balls and polished stones.. (What is the point of having shelves if you only put pointless crap on them?) His house was pristine, which I find especially worrying in a guy (sexist, I know!).

Interesting correlation here. Those with mothers who were immaculate (like mine) seem to be quite laid back about domestic perfection. Those from unkempt and grubby homes seems to be much cleaner and more conscious of the need to keep up appearances.

I noticed that onceamai

I said it before on another thread and I'll say it again here - I really resent the implication that because my house is clean, tidy and organised that I am weird, boring, unimaginative or would rather spend my time cleaning than with my children. I just happen to like living in a house that is clean and tidy.

I would hate to live in squalor. I am not comfortable in clutter and feel more relaxed when things are clean and tidy. I find it makes life much easier if things are in the right place.

However my house is still a home - it is a bombsite throughout the day with toys and books everywhere, but it all gets cleared up when the children go to bed. I couldn't sit and relax if it was a shitstate.

My home is certainly not the sort of place where guests can't relax, or worry about dropping crumbs or spilling their tea. Anything can be cleaned up later! But structural damage is NOT acceptable - my children have NEVER scribbled on walls and I would not tolerate that.

I find it genuinley stressful to be an untidy and dirty house. I clean thoroughly once a week and tidy every day.

Scribbling on walls is totally unacceptable as is children making a mess in every room. They can make a mess in their own playroom and then tidy up but nowhere else.

We have always rented houses and one rental agent on checking us out at the end of a three year tenancy could not believe we had actually had toddlers in the house as it was so clean. It is not weird, just a matter of personal choice how you want to live.

I agree BeenBeta. I never stop but it's never perfect and it's never pristine. Bottom line is I can do clean or I can do tidy. I prefer to do clean. The DC are now nearly 12 and 16 and I think it's getting worse - their stuff is getting bigger!

The truth is once your house is organised - and if you tidy as you go along - it takes very little to maintain. That's what I find anyway. And it helps that my husband likes living in an organised and tidy house too.

Agree cupcakebakerer - we are having loads of shelves/storage fitted at the moment. I know that once we actually have places to put everything it will be so much easier to keep tidy anyway.

Also agree with you onceamai. My best friend also grew up in a really messy grubby house(our mums were friends!) and she is the same as me now. Practically OCD about keeping her house clean and tidy. I guess when you grow up in a dirty cluttered house you really appreciate living in a clean, tidy house later in life. And vice versa. The same as how I never went abroad until I was 17 - I'm sure I appreciate holidays abroad a lot more now than if I had been on loads as a child

I cannot bear dirty homes. I visited the home of a relative, the house was so dirty that one practically had to wipe ones feet on leaving the house. There was dirty childrens underwear all on the living room carpet, the mirrors have never met Mr Sheen. The toilets had brown stains and there were black marks all over the walls. My relative apologised for the state of her house and then proceeded to blame her 3 year old dd. She has only one dc fgs and she cannot keep her house clean.
My house is not a show home, i have three young dc's, however it is always clean. I wake up an hour earlier to give the house a quick spring clean. People who don't clean their homes are just downright NASTY

I am also not a fan of the 'show home house' but I'm also not a fan on untidyness or dirtiness. I grew up in a home where things were clean and tidy but slightly cluttered. My bedroom was a sty, dirty, messy and downright unhygienic. When I had DD1 I became lazy in my own home from depression and it was a disgusting way to live. Now me, DH, and our two DD's try and live better.

The cupboards are a mess but the floor is hoovered, the windows and mirrors are clean, the toilet and sink are clean, the washing up gets done after every meal and the tops are wiped down and we do washing on a rota. We have family photos, ornaments, pictures in frames, candles, books, magazines and flowers around but we are tidy about it and try to make it aesthetically pleasing.

Drawing on walls is a no no. DD1 is 2.6 and her and DSS have a habit of drawing on the bedroom walls. Luckily we have them out of it now and the pens get taken away unless they're supervised but I have to paint over one wall in her room before the New Year now.

If I know I'm expecting guests I'll blitz. It'll take me 10 minutes. God forbid my Bampi comes. He hates it, calls me dirty, unclean etc and berates me. I try to ignore him now.

