Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with my husband for going to N.I.

62 replies

BlueCollie · 17/12/2010 21:16

I am so pissed off with my husband GGRRR!! I kept telling him he would get stuck in N.I. and that he wouldn't get home for days due to weather. I pointed out the weather warnings many times. He is only home from Afghanistan for two weeks. I can understand he wanted to see his daughter but think he should have thought about it a bit more in the light of such severe weather warnings. I know I'm being selfish and probably unreasonable but I'm missing him and so is our little boy.

OP posts:
Niceguy2 · 17/12/2010 21:21

YABU

The weather is not a certainty and he wanted to see his daughter. What's wrong with that?

lilyliz · 17/12/2010 21:34

YABU the lst line said it all you miss him,well I bet his daughter does to when he is with you,grow up

KenDoddsDadsDogEatsTinsel · 17/12/2010 21:36

Can he not get back via Dublin? That airport is open. Depending where he is in NI may not be too far.

xstitchsnowscene · 17/12/2010 21:39

I'm sorry but I think YABU. If he had gone on a trip for a booze up or something like that I would have been with you but seeing his daughter is important too. As niceguy said the weather was not a certainty we were forecast bad snow for yesterday but it didn't materialise so the forecasts could have been wrong.

Original poster
BlueCollie · 17/12/2010 21:39

I'm immature for thinking that he should have listened to severe weather warnings?!?!!? So you wouldn't be at all bothered by your partners/husbands being stuck somewhere in these conditions for a few days....shows how much you care about them then!!

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDogEatsTinsel · 17/12/2010 21:42

Er. I tried to help. Stop ranting and try to see if there's anything practical you can do. I would bet the airports will be at least semi operational soon. We were stuck in NI three weeks ago as Newcastle was closed for a while due to similar snow.Only a day extra in the end.

Morloth · 17/12/2010 21:43

Shows how much he cares about his little girl, if he is in the forces and lives with you and DS then I assume they don't see a lot of each other. You and your DS are no more entitled to his time than she is.

YABU

curlymama · 17/12/2010 21:45

I can understand why you are upset, I would be too. It's not about not caring about your husband though, presumably he is safe, he's just not with you. The fact is his dd is just as important as you and your ds, and he did the right thing by going to see her. It is unreasonable of you to expect him not to. Unfortunately this is what you took on when you decideded to marry and have a child with someone in the forces who already has a child elsewhere.

pooka · 17/12/2010 21:46

And if he hadn't gone, when would he have been able to see her before Christmas?

He'll be back soon, look into coming via Dublin for example. Or boat?

curlymama · 17/12/2010 21:46

decideded - really don't know what that word means, sorry!

StewieGriffinsMom · 17/12/2010 21:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

xstitchsnowscene · 17/12/2010 21:52

Who called you immature? I would be upset if DP was stuck somewhere because of weather but in circumstances like you have described I wouldn't be blaming him.

I happen to care very much about DP due to many circumstances outwith our control we spend a lot of time in different ends of the country from each other. I care that he is somewhere safe and off course I miss him but I am comforted as long as he is somewhere safe.

scottishmummy · 17/12/2010 21:59

yabu he cant control weather,hes with daughter so that nice for both of them.unfortunate plenty folk caught up in bad weather

classydiva · 17/12/2010 22:04

It's that bad in Belfast the airports are closed, blizzard conditions could be a good few days if at all if the airports open again before christmas.

Original poster
BlueCollie · 17/12/2010 22:07

I don't begrudge him seeing his daughter. I booked and paid for his flights and hotel so he could go and see her. I used my inheritance money to pay for his court/solicitors fee's so he could get access to his daughter and so I certainly don't think I have more entitlement to see him than her. However, I just think he should have listened to the weather warnings yesterday when he flew out there as the weather was already bad in N.I...that's all I am pissed off about.

OP posts:
lololizzy · 17/12/2010 22:11

sounds like he knew there might be problems but nothing was going to stop him from seeing her. And that shows a decent man and father

PatriciaHolm · 17/12/2010 22:14

But what did you expect him to do? Look at the forecast, say, oh dear I might be stuck for a day or so...I can't go see my daughter? Or, oh dear, I might be stuck, but it's such an important trip, I'm going anyway...

I'd rather be married to the man who made the latter decision, quite frankly. Especially if, as you imply, access to his daughter is hard won.

scottishmummy · 17/12/2010 22:15

given he is time limited,he desperate to see her and no amount of you banging on "ah telt him no to go" makes this easier

instead of getting worked up,you just got to shrug and accept sometimes things go tits up and no one to blame

canyou · 17/12/2010 22:39

Bluecollie, the trains are running and Dublin Airport is operational could he get a flt from there? The weather is not expected to be to bad in Dublin snow wise until tomorrow.

fannybaws · 17/12/2010 23:46

Ferry?

TryLikingClarity · 18/12/2010 07:10

Dublin airport might sound like the magic answer to some people, but may not be practical.

Dublin is around 110 miles from Belfast, which makes it around 113 miles from Belfast's smaller airport and a good 120 miles from its International airport.

OP - I can see why you're feeling the way you do, esp cuz he'll be posted back to Afghanistan soon, and it's around the busy Christmas period. He'll get back to you and your DS sometime in the near future.

NI really is a lovely place.

TLC looks out of her window in outskirts of North Belfast at inches and inches of snow in her garden.

spidookly · 18/12/2010 07:32

Yabvu

saffy85 · 18/12/2010 07:41

YABU. If the boot was on the other foot would any weather warning keep you from seeing your DS? Nothing would stop me from getting to my child.

At least you know your DH will make every effort to see his DD, whatever the cost. That should make you warm and fuzzy not angry and resentful. I feel sorry for you for not being able to see it in any other way but negative.

ItsAHollyJollyTee · 18/12/2010 07:42

Yeah, but TLC it's 2 hours by train and the trains are running!

I have to agree with everyone else. Calm down and be glad you have such a caring father for your little boy. He'll be home before you know it.

watsthestory · 18/12/2010 08:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn