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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a bit of gratitude and not to be told how crap I am and that it's 'D'P's worst birthday ever?

37 replies

Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:37

Bit of background:
P's birthday today.

I've been without a bank card for 6 weeks due to bank's f up, work 3 days a week, have been ill for 2 weeks, am 31 weeks pg and have a poorly 20 month old DD who has had a temp of 38.5 for 7 days and I have been looking after on my own because P has been working away for last 10 days.
Despite this I managed to get him cards from DD and I, some special chocolates that he likes and have organised a babysitter for Saturday all day so we can go to the cinema (first time since DD was born) and booked a Michelin Star restaurant for dinner.
He has moaned about the fact that today hasn't been 'special' - I went to work at his insistence but had to come home as DD's nursery rang saying she was really poorly.
I went out and got him a curry.
He found out about the restaurant booking when he borrowed my phone and complained that it was booked for the evening and changed the booking to another restaurant (!) for lunch even though it was one he's wanted to go to for ages.
I'm pretty fing upset and hurt, not to mention the hormones!
So AIBU to expect a bit more gratitude than this?

OP posts:
SuePurblybiltbyElves · 16/12/2010 21:38

Honestly? He sounds awful. Is he always like that when everything isn't perfect for him?

andchips · 16/12/2010 21:40

He sounds awful. You've planned some nice things for him (and don't know how you've managed it with everything else on your plate)!

He isn't a child, he doesn't need a huge fuss. He should be grateful.

ABird · 16/12/2010 21:41

Are you being unreasonable to be upset by this? Err, NO! What a horrible, ungrateful sounding man.

I would say fuck you then, and take a friend out for dinner at the restaurant you originally booked.

AlistairSim · 16/12/2010 21:41

What the heck was he expecting?

Was this his 18th or 21st?

He sounds a tad high maintenance.

Chatelaine · 16/12/2010 21:41

You need to show him your post. You really do. YANBU, please don't let this fester, get your feelings resolved asap. Best wishes and get some rest.

dinkystinky · 16/12/2010 21:42

He's an idiot. Go t bed and let him sulk on the sofa by himself.

Dansmommy · 16/12/2010 21:42

Yep, he sounds like a knob. If that was my DH, the only thing on his radar would have been that DD was sent home poorly.

Original poster
Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:42

Not usually. He has an issue with birthdays I think. Makes me not want to bother organising anything though!
DD appears to have given him a cold as a gift so that might just be a little bit of karma! :)

OP posts:
curlymama · 16/12/2010 21:43

Shove the chocolates up the ungrateful brats arse.

QuintMissesChristmasesPast · 16/12/2010 21:44

What a spoilt brat he is. He should grow up.
He sounds like a moaning child.

fedupofnamechanging · 16/12/2010 21:44

Agreed. He is being an arse and doesn't deserve even half the effort you've made for him. His primary concern should be the health of his child.

Original poster
Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:45

Ha ha it's good to hear I'm not just reacting hormonally! I feel loads better for offloading on here now so thanks everyone. You're right chatelaine, I'll probably show him a bit later as I'm sure he will realise he's being a knob! :)

OP posts:
bb99 · 16/12/2010 21:46

YANBU!

Gosh if DH did that for me on MY birthday, I might just die from shock at all the loveliness of it!

He only managed a card and supermarket flowers the year I gave him a son!!!! Angry

Agree with curlymama...Smile

bibbitybobbitysantahat · 16/12/2010 21:46

Its pathetic and immature and needy to expect people to make a huge fuss over one's birthday as an adult, imvho.

diddl · 16/12/2010 21:46

Sounds like a spoiled child!

If it´s a weekday my husband usually only gets a card & a cake.

As long as the day is remembered somehow.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 16/12/2010 21:46

He either had really crappy birthdays when he was younger and is trying to make up for it now, or his parents spolit him rotten and that's the benchmark he's measuring your love for him by.

Either way, he needs to unclench a tad.

Original poster
Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:47

Grin @Curlymama I would do but he's bloody eaten them all!

OP posts:
Sidge · 16/12/2010 21:47

He's behaving like a spoiled brat, and an ungrateful rude one at that.

Tell him if he doesn't like what you planned for his birthday then he can shag off and celebrate it alone. You go and see the film on Saturday and leave him to have his lunch alone. And you should eat his chocolates.

Original poster
Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:48

Ah well it is that milestone 33rd birthday you know! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumbybumby · 16/12/2010 21:51

Angelzigzags - I think you might have hit the nail there. Think his birthdays were all pretty crappy as a child but that is no excuse in my eyes!
Think he's feeling a bit guilty now as he just came in like a dog with its tail between its legs and said sorry for being a miserable git and that he needs to lighten up a bit. Am tempted to punish him for a bit but I won't :)

OP posts:
ABird · 16/12/2010 21:52

He's 33?! Shock

Tis about time he grew up then and acted like a man not a spoiled child.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 16/12/2010 21:54

good lord, if my dh got cards, chocolates, babysitter for cinema and special meal booked for my birthday, i would be in tears - of joy!!

you have managed to organise lovely things for him, and he is being utterly ungrateful. tell him so, show him this thread. he needs a good kick up the arse.

hope your DD feels better soon!

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 16/12/2010 21:55

Awww all credit to him for apologising to you.

I think you find it with people who had certain deprivations in childhood, when I see adults who play with childrens toys, Disney/trains/comics, nine times out of ten they've not had a nice childhood and are making up for it.

Sad really.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 16/12/2010 21:56

Sad as in Sad, not they're sad, although I'll make an exception for the saddos who play with bloody train sets in their gardens (like our neighbour) Grin

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 16/12/2010 21:58

what a tit

does he get jealous of his own childrens birthdays ?

sounds the type Xmas Hmm