Should I thank my DH for changing nappies?

[firefliesinjune]

Brief background

I am SAHM with 2.9 year DS and DD who is 7 months. DH works 24 hours a week. I do bulk of housework and stuff with children.

I am shattered and have asked DH many times I need more help with everything.

Today whilst we were out he said

"Oh I will start to do half of DDs nappy changes once my back is better"

(he has had a bad back for 2 weeks) and in all of DDs life has changed about 5 nappies.

I said "great" thinking well yes its about time.

He then went off on one saying "you could say thankyou."

I explained it was OUR job to change her nappies - he does not thank me when I change her nappies why should I be thanking him? He then said I should be more gracious and stomped off.

Am I being a cow? Should I have said thanks? Have no clue if IABU?

YANBU

Does he thank you every time you change a nappy?

I dont think so!

does he want a medal as well?!

He works 24 hrs and doesnt help ? what does he do ??

YANBU - He only works part time himself - what does he do when he is not working?
Whoever is around when the nappy needs changing should change it!
Just like everything else round the place - shared life, shared responsibilities.

He's being an idiot, sorry.

And 'once my back is better' is never going to happen, or it will once your child is out of nappies.

if you have a changing table his back doesn't matter, you could lift and he could change - it's a cop out don't stand for it.

I am quietly chuckling. DH changed about 15 of DD's nappies. Each one would have a commentary about how many wipes it needed. for especially messy solids he would shout 'kreech, it's a 15er'. He really thought he deserved a medal. To be fair to him, he did and still does work ridiculous hours and is a great Dad.
YANBU, but men are different to women.

When i read the title i was going to post 'No dont as that would be a tad patronising'

Now im thinking hes lucky he doesnt get a sh1tty nappy on his head.

I think if he did work full time it woul dbe different, but he doesn't.

And yes men and women are different ,men have willies and women have pussies. Men can still do a bloody nappy change.

yanbu but me being me would say in his hearing thank you for changing my nappy mummy! well past the time he has got the message

In our house we thank each other.

yanbu. If he wants a set up where he gets appreciation for every little thing he does for dcs, fine, but then he has to show you the same appreciation.

YANBU I would depost all used nappies in his pants drawer until he starts thanking for all nappy changes. Did he thank you for giving birth to his child?

make him a chufty badge

here's a nice one

DP works stupid hours yet still changes nappies at the weekends! Oh and i don't thank him for it!

Leave him with the kids while you go out and when you come back, if he has changed the nappies and done all that is necessary, then say thank you.

You can then ask him to say thank you to you when you do the same when he is out

If my DH said this then I'd hand him every dirty nappy from now and say "Where's my thank you then?"

Where on god's green earth do men get the notion that once they've ejaculated that's their side of parenting done with and they must be thanked for any other bit of effort they put in???

He works 24 hours a week? So effectively 3 days @ 8 hours per day. So what does he do with the other 4 days a week when he doesn't do paid work if you do the majority of housework/childcare?

I have a 3 year old and 8 month old. It is bloody hard work.

Tell him to get to the doctor's to get his back checked out if it's causing him so much pain that he can't change a nappy. DH was suffering with back pain for months. Turned out he has cancer and a tumour was pressing against his spinal cord. He can still change a fucking nappy (and not expect any thanks for it).

YANBU.

Spot on,WriterofDreams!!

YANBU

DP and I thank each other for everything (he works FT but will even thank me for doing his washing). Its just a way of acknowledging each other's efforts and making sure you're not taking the other person for granted.

YANBU though- if he doesn't thank you for your efforts then why should he be thanked by you? It sounds like your DH thinks he's doing you a special favour when actually he'd only be doing his duty!

YANBU, unless he thanks you for the ones you change.

WHAT?????

If it was a middle-of-the-night-leaked-everywhere-needs-a-bath-pooey-nappy that might warrant a thank you.

But an everyday nappy is a non-event. Whoever has the baby at the time changes the baby. End of story.

my dh works 60 hours minimum every week, i do the majority of housework but he washes up the pots and does 70% of childcare when hes home because he WANTS too, when he has a day of he takes baby for a walk while i have a lie in and usually bathes him and gives him breakfast! changing a nappy isnt back breaking work thell him to grow up!

I think it's polite to thank my DH when he changes DD's nappy. He doesn't thank me, but hey, that doesn't mean I should be rude as well, does it?

I think everyone should always thank each other for everything they do for each other, it's just common courtesy IMO