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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not want to collect parcels for neighbours?

67 replies

oranges · 15/12/2010 17:43

What's the etiquette on this? I'm at home on maternity leave and being driven nuts by delivery men ringing to ask if they can leave parcels for neighbours. They wake the baby, and then get woken again when the neighbours come round to collect. I take parcels from the house right next door as I know them, we chat and every now and then they appear with cakes for us. But I've started refusing houses further down as I have no idea who lives there, and I really cant be bothered finding a safe place to keep bulky parcels out of the children's way. One delivery man just huffed at me, when I politely declined to take delivery.
I always get stuff delivered to dh's office, or make sure I'm in for delivery dates. I've never used the neighbours like this. So AIBU?

OP posts:
allnightlong · 15/12/2010 18:05

YANBU I did this for my sister who lived on the same street and liked to online shop before I knew it I was getting parcels for everyone in the street who wasn't in, word had got around and people we're actually leaving my address as the alternative if they weren't in. So I started to refuse and after awhile it stopped, I don't get as many good morning now which is fine by me.

AnnoyingOrange · 15/12/2010 18:05

My dh once ordered several cases of wine and they were taken in by a house down the street.

I came home, found the card and went to collect whatever it was.

I was slightly nonplussed when I saw the boxes of wine, as I was heavily pregnant and couldn't carry them, but the neighbour kindly carried them round to my house Grin

I always take in parcels for other people -what goes around comes around

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 15/12/2010 18:15

Since you don't want to take parcels for people - Don't answer the door if you aren't expecting someone. Look through the window to check.

You aren't actually obliged to open your door, you know.

I know I don't!

Or answer the phone.

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain · 15/12/2010 18:23

Well I have a package that has been waiting for collection for 2 weeks. I don't know the person either. It doesn't take up much room but it is getting a bit on my nerves, judging by the number, someone who lives at the other end of the street. If a parcel is left for me with a neighbour, I go round and pick it up quickly. Neighbours often take in packages for me so really I am generally fine with doing it too. It is easy to take it for granted, so good to be on the receiving end once in a while and realise what it is like. I don't have a baby though.

Yes, I think switch off your doorbell if you can and leave a sign up asking people not to knock, baby is asleep and I am sure the post will go somewhere else. I find it odd that they leave large household appliances with a neighbour tbh. Didn't think that would be possible.

Soups · 15/12/2010 18:24

I often take parcels for the local neighbours and don't mind but it's not an out of hand situation. If the package looks large (If it's not in the delivery persons hands and still in the van it probably is), or for people you don't know then you could try "sorry I would but I won't be in later".

NineLadiesDancingThroughLife · 15/12/2010 18:34

YANBU. I had this at the start of my mat leave. Suddenly loads of neighbours in our block suddenly had their parcels delivered to me - they apparently put in their delivery notes to deliver to us. Didn't check with me first that it would be ok. Rude. It was extra annoying because I couldn't see who had rung the buzzer, and it wakes DD up without fail.

However, I've recently found out that some delivery drivers don't get paid, or get black marks against their names if they come back to the depot with parcels, so I do see why they try to leave with neighbours if they can.

Next time there's a TV, could you not sign it under a different name then deny all knowledge of the delivery when the neighbours come 2 weeks later for it? "No sorry, I haven't seen your lovely new appliance. Oh, that's weird, there's no-one of that name at this address and I wasn't in that day. What a shame you weren't in yourself to sign for it when you knew it was coming " Xmas Grin

Esme69 · 15/12/2010 18:39

I recently agreed to take in a wine delivery for my neighbours, only i didnt realise until two late that it was 5 x 12bottle cases of the damned stuff and it took up half my hallway. I couldnt get them by phone for two days, when they eventually turned up they never once even thanked me for taking and keeping the stuff for them - wont make that mistake again with those particular people!

blowninonabreeze · 15/12/2010 18:44

DanZZZenAroundTheTreeAgain
Delivery drivers DON'T always put a note into the intended recipients house, we had 2 this weekend left with our lovely neighbours and I didn't even know they were there until they came round with them.

