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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

If you say you are picking up at latest at 6.30 - don't pick your children up at 6.45

39 replies

swanriver · 16/12/2010 10:38

I offered to look after a friend's two kids after school so that she could go take her eldest child somewhere and go onto to non-workrelated meeting. Not quite a playdate, but a nice chance to do her a favour, and my kids enjoy the company. She said she would pick up at 6.30 at verylatest because she needed to go on somewhere else in good time. I had her two children fed, coated, shod, and ready for 6.30 in the hall, to make life easier for her. Then she doesn't arrive. Not for any particular reason. She doesn't ring to warn me she is running late, say at 6pm. At the worst possible time of day I have to stand in hall with her anxious children, whilst my children are running amok and need to wind down, and she waltzes in 15 mins later
AIBU that you should not have to keep other people's kids past 6.15 or 6.30 unless it is a properly arranged playdate, not something agreed that morning....
It isn't just a one-off btw - she is someone who is always trying to fit too much in. I just feel cross that she made me feel stressed and muddled to fit in with her super-organisation.

OP posts:

tomhardyismydh · 16/12/2010 10:40

NorwegianMoon · 16/12/2010 10:41

yabu, it was 15 mins. if you are not prepared for a few mins late you should have said pick up at 6pm

englandsmistress · 16/12/2010 10:41

Your friend probably didnt realise that the kids would be ready and wiating in the hallway. As nice of you as it was to get them ready maybe it's not the best idea because then the kids are aware that mum is late and it worries them.

It seems you are just a lot more organised than she is.

I'm pretty organised and 15 minutes would be lost in my house around that time of day! They'd still be playing at 6.45 when she arrived and I'd have no clue of the time!

I dont think she's rude, I just think you are different people.

mrsmindcontrol · 16/12/2010 10:43

get a fucking grip

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 16/12/2010 10:44

I think it was you who made her DC anxious making them stand about in your hall.

She was 15 mins late, hardly worthy of a

If you know she's like this why did you agree to have them, and why did you make her DC feel it was their fault?

doggiesayswoof · 16/12/2010 10:44

"She waltzes in"

Or more likely rushes in feeling harassed after sitting in traffic and looking at the clock thinking "oh fuck I'm late"

Have you never been there OP?

Don't take her kids next time if t's such a big deal. I don't personally see why you are making usch a thing of 15 mins. I could understand your POV if she had been an hour late.

YABU

Animation · 16/12/2010 10:44

No biggie. Chill.

doggiesayswoof · 16/12/2010 10:46

Yes why on earth did you have the kids standing there with shoes and coats on? No wonder they were anxious. They probably realised how badly you wanted rid of them.

sowhatis · 16/12/2010 10:48

YABU. Really, there are far more important things to worry about.

monkeyflippers · 16/12/2010 10:48

It was only 15 minutes which to a lot of people is nothing! Who is ever THAT on time!?

Original poster

swanriver · 16/12/2010 10:48

No she said she wouldn't get back till 6.30 but it wouldn't be any later than that..because she needed to be somewhere else on time. Usually I wouldn't even have bothered to get visiting kids ready, and she would have had to sort out their hats and coats shoes etc. Children would have been at top of house playing a game and it would have taken us atleast 20 mins to extract them...
I think I'll do that next time...be as disorganised as possible and have them covered in paint...

Sorry, I think Christmas stress is getting to me!!!

OP posts:

PadmeHum · 16/12/2010 10:48

I would probably feel like that if she were mmmm... errrr 3 hours late.

It just 15 minutes, not worth getting so worked up.

Sarsaparilllla · 16/12/2010 10:50

Not a massive deal whatsoever, it's only 15 mins

kreecherlivesupstairs · 16/12/2010 10:54

I think you can stop laying into the OP, she's realised she WBU. Doesn't happen a lot.

Original poster

swanriver · 16/12/2010 10:55

They were anxious because they were late for something. Elder told me he needed to be There at 6.30 when I asked him when he thought his mum was coming to collect him to go on to next thing! I sat with them in living room anyway, they weren't in the hall, and entertained them for 15 mins in th emiddle of doing countless other things to do with secret santas, washing up, projects, trying to turn off telly. 6.30 is a BAD TIME in our house. Isn't it in most people's?

OP posts:

Original poster

swanriver · 16/12/2010 10:56

oh dear, I'll get it out of my system eventually...they are nice children, very polite...just she is always always late and will never admit she is going to be ...and it is never never her fault....

OP posts:

Animation · 16/12/2010 10:58

Swanriver - probably is Christmas stress.

Let it drop and enjoy your day - or you'll end up worrying about this thread next.

mrsruffallo · 16/12/2010 10:58

Goodness me, it was only 15 minutes!
I think you are going to struggle with having any children over if you are such a stickler for timekeeping.

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 16/12/2010 11:01

I bet if you hadn't got them all ready for 6.30 they wouldn't have been anxious - you got them ready - even if you took them into the living room and entertained them for those 15 minutes they'll have known that they were waiting.

englandsmistress · 16/12/2010 11:02

It's actually quite enlightening sometimes when you get a unanimous YABU!
You can let it go and move on with your life.

Happy Christmas OP and don't get stressed... you'll be full of turkey and mulled wine in a few days with absolutely no comprehension of the time!

SerendipityAlways · 16/12/2010 11:02

15 mins late is not a big deal, especially at this time of year when we are all rushing about like mad women!

I wouldn't even bat an eye lid if someone was 15 mins late to collect their kids from my home, its not a big issue, things happen, delays happen, sometimes outside of our control, and I'm generally a very organised person!!

I'm sure your friend felt really bad when she arrived - especially when she saw her kids waiting in the hall all packed up and ready to go!

Don't sweat the small stuff!

Imisssleeping · 16/12/2010 11:02

Swanriver yanbu

I think you've realised your mistake was getting them dressed, even though you were trying to be helpful.
Then you were well aware she was 15mins late, if you'd just carried on doing your thing then you probably wouldn't have realised the time.

You don't deserve the flaming you are getting but it is aibu so to be expected !

BaroqinAroundTheChristmasTree · 16/12/2010 11:03

6.30 is so stressful in my house I wouldn't even notice the time

Imisssleeping · 16/12/2010 11:04

sorry englandsmistress I just upset the status quo there !
ok yabu !

Original poster

swanriver · 16/12/2010 11:06

I have children over to play all the time. My eldest is 10.
Sometimes three hours can be enough, especially when one of the visiting children is little and requires quite a lot of tlc.

OP posts:

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