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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have let my toddler spend most of today watching TV?...

90 replies

makemineamojito · 15/12/2010 23:07

It's so blinking freezing at the moment and we didn't have anything in particular to do today so we stayed in all day. There's one programme that my DS loves and he's watched it over and over again. I've watched with him but also got quite a lot of chores done...now I'm feeling guilty that he's spending too much time in front of the TV!

OP posts:
OnEdge · 16/12/2010 05:06

Exactly how can it be "bad" for them ?

Who says ? And how do they know ?

BaggedandTagged · 16/12/2010 05:27

I dont think it's that TV is pro-actively "bad", just that because it's largely passive, if kids spend all day watching TV then by default they're not doing interactive things which are positively "good" IYSWIM, like reading/ being read to, playing, etc.

But one day's not going to kill anybody.

Also, the issue with TV watching is that, like most social/behavioural things, it is very hard to isolate the impact from other things in the child's background/upbringing.

Prolonged and frequent bouts of TV watching/ TV on all day tends to be more common in homes where parents have a lower socioeconomic/ educational status, and children from that background tend to have lower attainment in school than children from backgrounds where (eg) both parents have University education. Therefore to say that TV leads to the lower attainment isnt necessarily correct- they just correlate.

MickyLee · 16/12/2010 05:54

My DD learned to speak much nicer than me through Charlie and Lola Grin

We have to tv on first thing for an hour while I put washing on, empty dishwasher, MN, Cook breakfast etc.
Then it goes back o for an hour around 4ish while I prepare dinner.
So 2 hours a day in this house. Sometimes if one of the DC is poorly then upto 4 hours.

I don't tend to watch tv. Live overseas and don't understand it but usually get a DVD a couple of times a week for me time.

Yanbu for one day. You can't be a perfect mother all the time you know Grin

WHen DS was a newborn, he had terrible colic. We were living in the middle of nowhere and did not have a car. DH worked 12 hour days. For around 2 months DD watched tv all day. I was not coping very well with DS in painful cries every waking hour and all on my own, not ever leaving the house. Dark times for me. TV saved my life!!! DD survived :)

nutcrackerneepsntinseltatties · 16/12/2010 06:17

I had a few days like this when we were snowed in the other week. Am 34 weeks pregnant and feel rubbish so it was a life saver! Even ds got fed up of painting and gluing and sticking so octonaughts it was!

MsKalo · 16/12/2010 06:36

No snowyweather, what you do is not wrong at all. But having a tv on ALL DAY is wrong - how anyone can think that is ok is beyond me.

Longtinsellyjosie · 16/12/2010 06:40

It all depends (in my view) what the telly-watching is substituting.

You're washing up after breakfast. You put CBeebies on. I think it's pretty clear that until recently (ie from our parents' generation to ours) there was a tacit understanding the housework had to be done and if the baby cried, so be it. That's unpleasant and stressful for small children, so watching Octonauts instead has got to be a better deal for them.

MsKalo · 16/12/2010 06:41

Onedege - have you really never read any of the studies done about kids who watch too much telly? There have been plenty and I am sure s root around the Internet will reveal some. Baggedandtagged raised some good points about it bring actively passive. My eldest does watch some tv but to have it on all day would not do him any good. It becomes xn electronic babysitter then

Runoutofideas · 16/12/2010 06:48

I realised yesterday that my dd (3) was watching too much telly as, while playing with her dolls and chatting to them, she came out with "mmmmm, new car boys?" "I washed it with Febreze" !!!Blush

Longtinsellyjosie · 16/12/2010 06:49

Runout - it's more that you watch too much commercial TV. Have you never heard of CBeebies?!

Runoutofideas · 16/12/2010 06:53

She has discovered the joys of the remote control and switches channels herself!

SantasMooningArse · 16/12/2010 06:55

We have days like that, in fact we'll have one today as I have essays, wrapping, icing, packing, washing and a sick older child (and toddler looking a little off colour too)

It does them good on ocasion to just 'be'. of course ther are toys alla round and if he comes to me wanting to sing or read that'll happen too.

It's not ideal but neither would be letting everything else go undone. Tomorrrow he'll be back t normal and then Monday we're off for ten days in teh forest, so exercise and learning in abundance.

SantasMooningArse · 16/12/2010 06:57

MsK the research is about kids who watch too much TV day after day, and the stuff about ADHD / ASD was widely discounted at the time as failing to show claimed causality. It's certainly not research acepted in my field (ASD). But scary if you don;t now that.

