to have let my toddler spend most of today watching TV?...

[makemineamojito]

It's so blinking freezing at the moment and we didn't have anything in particular to do today so we stayed in all day. There's one programme that my DS loves and he's watched it over and over again. I've watched with him but also got quite a lot of chores done...now I'm feeling guilty that he's spending too much time in front of the TV!

My not quite five year old loves American Hotrod, Top Gear and any of those Police Chase Stop things, most of which are fortunately bleeped! Do I win shit mummy of the year yet?!

Ms Kalo you have referred to lots of studies that prove TV is bad but have not linked to one of them.

The one link someone has provided (NHS In The News website) says it's a lot more complicated than lots of TV viewing causes poor outcomes in education and health.

What BaggedandTagged and Santa have said is right. High tv viewing is associated with problems in school and work but once the full socio-economic context is factored for, it becomes a lot more complicated.

Children from disadvantaged backgrounds tend to watch more TV. TV is often the safest and cheapest form of entertainment and cultural interaction available. How is TV the CAUSE of the problems? That has yet to be demonstrated.

TV is "wrong"? Wow, another stick to beat ourselves with, as if we didn't have enough! Surely anything that teaches children about the world and gives them language input is going to have something of a positive impact? Of course a child shouldn't be sat in front of a tv all day every day as that would mean he/she would lose out on social interaction which would stunt their emotional development. But even in that case, quality children's tv would have a positive impact on their language. One day of tv out of the 3,650 that they live through before they're 10 will have absolutely no impact at all, negative or positive. Once a child is in school he/she spends 5 hours a day receiving information and learning. That's plenty I think (I'm a teacher). A bit of time out to just be entertained is really not going to do any child any harm.

My DD watches about 15 minutes in the morning whilst I finish getting ready, and then when she returns from school, she has about another 45mins to 1hr, broken up. She often needs this time after school, as she is tired, and needs a bit of down time. At weekends we are more relaxed about this. I have definately allowed her to have more than this when I'm ill, or she's ill, or we're in due to bad weather, or quite frankly, when I'm knackered and can't be arsed! I agree with writerofDreams - there's enough we have to beat ourselves up about these days, and we can't seem to do anything without some bit of research telling us that we're permanently damaging our kids. As long as they are well loved, have realistic boundaries for various aspects of their lives (what they eat, schoolwork, behaviour), then we're doing a good job. I am not a stepford wife/perfect mother....who is?

Some people really worry about this? Really? Our TV is on LOTS. And I mean Lots. But my 6 yr old is extremely bright and articulate, loves reading and riding her bike, etc. Get over it!

Somewhere along the line the idea that tv is evil crept into the middle-class conscience. I'm sure if someone said it was "wrong" and you sat them down and asked them why exactly they wouldn't really be able to give you a good answer.

If a child is never talked to, hugged or interacted with he or she will be damaged. Whether he or she is watching tv while this neglect is going on is irrelevant. In fact the effect of the neglect will probably be somewhat lessened by the artificial interaction that tv provides.

Well I've been ill for the last three weeks and on the days I haven't been able to farm poor dd out to various relatives, cbeebies has been on all day every day. Not much else I can do when I'm lying shivering and sweating on the sofa. She plays while she's watching it and is extremely bright and articulate. But the tv has been on a hell of a lot. So shoot me.

Honestly RockinRobin I find it sad that you feel you have to defend yourself for trying to entertain your dd as best you can while you're sick. You have nothing to feel guilty about or to be "shot" over. Why would it be better if you turned the tv off and let the poor child just sit there and watch you be sick?

Look at it this way - without TV my son would never have:

learned Makaton signing
Identify on sight all the Thomas the Tank Engine trains
Watched lions, tigers and monkeys in the wild
Have a large vocabulary because of things seen on TV that he would never encounter IRL
Know a wide range of songs and chants
Form a strange passion for football (something neither DH or I have)

YY TOn

Also, the ASD / adhd kids the study that referred to were watching TV a lot- quite possibly becuase of behaviour managemnt / obsessive (there's a very strong argument that removing obsessive element entirely fom an asd child is cruel), lack of access elsewhere (parks etc often being off limits), parental exhaustion, far higher risk opf familial povety due to the disability..... basically no causation was established at all.

There was a leaflet produced by Tanya Byron in conjunction with MN all about tv (was part of the consultation group) but don;t know if still accessible on site. It did refute the asd stuff, and stated clearly that moderated watching of appropriate tv is not considered harmful.

This is my big guilt thing. DS (2.5) watches telly first thing for about 30 mins - 1 hour as like all of us in our house he's a slow waker, and then the same again after he's had his tea, so can be as much as 2 hours a day. But he does SO MUCH other stuff besides, and it's pretty much only Cbeebies he watches, and he really does focus on it and talk about it and seem to get something out of it.

And a couple of times when he's been poorly and not wanted to do anything else he's had it on for hours, but if I was feeling rubbish that's what I'd want too.