MIL has not dusted in a decade. Every surface is covered in washed/ironed clothes, knitting, knitting patterns, half finished craft projects, paperwork, school work, ornaments etc. It took me two visits to realise the thing the crap was piled on was a dining table. Complete with chairs you can't see/sit down on. She has no carpet in the halls or on the stairs and it has been that way for eight years. Their computer room is about 5ft wide and consists of enough space to squueze through to sit down and floor to ceiling shelves of books and board games.

Honestly, PIL's makes me uncomfortable.

Gosh, there is no moral superiority in being a slattern with children who trash possessions and decorations.

Home should be a haven from the chaos outside, IMO.

I, for one, do not live in "squalor". Like I said earlier, I would like a pristine house, but my definition of "pristine", of course, differs somewhat with that of other people. To the OP, "pristine" is a house with no scribblings on the walls and a fitting toilet seat. To others it means daily hoovering and dusting, as well as near empty surfaces. To me a pristine house is one without my husband's clutter, but luckily it is contained in his study and in the cupboards (and nothing can be done to it short of divorce). Also there are sometimes a bit more stuff on the coffee table or breadcrumbs on the floor in the kitchen than my definition of "pristine" allows, but keeping my house that way is just not practically doable. Neither is it that desirable (on the expense of doing other stuff or completely losing my marbles). If I had a cleaner - maybe, but 60 pounds a pop is steep..

Sidge
I could have written your post word for word. I find that clutter makes me feel claustrophobic. My house is by no means a show home. I have far too many books, photographs and paintings, nothing matches and I wouldn't know how to "dress" a room, but it is always clean and fairly tidy.

DD has never drawn on the walls, but if she had it would have only happened the once. If she had persisted I would have hidden all the pencils etc and only let her use them while supervised.

I have never felt the need to decorate every year. I like light airy rooms and find that my paintwork lasts for several years before needing to be refreshed.

JJ17, I grew up in a council flat and it was relaxing not having to give a toss about all of this home decoration nonsense . My mum was a single mother and worked full-time, so she gave the house a good once over on a Saturday morning and that was it. We re-decorated twice in the 20 odd years we lived there, and even that was just a quick lick of paint.

Our house is always a bit messy and slightly dusty (old house). Even if we had the time/money 9which we don't) I really haven't got that interior design/home making gene. Is the house functional? Then sorted. I am not going to spend my life cleaning skirting boards and obssessing over cushions and throws and pwitty girly things.

Whilst my house seem to look exactly like yours OP, I think YAB a tiny bit unreasonable. I am so of people with prisine houses. In fact for the last 10 years my new year resolution has been to be more organised and have one of those pristine houses myself. I never quite manage it past the 3rd of January though!

I had missed that bit about kids scriobbling on the walls.

Why the hell would you let your kids do that? That is totally out of order imo - in teh first place to let your kids do it, and in the second just putting up with it and letting the scribbles stay there, and the scribbling carry on.

Whoever mentioned Unclutterer - looks good.

I've attempted Flylady in the past but found it too twee and God-worthy (also - clean the bathrooms - what - every day???).

This seems sensible and has aspirational pictures of serene spaces to ogle, hopefully not instead of actually de-cluttering!

I do prefer my house when it's tidy (it's always clean), but I've realised my main downfall is the paperwork, which I can't stand doing so leave in a pile on a shelf - quite out of the way, but still in view.

My resolve for the NY is to clear it and keep it clear.

My abiding memory of wall-scribbling is of the shock and horror of seeing that my 5yo had drawn a huge face in thick black felt tip on the cream wall of our living-room.

I mentioned it to my friend who was equally shocked that her pfb had just done the same thing. Then we looked around the playground and noticed the walls covered in jolly chalk drawings - the kids had been encouraged to do it at playtimes, but no one had thought to stress to them not to do it at home.

How we laughed!

There is, to me a huge difference between dirty and untidy. My house is rarely dirty and if mud etc gets brought in I clean up straight away, but, especially in the holidays it gets gradually messier and messier! Half built warhammers, Lego, half read books and magazines, but I think of that as " friendly" mess!

I don't think a tidy house and a 'cold' house go hand in hand. I keep the place very tidy but have lots of photographs, books, bits and pieces (articles, nice cards etc)stuck to the fridge, jusg of flowers and so on. I just don't have clothes lying around, dirty cups and saucers sitting around the kitchen, old newspapers thrown around the floor. That's messy not homey, friendly clutter.

Your house sounds a bit like mine swanandduck

Bloody hell I am agreeing with Bonsoir it must be xmas!