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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

5 year old on own all day

57 replies

hifi · 22/12/2010 09:54

on hols at the moment. dd1 goes to kids club and has become friendly with another girl. shes in there from when dd gets there about 11.30 and she stays until 9pm.she also orders her food in.
i have met the parents once in 10 days but they are always off to confrence calls.
i think its a bit much.

OP posts:
rookiemater · 22/12/2010 10:15

If you have met the parents could you volunteer to take her out for a bit with your DD that way at least she will get to see the outside. Am very Xmas Envy at you being in the warmth.

FellatioNelson · 22/12/2010 10:17

Shirley I do love you so very very much. Grin

JaneS · 22/12/2010 10:21

Well, they're not on holiday, are they? Not if the parents are working and the kid is in childcare.

You've no reason to think they don't have a proper holiday some other time - this is clearly just a work trip they're trying to make a bit more relaxing than it might otherwise be.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 22/12/2010 10:21

I don't see the problem, maybe they're working to keep their house.

It's not like she's been sent up chimneys and eating worms....

TandB · 22/12/2010 10:21

Stupid, pointless thread with a deliberately misleading title to get people to read. I hope you aren't somewhere too warm or those big fluffy judgey pants are going to get a bit hot.

thx1138 · 22/12/2010 10:23

I misunderstood the post. This is a holiday kids club. I thought this was a christmas holiday play scheme thing.

It is sad that they aren't spending more time with their child on a family holiday.

MumBarTheDoorSantaUsesChimneys · 22/12/2010 10:28

Maybe they should have flown home by now but are stuck due to weather? Maybe they are having to work from there in order to earn money and this is the best/ easiest way.

FWIW My DS is an only and I'm a lone parent. I booked a hotel with Kids Club for Easter hols in Spain. I thought I'd have a few hours a day to myself but he wouldn't go despite my trying to force persuade him. Grin

ChippingIn · 22/12/2010 10:29

thx - the childs parents are working, they aren't on holiday if they even exist

Yes it's long hours, but it may only be one week a year and the parents do actually have to make a living.

It's not like they've left her in the room on her own and told her to order room service if she gets hungry FFS.

Drama Queen.

sieglinde · 22/12/2010 10:36

hifi, I don't get it; you are using the same club, and you think it's sad? Do you work? If not, why are you leaving your child there?

duchesse · 22/12/2010 10:44

As I understand it, the OP is on hols somewhere, her child is in kids' club as is this other child and OP hasn't seen them more than once in ten days.

Let me run a few scenarios past you:

Maybe this is the only holiday they can manage as they are clearly very busy
Maybe their business is going down the pan and they need to be working this much
Maybe their business runs up to to Christmas mad busy but manageable by internet and phone and then goes quiet and they have a proper holiday
Maybe they have lost or had to sell their house and thought they may as well go away
Maybe they come to fetch the little girl for lunch or mid afternoon when you don't see them
Maybe they're not very comfortable in their parenting and have a nanny usually and she is away so they figured they'd go abroad and put the little one in kids' club while they work
Maybe it not really much of your business if they little girl seems otherwise happy and healthy

Yes, it is a shame that they are not having much of a holiday, but that is their problem, not yours and I refer you to my last point above.

FrostyAndSlippery · 22/12/2010 10:49

I still think YANBU to be sad for the girl, whatever the circumstances it isn't ideal for her to be in the kids club for so long, but I guess it could be the best option due to other reasons which nobody can judge.

JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube · 22/12/2010 10:53

So, the parents are working. In many businesses, the run up to Christmas is the busiest time of year. This could be a particularly busy week. Or they could be dealing with some kind of crisis. Maybe they take their dd out in the afternoon, and she goes back when they have dinner.

Fact is OP, you just don't know.

bupcakesandcunting · 22/12/2010 10:55

This is terrible.

I need to get my kid into one of these twelve hour kid's clubs/ordering his own dinners. I've been going wrong somewhere.

OhLittleTownOfShirley · 22/12/2010 10:58

innit bupcakes? When I go on holiday the kids clubs are only ever on for a few hours during the day, so I dump my children in them for as long as possible and then I tend to either leave them in the bar all day with Juan the waiter, or sometimes I superglue them to a lilo and let them float around the pool on their own.

TheEarthIsFlat · 22/12/2010 11:10

Perhaps the alternative was to leave the child home alone in another country with a babysitter she didn't know. At least this way they're seeing her every day?

Agree it sounds a bit odd, but there must be more.

ImeldaM · 22/12/2010 11:14

I wish I had one of these here now Xmas Grin, my DS (5) is practically 'home alone' as I have chest/sinus infection and about as much use as chocolate teapot! Just been joking with my mum that he'll probably wire up some invention on doorstep like boy in 'Home Alone' film, although he is more likely to construct a 'choc/sweetie reacher' so he can eat all the xmas chocs!! Xmas Grin

Have told him he can eat anything in fridge, DP bought sausage rolls, lots of cheese etc but no way can I cook anything

Joking aside, it is a long time for girl to be in kids club, but she maybe does want to be there, and she is definately not on her own all day.

katedan · 22/12/2010 11:18

I think MumBarTheDoorSantaUsesChimneys might have an idea. Maybe the parents are meant to be back at work in blighty but are stranded following their holiday and thought it would be more fun to have their child in a kids club with other kids rather than with two VERY stressed parents who are trying to hold their business/jobs together miles from home and with no possible flight home. During the ash cloud this happened to lots of families and it must be horrible for the parents.

It does seem a very odd situaion for a "normal" holiday situation but there is lots of reasons they could be forced into this situation.

dickiedavismincepies · 22/12/2010 11:32

I'm pretty sure the parents wouldn't be working if they had any choice.
But I'm sure you should call SS anyway just to make sure. Perhaps inform Daily Mail also.
Would be a tragedy if your sticky beak got stuck to the phone though.

ImeldaSnowboots · 22/12/2010 11:57

LOL dickiedavis Xmas Grin

Lulumaam · 22/12/2010 12:01

the OP is leaving her child for 4 or so hours. but that's ok, she's on hols

and the family leaving their child their for 10 hours or so ( whihc i don't think it the case for holilday club child care ) whilst they are working are in the wrong.

whateveeeeeeeeeeeer

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 22/12/2010 13:16

Maybe they have been sent on a business trip /conference just before Xmas and they decided to take their child rather than leave her at home with GP or similar.

Maybe their holiday is being completely derailed by a business crisis.

Maybe they aren't very good parents.

At least their child is being left in a safe environment with other children and appropriate childcare.

whatkatydidathome · 22/12/2010 13:22

hifi not sure I get your point - are you suggesting that she'd be better off in care? From a personal pointo fview I do not agree with any long term childcare but I accept taht others think differently. The little girl appears safe and not neglected. Unless you are offering to help the parents by looking after here yourself then I don't see hwo its any of your business. If your little girls is friends with her then why not ask her back to play some days?

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 22/12/2010 13:24

Ah, sounds sad. I bet she'd like to spend a little more time with her parents.

JenaiMarrsTartanFoxCube · 22/12/2010 13:26

I do not agree with any long term childcare

What, ever? No afterschool clubs, chilminders, nurseries, babysitters?

undercovasanta · 22/12/2010 13:32

'Also, is this a 24 hour playscheme? Because I got to get me some of that shit.'

PMSL Shirley!