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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to let my 5 yo do 5.5 hours of gymnastics a week

91 replies

princessparty · 16/12/2010 20:16

plus daily conditioning at home.have had a lecture from my GPs who think I have brainwashed her into it.They say it is too much, she should be enjoying a wider range of interests and that it will ruin her little joints.
She has been doing it for 2 years and wants to do it more and more .She tries other activities and is soon bored with them

OP posts:
Original poster
princessparty · 17/12/2010 13:45

Classy-GP meant grandparents not 'GP'.i think I have confused a few people with that.
Thanks for all your answers i think the best thing I can do now is speak to a physio before I have to pay for next term!

OP posts:
Original poster
princessparty · 17/12/2010 13:47

amber leaf you are joking.You think anyone who takes their kid to a 90 minute gym class is pushy.Didn't your kids do any activities when they were 3 and 4 [shakes head in disbelief]

OP posts:
amberleaf · 17/12/2010 13:50

No im not joking.

When my kids were 3 and 4 i took them to the park, fed the ducks, kicked a ball around, went to sing a longs at the library, played with other children etc you know normal stuff.

my 11 yr old now plays league football and does quite well, nut that wasnt until he decided he wanted to understood the commitment and had been asked to by the school football coach as he showed talent.

amberleaf · 17/12/2010 13:51

excuse typos and grammar

seeker · 17/12/2010 14:09

An hour and a half once a week is fine. 5.5 hours is a ompletely different thing - particularly coupled with the other structured activities.

uggmum · 17/12/2010 14:18

My dc both do gymnastics, they both compete (Wakefield Gym Club, Tumbling Team)

My dd (11) does 9 hours a week and my ds (7) does 6 hours a week, plus 2 hrs dancing and 2 hours of cricket.

My dd also does Trampoline and Gym club at school, 2 hours a week and horse riding, 1 hr per week.

They are both happy, healthy children and enjoy what they do.

As long as they do it because they want to and don't feel pressured then I feel there is nothing wrong with it.

PutOnThePan · 17/12/2010 15:14

Frankly some of the replies on here go some way to explaining why we are a nation of losers.

You can't force a child to do anything they don't want to so I don't think it is too much. Even if she doesn't end up as olympic champion it will teach her self reliance, discipline, commitment and confidence in her own abilities.

Even if you decide it is too much you could always step back a little.

FWIW, DS1 has been doing gym for about 2 years and he is never going to win prizes but he now has strength and co ordination and DN trains for 3 hrs a week (she's 4) AND does ballet AND has recently started piano - the horror! It is all her choice though. They also both do conditioning at home - just 5-10 mins before bed!

Tarenath · 17/12/2010 15:32

I am a former gymnast. At the height of my 'career' I was practicing 12-15 hours a week. I think I was aged about 9-12/13 that I was doing these hours. Plus the sitting in splits in front of the TV etc...

I'm 27 now and don't suffer with joint pains. I'll probably have arthritis when I'm older but it runs in both sides of my family so that's hardly caused by being a gymnast!
I never had an eating disorder. I've always been a little on the small side, but again that's genetic.
So being a gymnast has hardly ruined my body/life like some of the posts on here have implied.

To be honest, if your dd is enjoying it and asks to do it then what's the problem? If she was getting tired and grumpy a lot then I would consider cutting down but some children can cope because they naturally have more energy than others.

Silkstalkings · 17/12/2010 17:58

Princessparty can I repeat my questions from earlier please? Is she your only child? And what do you do for fun?

ISNT · 17/12/2010 18:22

On the one hand I think that if she's enjoying it etc etc then why not. To get to the top of many things you need to start young and work hard - obv if it's coming from the parents that's a different matter.

OTOH I am quite amazed that anyone seriously thinks it is unusual and borderline neglectful (very strong tone in the post) not to put 3 year olds in for 90 minute activity classes. DD1 is 3 and I'm with amberleaf on what "activities" I do with DD. Amazing how different ideas of norms are.

Original poster
princessparty · 17/12/2010 20:48

she has 3 older siblings and I work 30 hours a week so don't have a huge amount of leisure time.I do amateur dramatics,badminton and running.

OP posts:
Original poster
princessparty · 17/12/2010 20:52

'OTOH I am quite amazed that anyone seriously thinks it is unusual and borderline neglectful (very strong tone in the post) not to put 3 year olds in for 90 minute activity classes. '

I think you've got that the wrong way round
can't see where anyone has said that?? They have said it is pushy and borderline abusive to do structured activities with 4 YOs not to not do them.

OP posts:
Santassnowyoldclothcatpuss · 17/12/2010 21:18

I am not a pushy parent. Ive let my dcs dip in qnd out of all sorts of activities over the years I will insist that they give something a good try and not mess about though. My dd took up gymnastics when she was five. She was very good and earned a place on the 'elite' squad. She trained for 3.5 hours, 3 days a week. It was loads, but she was happy to do it, and enjoyed it. When she was six, she became very Ill and was diagnosed with coeliac disease. She kept up her gym as long as she could, but she just couldn't manage it and gave up. I was gutted, she was competing against older kids and was doing well, 2012 was bandied about. But, she gave it up. It's her life.
As long as you follow her lead, you aren't doing anything wrong.

Santassnowyoldclothcatpuss · 17/12/2010 21:25

I must also point out the gymnasts weight was regularly monitored, ( they weren't told their weights). Any child losing weight was encouraged to eat. Any signs of eating disorders (v v rare) were soon spotted and dealt with.

TandB · 17/12/2010 21:46

I dithered over posting on this thread as I had an immediate strong, negative reaction when I read the OP. I started gymnastics at age 4, going once a week. By the age of 6 I was going 3 nights a week. By the age of 9 it turned into "5 sessions a week or not at all." It took another year or so before I finally caved and took the not at all option.

It was something I wanted to do. I desperately wanted to be good at it. Unfortunately, I was never going to be competitive, not least because I had regular operations to correct a serious birth defect on my foot. I was merely competent. My coaches knew it. My parents knew it. The other children on the team knew it. And I knew it. I wish someone had had the sense to tell me that I was wasting a lot of time and setting myself up for a lot of heartbreak. If they had then I might have found something that I actually was good at.

I think gymnastics is one of those things that it is very difficult to do just "for fun". It is a lot of commitment for a 5 year-old and this is one of those rare situations where I would suggest that someone take a very serious look at whether the child is actually going to be good at this and then decide whether to encourage her or actively discourage this interest in favour of something less demanding.

I also have concerns about the impact on a young child's body. Some of the practices that were used when I was doing gymnastics were downright dangerous. This was in the early 80s so hopefully people are more aware of safe stretching etc.

amberleaf · 17/12/2010 21:57

'OTOH I am quite amazed that anyone seriously thinks it is unusual and borderline neglectful

ISNT (very strong tone in the post) not to put 3 year olds in for 90 minute activity classes. '

I think you've got that the wrong way round
can't see where anyone has said that?? They have said it is pushy and borderline abusive to do structured activities with 4 YOs not to not do them.

Didn't your kids do any activities when they were 3 and 4 [shakes head in disbelief]

You said the above to me....

seeker · 18/12/2010 10:08

I think the issue here is that 5 year olds aren't able to make informed choices about stuff like this. So the choice has to be the parents'. And it is very hard to make a decision on behalf of a child when you are being flattered and wooed by a club and people are being amazed by your child's ability.

Santassnowyoldclothcatpuss · 18/12/2010 10:41

But really, at the age of five, isn't it surely more that the child enjoys it and wants to go? My dd loved gym, even three times a week. If she was happy to go then that is all you need to know. If you hav. To drag them there, then you are pushing them!

seeker · 18/12/2010 11:02

I don't think so. Just because children enjoy doing something doesn't mean that they should, or that it's good for them to do it. As I said, a 5 year old cannot make an informed decision. And over 6 hours of training a week is something you need to make an informed decision about.

Silkstalkings · 18/12/2010 12:09

Thanks for your reply Princessparty. Was just worried that it was a PFB thing and you might be losing your own sense of self a bit. Glad to be proved wrong. I think there are people who like to take it easy and people who like to do loads of stuff. You are obviously one of the latter, your DP probably is too so why wouldn't your kids too? Someone's got to do it.

LisaD1 · 18/12/2010 12:14

I did ballet and gymnastics at that age and spent hours practicing, had an awesome time.. until I had an accident aged 10 (not related) and could not train for over a year. Because I had spent so long doing nothing but ballet and gym I had removed myself from other activities/friends and it was a tough year trying to fit in with other things.

If it were my dd i wouuld be happy with the amount of time but would really try to encourage other activities too, just to keep a balance of activities/friends.

DilysPrice · 18/12/2010 12:27

I don't like the idea but that's because I know only one child gymnast and she was severely mentally and physically screwed up.

Obviously there are some child gymnasts who will grow up to win gold medals (or Strictly Come Dancing to be topical), and some who will grow up to be normal healthy fit adults, and some who will suffer some degree of permanent damage. The problem is that none of us seem to know the probabilities of each outcome.

jacquiel · 18/12/2010 14:50

yanbu
take a look on this gymnastics parent forum and ask about it there
www.chalkbucket.com

proudfoot · 18/12/2010 17:32

YANBU. I think if she is naturally very active and full of energy, and most importantly enjoys it and wants to go, then I don't see what the problem is.

amijee · 18/12/2010 23:03

This is an interesting thread.

My 4 yr old ds has just started going for an hour after school twice a week because he is considered to "have talent". I have chatted with some mums who have kids that are as young as 5 or 6 and they do 7-8 hrs a week which really concerned me.

I am really reluctant to push any more than he is doing already as I am much more academically focussed and I think it will interfere with his school work etc.

My other great fear is that I have a 2 year old dd who is a natural born dancer and is even more talented IMO adn I would find it harder to say no to her.

I have no desires for any of them to be professional sports people so I really can't see the point of doing so much training.

As for whether it's a child's choice - I think that's rubbish. Not many kids are running to their french or piano lessons but parents still send them to these things as it's very good for their overall development. Similarly, we don't let kids play on computer games all day long just because they want to.

I know that if everyone had my attitude we would not produce any olympic gymnasts etc but I am just keen for my kids to do it as a hobby and for fitness rather thsn anything more.