I always take in parcels, but I would definately go round with one rather than wait for them to collect. I also always check with the driver that they are going to put a note into the persons house, especially if its someone I don't know.

purpleturtle · 15/12/2010 18:46

Danzzzen - is it possible the person who ordered that parcel had no card put through their door and doesn't know where to collect their parcel from?

purpleturtle · 15/12/2010 18:47

x post!

discobeaver · 15/12/2010 18:48

Feel very sorry for delivery drivers, it's a very tough job, they are stressed to the max atm, and need to get all their stuff offloaded.

It's not ideal for you of course, esp if it's getting out of hand - a wahsing machine is riduculous!

No one ever asks me we live in a tucked away flat.

pastaplease · 15/12/2010 19:01

YABU. It's standard good manners to take in parcels for neighbours.

Ladyanonymous · 15/12/2010 19:04

Hmmm....never thought of getting parcels delivered to the office...such a good plan!! PITA having to go to the bloody sorting office which is never open....

GodRestYeMerryMummyLin · 15/12/2010 19:10

I will always take in my neighbours parcels and this week they have done the same for me.

TitianTinselTemptress · 15/12/2010 19:12

Charge them a tenner when they come to collect, that'll put 'em off! Grin

YANBU btw, sounds like they are taking the piss and I agree stick a sign on the door, if you want you could put 'unless by prior arrangement' so your neighbours could carry on having stuff delivered to you.

MadamDeathstare · 15/12/2010 20:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NellieForbush · 15/12/2010 20:53

YANBU tell them no.

HansieMom · 15/12/2010 21:18

I wouldn't do it. Simply say "no".

When I was a young mother, we started being asked to take parcels for a neighbor. My son, 7 at the time, would take them over to the neighbor. They just took it, did not thank him. There were a lot of parcels. I just started saying I don't want to take these packages anymore. I wish I never had taken a one for them.

Baileysandice · 15/12/2010 22:08

Just dont answer the door its that simple!

NellieForbush · 15/12/2010 22:16

It is standard good manners to not expect your neighbour to accept a string of parcels. If they know there is no chance of being in get deliveries sent to work. It doesn't sound like an occasional parcel here OP, sounds like a piss take.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 15/12/2010 22:56

The odd parcel for our next door neighbours I don't mind but I think the OP's neighbours are taking the piss by expecting her to take delivery of plasma screen TVs and washing machines! Like someone else has said, what would happen if these items turned out to be damaged? The OP might get the blame, or there might be a problem with returning the items as the OP had signed for them.

I do actually refuse to take parcels in now for one particular courier (they deliver for QVC, the neighbours up the road are forever ordering from there), as the driver was once very rude.

Jux · 15/12/2010 23:02

I used to have to take deliveries for the guy in the shop next door. The shop was always closed on a Tuesday and yet he'd always arrange for at least one thing to be delivered then. Boy, was I glad to see the back of him.

TrappedinSuburbia · 15/12/2010 23:13

I always take in parcels for my neighbours, but there's only 14 houses on my street and I don't have a young baby, saying that they are always taking in parcels for me as well.

I would be annoyed if it woke my baby though and its never been anything big like a tv or washing machine!

Morloth · 15/12/2010 23:32

I was going to say YABU until I got to the washing machine/huge TV bit.

A parcel here and there is one thing but I wouldn't be agreeing to taking on such bulky/expensive items.

YANBU, you need to refuse the delivery man if you don't want to take it and put a note up when the baby is sleeping saying so.

BumptiousandBustly · 16/12/2010 10:28

YANBU - I am happy to take in deliveries - but one lot NEVER come and collect them. They just wait for us to carry them across, and it can't be that they didn't get a card, as it has happened every time we have taken in a delivery for them. I now check who its for, and refuse to take it if its for them.

(NB, I do have a toddler and a baby AND PND. And the toddler nags me endlessly about the big boxes in the hall, so its a real pain when they don't collect).

The other night though we had a delivery, and the driver asked DH if we would accept a delivery for a business on the local business estate!! I realize he must have been a bit desperate, but no way!

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