Fiddledee · 16/12/2010 07:02

We all have the flu we are on day 3 of constant tv even eldest pre-schooler bored with it but I'm so ill and with no help I can just about channel hop without passing out. Sometimes needs must.

violethill · 16/12/2010 07:08

I would have been bored shitless, but I guess as a one off its not going to do any harm. As you have a child who is clearly happy with watching something repetitively all day, I would take extra care to limit tv normally though. Some kids would never want to watch all day, but if you have a child who does, regulation becomes even more important

MsKalo · 16/12/2010 07:23

I am on about kids who watch tv day after day - it's scary if you don't realise that Santa

I didn't realise I was up against such an expert

MsKalo · 16/12/2010 07:25

Good point violethill!

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 16/12/2010 09:01

You are the only one out about it then, MsKalo.
Everyone else is saying they ordinarily ration it.

emy72 · 16/12/2010 09:09

Ah all my kids except for my first have had periods of times like this, especially in the winter.

I think it's fine, as long as it's counterbalanced long term.

My eldest two are at school now and they never watch TV. They have loads of activities/interests they want to pursue when they get home, and TV is not one of them.

SantasMooningArse · 16/12/2010 09:17

MrsK am doing an MA in ASd so I do know my ASD research, yes. So you can quit the sarcasm.

And I said as a once off it's not an issue. I don't beleive it is, and as it happens my kids generally (severely autistic ds3 excepted) wouldn;t sit all day watching TV anyhow; they'd be crafting or writng books.

But when ill TV / DVDs are a saviour, and as an occasional duvet day likewise. There's so many positive things about a cold day snuggled up in front whatever is suitable for the age group, enjoying the time together. Indeed, with 4 active boys I often Envy at friend's FB status posts about doing just that; mine'dd wander off after thirty minutes (ds3 not but that in no way equates to him being 'present' in any form either)

MrsTumbles · 16/12/2010 10:04

My DD (2.3) can clearly count to 10 thanks to 'Show me - show me' and uses 'sign language' with some words which is down to 'Something special'. She enjoys doing 'yoga' with me, which is a Waybaloo thing...

You have to be careful with all studies as there are very few that are objective, most start out to prove a point. I don't think anyone would say that keeping a child in all day, everyday in front of the TV is good for their development, however in moderation (which can include the odd few TV days) there is nothing wrong with TV, and can help with expanding a childs 'world'

I am lucky that I can make sure I get out with my DD every day and do my best to show her the 'real' world, as well as her being really interested in books to help with imagination. But I also know that Millions are spent on channels like Cbeebies to make them educational (without children realising it Xmas Grin) And yes, some of them are just for fun, and why not (Gigglebiz, I love you)

(Just on another note, my parents used the TV as an electronic Babysitter for me and my speech development was fine, hey my speech is so good I'm one of those 'annoying' voices that tells you to press one/two/three for different services where I work Xmas Wink)

DrSeuss · 16/12/2010 10:49

One day will do him no harm. Presumably the show in question is something like Bob the Builder, not Hot Hookers or that strange thing on Rabbit where you can ring in and the women take their clothes off?! And Cbeebies stuff is very educational in the main. Don't worry, you haven't scuppered his chances at Oxbridge just yet!

NorwegianMoon · 16/12/2010 10:53

yanbu, we all do it. no one will die

ballstoit · 16/12/2010 11:03

YANBU. My guess is that if he was a child that watched TV all day every day then you wouldnt have come on here and asked the question Confused.

For the sake of my sanity, we have occasional days when they watch the TV most of the day. Clearly if I was a super mummy like MsKalo I would be singing nursery rhymes while helping with craft projects and cleaning the floor with the mop stuck up my backside.

Sadly, my DC have a single mum who is also human. Who has 5 DC, is in final year of her degree and has limited help from family.

It's shocking that they are growing up into bright, sociable people, with all those brain cells they've killed Grin.

ballstoit · 16/12/2010 11:05

Grin at Dr Seuss, hot hookers is a biology documentary isnt it?!

bupcakesandcunting · 16/12/2010 11:07

My DS loves Harry Hill's TV Burp at the minute. He is only 3 Blush I've taken to letting him watch it on catch-up so I can get stuff done. He has now taken to telling ladies in the street that they look like Wagbo :(

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