I do believe it's not great for it to be on too much and I do feel guilty, but also I think the research is not yet useful enough. There surely MUST be a difference between watching Something Special or Postman Pat to just watching random frenetic rubbish? Or am I just self-justifying?

Agree Santa, without wishing to dilute your argument, a lot also applies to children who are very poor (no access to safe, decent outdoor play areas for example).

I had a wider rant - but I deleted it

DS (2.1) likes having the TV on in the background (Thomas or Balamory DVDs, generally) while he plays with his toys in the living room. Is that better or worse than if he was sitting in his chair staring at it? I'm not sure, better I think.

It's on a lot, and more now it's winter and we can't go out so much, but we go to the park or shops every day, and he's at nursery three days a week where there's no TV. He gets lots of cuddles and kisses and is talked to lots, and he loves books (both being read them and looking through them himself reciting bits from memory). His talking is as expected for his age. He seems to be coping fine.

Well tinier if you think about it logically, what harm could tv do to your ds?

Being stuck in with A SICK CHILD TODAY, i;D ACTUALLY QUITE LIKE TO KNOW HOW ON EARTH YOU GET YOUR TODDLER TO WATCH tv FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE . i HAVE CAKES TO MARZIPAN, TEACHER GIFTS TO COMPLETE, A HOUSE TO TIDY AND PACKING TO START.....

Apols for caps; errant toddler banging cake tins and making my ehad implode

Well. That's what I don't know. The impression that I get is that it's to do with attention span etc. Then there was some gubbins about potential impairment of neural circuit formation or something...

But I don't feel like it's harmful for him in the 'he should be doing something else instead' way, because we do do lots of other stuff and he's very active. He just seems to like a break and a slump in front of Octonauts or whatever. It's more 'is there something actively bad about telly?' for me.

Obviously I can't measure it against myself as we didn't have daytime telly back in the day when I was that age.

'Well tinier if you think about it logically, what harm could tv do to your ds?'

I take it you have never watched 'poltergeist'?

Everything in moderation I think. We do have Cbeebies on a lot when we are at home, DS(2.11) has definite likes & dislikes, and I encourage him to interact - he sings along to some of the theme tunes to his favourite shows, and he asks me questions or I ask him questions about what we see. And he talks to me about it afterwards. Apparently his speech is quite advanced as well.

I suffer from migraines and have also had horrendous morning sickness (which has passed now) and Cbeebies & the DVD player has been an utter life saver while I have been vegging out on the sofa like death warmed up!

Watching too much telly, is not a good thing.

Whilst a child watches it they are static.
They are not actively using their imagination.
They are not communicating with anyone.
They are often being bombarded with images that are designed to influence.

However the odd day spent in front of the box when ill or whatever, will have no lasting impact on a child whatsoever.
And I would not feel remotely guilty (remembers DD watching It's Complicated twice on a plane journey ).

What I do watch out for though, is how easy it is to increase screen watching wihtout noticing. One hour becomes two. Two becomes three.
I always try to keep an eye on it.

of course it's not good but that's not stopping me having it on all day atm DH is away and me and the DSs have flu, when we're recovered I'll be back to my mean self and hardly have it on for them!

I'm sure one day isn't going to harm him, I've got friends who have theirs on all day every day, which is definitely wrong imo!!

How old is your DC mine are 5 and 3 and love a few nature programmes

Have to say TV can be a lifesaver when you have three kids in a two bed flat.

I think it's fine in moderation. Last week they played in the snow but got so cold that we invited some friends over and they spent a few hours watching DvDs. I think the sense of watching and enjoying toegther is hugely enjoyable.

In fact I have fond memories of watching TV withe friends as a child. And with my parents. It is an excellent shared experience.

Mine watch Milkshake on Saturday/ Sunday and love it.

ANd sometimes when mine are poorly it's all they are able to do.

Well put litchick!

OP: YANBU

Obviously if a child is watching upsetting imagery then that could be harmful. And sitting in front of the tv all day every day is definitely harmful as they are not interacting with other people or getting any exercise.

BUT if a child is normally quite active and does get interaction from others an hour or two of tv a day isn't going to do any harm at all. There's no way that watching something on a screen could harm neural circuitry, that would be a major medical breakthrough that we would all know about if it could!

On a somewhat related note I wish the child I teach would watch more tv as their parents tend to speak their native languages at home (they are from Indian, Pakistani, Afghani, Somalian and Polish families). Because they don't speak English at home and watch very little tv they lack colloquial English and have very little understanding of turns of phrase, jokes, puns, and general British culture. Unfortunately the SATs assume an extensive knowledge of all these things and the children are very disadvantaged, not due to lack of skills but because they don't know the names of bands and they don't know what phrases like "it's dead cool" mean. It's ridiculous when you think about it, but a few hours of tv watching every night would greatly improve academic performance for a lot of these children.

Writer - actually that's something Ann Cryer (former MP) said to me at work once and it stayed with me. She said satellite TV had a real down side because it used to be the case that children before school had at least heard English because they had the telly / radio on in the background and their brains were piecing it together even though they weren't aware of it. But these days, she said, children can start school with English being a completely closed book.