Feel like such a heartless b***h but really im out of my depth with this womans problems and lies

[stoppinattwo]

This has been going on for some time now, this poor lady knocks at my door with children in tow, she has some massive problems at home, I think her husband hits her (infact Im 100% definate he does) the kids are so affected by instability that goes on...my heart goes out to her it really does....she has 5 kids and is probably in her late 20's.

BUT I never get a straight answer out of her about what her problem is, she seems so scared/ paranoid and her conversation is so random and disjointed (not sure there arnt drugs involved)

Anyway tonight she has called with a HUGE shiner, with a story that someone broke into her house whilst she was there with the kids and she was so scared she jumped out of the window and hence the black eye!!!

I dont doubt she did jump out of a window but im guessing she was trying to get away from her partner - I mean it was supposed to have happened at 11.00am in the morning....

My door has always been open to her, and I know she is increadibly scared of something but I really dont know what to do for her, all my suggestions are ignored...Im losing patience but I dont want to turn my back on her, If anything serious happened to either her or the kids I would never forgive myself....(the youngest boy who is 4, walked into my living room, i beconed him over and his mum called him back he looked at her ignored her and came and sat on my knee which made me feel quite awkward as he hardly knows me really but was prepared to come to me)

I just really dont know what to do, I have tried to write as much as I can to recall everything but Im sure there is more as I think about it....Her stories are so inconsistent but it is obvious she is crying out for help

I have a suspicion that if your neighbour has been the victim of domestic violence, then you can report that and the police HAVE to act, irrespective of her wishes. Then of course other agencies will get involved. I am also aware that on your local police area's webpage, there is a dv link where you can ask advice of the police in complete confidence.

Might be worth doing that also.

I was very clear that I thought she needed some good advice and support as she was struggling, but that I thought she was trying hard....

What did worry me was the lady on the phone rattled off the childrens names as if they were regulars

I do hope that htey are able to do something to help her and that she sees it as someone caring and not someone interfering

you did right thing.understandably you feel bit rattled. most of all you took decisive stand. so now let ss do an assessment and they determine what to do

"What did worry me was the lady on the phone rattled off the childrens names as if they were regulars"

That's a sign that you're not the first to be so worried, Stoppin. Tis often the way.

Stoppin you have definately done the right thing.
DV gets much worse over Christmas and you may well have stepped in just at the right moment.
This is not just happening to the woman (who may well be too worn down and frightened/confused to act for herself) but also the children who WILL be hearing/witnessing everything.
You have done the only decent thing you could, well done.

How dare men make women...(or indeed vice versa) feel like that, how dare they.

I would so love to go and give that bloke an absolute roasting.....am v angry about it all now, Im glad Ive done what I can, I hope to god the SS lady reads the situation properly and does something.

I can see another late night early morning for me, I cant stop ticking about these kids and about how farking distant, preoccupied, and paranoid this poor woman was...

Well done Stoppin. I have no advice of any use but just wanted to say how proud I am to call you a mate.

Hope everything works out. Well done for caring and acting on your worries.

Thanks Heif x.

I dont feel particularly proud, I feel a bit sick tbh, not because of what Ive done but I just hope it works, otherwise what else can I do. Ive called SS on her behalf before and to no avail.