to not want to collect parcels for neighbours?

[oranges]

What's the etiquette on this? I'm at home on maternity leave and being driven nuts by delivery men ringing to ask if they can leave parcels for neighbours. They wake the baby, and then get woken again when the neighbours come round to collect. I take parcels from the house right next door as I know them, we chat and every now and then they appear with cakes for us. But I've started refusing houses further down as I have no idea who lives there, and I really cant be bothered finding a safe place to keep bulky parcels out of the children's way. One delivery man just huffed at me, when I politely declined to take delivery.
I always get stuff delivered to dh's office, or make sure I'm in for delivery dates. I've never used the neighbours like this. So AIBU?

[trixymalixy]

Ha ha ha at dockate thinking you can always
choose the day you get parcels delivered on!!!!

[LIZS]

dhl have left a neighbour's parcel in my porch today while I was at work - left me no note or other notification - I'm afraid I'm not prepared to take responsibility for it. Meanwhile my parcel has yet to arrive

[dockate]

YANBU at all! Why the hell should you be stuck with other people's shopping. If they can't be in, they should be paying extra for delivery on days when they can or not shopping online!

If they make a special arrangement with you as a one-off or whatever then fair enough, but it's only a matter of time before you get blamed for a damaged item or a delivery driver's incompetence; it happened to me on maternity leave when I signed for a delivery only to be told that there should have been 3 parcels not 1; the delivery company said they'd delivered, and I'd signed, so the neighbour (who I barely knew) had their claim refused - they blamed me and tried to make me pay for the lost parcels!!

[evenkeel]

OP, YANBU at all if these neighbours are letting you act as a collection service without coming round to apologise for imposing on you. I'm all for neighbourliness but there's such a thing as Going Too Far....

[oranges]

I think I object because I don't get stuff delivered at home often, because it wakes the baby, or the bell rings as the neighbours come to collect it as I'm giving the children a bath or putting them to bed, and it just gets them all excited again. Dh is rarely home then so I'm trying to do it all. But I fully accept I may be a bit of a grouch about this.
and we live in a townhouse, so can often involve thundering up and down a lot of steps. I fully understand its tricky for some people, but its now happening about twice a day and is driving me nuts.

[Quenelle]

YABU Sounds like some of your neighbours take the piss.

As well as not wanting your baby to be woken from its nap, you might be wanting to sleep while your baby's asleep, as everyone says you should .

[trixymalixy]

It is very rude to put your address as an alternative without asking!!

[trixymalixy]

YANBU, if you don't want to take in parcels then don't. Your neighbours will never know that you refused.

It's not really their fault though as often when you order something you don't know when it's going to arrive.

I always take in parcels for neighbours, bit I would draw the line at a washing machine or tv!!! Those kind of items you are normally given a date for.

[cumbria81]

YABVU and unhelpful. It's hardly a huge hassle is it. It's Christmas, where's your sense of peace and goodwill to all men?! (and women, bien sur).

[pawsnclaws]

I don't generally mind doing it, I seem to get parcels at least twice a week for one neighbour in particular. I did refuse once - actually I initially said yes, only to see the driver return to the van and roll a car tyre out of the back of the van (sorry but I've nowhere to put that!)

One other neighbour is a bit of a nuisance, she seems quite happy to wait weeks on end and we always end up knocking on her door, coming back again, knocking the next day etc etc. She never bothers to try and collect from us.

DH once took a parcel for her and said to me "what the hell is Spanx?" He was a bit disappointed when I told him, he thought it might be something kinky.

[StayingFatherChristmasGirl]

Rudolphsmum - is it unreasonable to object to having large items delivered - flat screen tvs or washing machines etc? Or to neighbours giving someone else's address as an alternative delivery address without asking? That's where I think the line is drawn. Occasional parcels are fine, but not big stuff, and not assuming you'll accept stuff without asking.

[Tw1nkle]

YANBU - I feel the same!!

They don't even put a note through the door to let the others know that they've left it with me!

So I then have to keep a look out for them being in - so i can DELIVER it to them!!!

It's crazy!

My DD has been awoken a few times too - really infuriating!!

[Hulababy]

Oh - washing machines and huge TVs are very different though. Aren't they the type of things that you have a delivery day and slot told to you bforehand, and that can'tgenerally be left elsewhere?

[Hulababy]

I get parcels, wherever possible, sent to DH's office.

However, not everyone can do this. I couldn't have stuff sent to my work - I work in a school. We are not able to do that.

And not all online places lets you send to an alternative delivery address.

And it is very hard to specify a delivery date isn't it? So, it isn't their fault in tha sense.

But you don't have to accept the parcel. They can go back to the depot.

For me, it doesn't bother me to answer the door and hang onto a parcel for the afternoon. I will do it for our neighbours and I know they have done it for me. Would have to be someone within a few door of me though.

DD likes to go and take them round in the evening so saves hassle of getting it to them later.

[rudolphsmum]

YABU really ( unless of course there are several deliveries a day) I always did it for my neighbours when I was at home and now that one have mine has retired he does it for us too.

[StayingFatherChristmasGirl]

Taking in parcels for neighbours is a reasonable thing to do - up to a point, and your neighbours have gone well past that point with plasma tvs, etc!!

[BumptiousandBustly]

YANBU - I am happy to take in deliveries - but one lot NEVER come and collect them. They just wait for us to carry them across, and it can't be that they didn't get a card, as it has happened every time we have taken in a delivery for them. I now check who its for, and refuse to take it if its for them.

(NB, I do have a toddler and a baby AND PND. And the toddler nags me endlessly about the big boxes in the hall, so its a real pain when they don't collect).

The other night though we had a delivery, and the driver asked DH if we would accept a delivery for a business on the local business estate!! I realize he must have been a bit desperate, but no way!

[Morloth]

I was going to say YABU until I got to the washing machine/huge TV bit.

A parcel here and there is one thing but I wouldn't be agreeing to taking on such bulky/expensive items.

YANBU, you need to refuse the delivery man if you don't want to take it and put a note up when the baby is sleeping saying so.

[TrappedinSuburbia]

I always take in parcels for my neighbours, but there's only 14 houses on my street and I don't have a young baby, saying that they are always taking in parcels for me as well.

I would be annoyed if it woke my baby though and its never been anything big like a tv or washing machine!

[Jux]

I used to have to take deliveries for the guy in the shop next door. The shop was always closed on a Tuesday and yet he'd always arrange for at least one thing to be delivered then. Boy, was I glad to see the back of him.

[prettymuchapixiegirl]

The odd parcel for our next door neighbours I don't mind but I think the OP's neighbours are taking the piss by expecting her to take delivery of plasma screen TVs and washing machines! Like someone else has said, what would happen if these items turned out to be damaged? The OP might get the blame, or there might be a problem with returning the items as the OP had signed for them.

I do actually refuse to take parcels in now for one particular courier (they deliver for QVC, the neighbours up the road are forever ordering from there), as the driver was once very rude.

[NellieForbush]

It is standard good manners to not expect your neighbour to accept a string of parcels. If they know there is no chance of being in get deliveries sent to work. It doesn't sound like an occasional parcel here OP, sounds like a piss take.

[Baileysandice]

Just dont answer the door its that simple!

[HansieMom]

I wouldn't do it. Simply say "no".

When I was a young mother, we started being asked to take parcels for a neighbor. My son, 7 at the time, would take them over to the neighbor. They just took it, did not thank him. There were a lot of parcels. I just started saying I don't want to take these packages anymore. I wish I never had taken a one for them.