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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Calling all drivers AIBU

58 replies

reinitindear · 15/12/2010 20:27

Am not a driver myself so genuinely do not know if IABU.My exh is due to pick DD up for her Christmas stay on Friday but DD may be in the final of a competition on Monday we won't find out till Friday pm if she is or not.He was intending on driving down with his wife on Friday. He is now saying that they can't come on Saturday morning (as suggested if DD doesn't make the final) as he would have to do the 7 hour round journey as this is too long a drive not to share? ( he is a driving instructor by trade)and she will have to wait till Monday.AIBU to think he could drive on his own without being a danger?

OP posts:
Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 20:45

Tinsel I could never insist he did anything he would take no notice anyway Smile I have learnt I was being unreasonable thank you all for replying to my boring problem.

OP posts:
NellieForbush · 15/12/2010 20:47

Weather permitting I think this is fine assuming he is allowed to stop and have a break (even a snooze) when he gets to you (or at a service station nearby). It is a long drive but manageable.

create · 15/12/2010 20:48

I wouldn't want someone driving my DC who's been on the road for 6-7 hours in one day

anonymosity · 15/12/2010 20:49

YABU

agedknees · 15/12/2010 20:53

Heavy snow forecast for Saturday, so drive will take much longer then 7 hours.

Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 21:20

Thank you again for your replies IABU I needed some qualified opinions.

OP posts:
borderslass · 15/12/2010 21:24

I have done it when visiting family but I usually have a couple of hours sleep before the return journey.

JaneS · 15/12/2010 21:29

Hope you and he manage to sort things out, rein. Best of luck to your DD! Smile

SkyBluePearl · 15/12/2010 21:35

7 hours is too long to drive on your own in one day. Too dangerous.

TinselInDisgrace · 15/12/2010 22:23

He is being unreasonable for refusing to use the train, though. I say this as a train hater/refuser. I get travel sick on trains (especially if they tilt) so I'd almost always choose to drive instead.

WowOoo · 15/12/2010 22:26

I do 9 hour drives regularly. With two kids in the car.

I start very early and take lots and lots of breaks.
Pretty normal for me.

xstitchsnowscene · 15/12/2010 22:33

I've driven that far in one day on my own regularly. Need lots of stops though. If the weather forecast turns out to be true then it would take a lot longer.

Mermaidspam · 15/12/2010 23:02

I would drive 24 hours in one day to see my daughter.

7 hours is piss easy.

Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 23:08

well that was my kind of reasoning mermaid but as I don't drive wanted to know if it was practical. From the majority of the replies it seems not.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 15/12/2010 23:12

Mermaidspoon - you might very unlikely drive 24 hrs in a day to see your daughter, but would you be happy to have your daughter get in the car with someone who had been driving for a long time and was tired?

Risking yourself (and all the other drivers and passengers on the road) is different to risking your daughter.

TrillianAstra · 15/12/2010 23:13

*spam, not spoon.

No idea why I wrote spoon. Not as if it makes sense Grin

Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 23:15

I would like a mermaid spoon though Smile

OP posts:
KalokiMallow · 15/12/2010 23:18

"I would drive 24 hours in one day to see my daughter."

Maybe, but what would your concentration be like? Mine would be shit. I'd definitely be a danger on the roads.

musicposy · 15/12/2010 23:18

If you value the safety of your DD, which I am sure you do, I absolutely wouldn't want him to be doing this. The big killers behind the wheel are tiredness and boredom, and he will be both of these on such a long trip.

I'm not saying it's not doable - I've done long trips myself before - but for safety he would need to make frequent decent length stops, dragging the journey out to a ridiculously long time, and even then his concentration wouldn't be what it should.

I do a fair bit of driving, with a fair few relatively long journeys, but you have to remember that long journeys are always potentially more dangerous, and especially at this time of year when the roads are icy and it is dark for so much of the day. I think he should always be doing this journey at a time when his wife can help with the driving. It's very different being a driver to a passenger - you have to be so 100% alert the whole time.

Think of your DD's safety and let her wait until Monday.

hobbgoblin · 15/12/2010 23:21

I have driven many hours more because of necessity. However, it is a strain. Anything over 4 or 5 hours is very taxing imo.

Was going to add that if DC in car for the last leg of the journey then I would really worry for their safety but then thought that actually everybody's safety is compromised by risky tired driving. That is, everyone else on the road and the children's father.

Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 23:25

thank you music it's just that he only sees her 3 times a year as it is, his choice as the drive is too long. I guess I just wanted her to have as long as possible with him as you say being a passenger is different and as I can't drive wanted to ask.

OP posts:
musicposy · 15/12/2010 23:29

Could he keep her longer at the end of the break or is that not possible?

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 15/12/2010 23:37

7 hours is NOT piss easy

I drove 6 hours to North Wales on my own last July, I stopped off half way, but it was still; a real slog.

I would not like to have to do that journey in the dark, not with ice and snow a potential...

Original poster
reinitindear · 15/12/2010 23:37

not possible as he going on holiday on boxing day and needs to be at the airport early

OP posts:
LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 15/12/2010 23:38

rogue semi colon there... coming out in sympathy with OPs missing colon.. Xmas Grin