to think that being paid to foster is wrong

[nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree]

This is actually not a thread about a thread but rather about a poster I saw in the Post Office today which basically said "you could get paid up to £350 per week to foster". I was and then (as I do) wondered what the MN consensus would be.

Obviously it doesn't seem right that people should not have their expenses reimbursed and it would be terribly sad if good carers didn't foster for want of being able to afford to but surely offering that sort of money makes the transaction a financial rather than a nurturing one. It diesn't sit well with me.

So AIBU to think that paying people to foster rather than to cover their expenses attracts the wrong sort of people?

Indeed MoonUnit

YABU. Looking after a child, whatever age, that is most likely disturbed by the circumstances it find itself in, is very hard.

What about people who care for adults with learning disabilities etc in their homes - should they not be paid too.

So you are saying yes it is hard work and yes they are wonderful but they should not get any money at all?

Seriously, AIBU used to have some semblance of proper discussion, now its just badly thought through moronic nonsense. Thats a YABVU in case you're confused.

I used to work for a well known private fostering agency about 6 years ago. Not as a carer but in their offices, placing children into homes. Back then our carers were paid £342 a week, thats per child. Most carers had at least 2 children, some had 3, we had a couple of carers who had sibling groups of 4. That moneys tax free and carers were eligible for housing benefit as well.

So people were attracted to it because of the money but those people generally didnt make it past the assessment process. We had some fantastic carers who could literally turn lives around and they deserved every penny. Because we were a private agency we used to get thekids who local authorities couldnt place themselves - older children, with multiple placements behind them, violent, agressive behaviour, kids who didnt go to school so the carers were with them 24/7, kids who absconded, fire setters etc etc. A lot of those kids should have been in residential, but fostering was the cheaper option for LAs.

We paid that money because we saw the carers as well trained professionals doing a highly challenging and demanding job. Some carers for example with a sibling groups of 2 or 3, both carers had to be at home full time to care for the kids as they required so much care.

Actually, I'm with those who think that foster carers should get paid more. A lot more.

If fostering were treated like a vocational career like teaching or nursing then there would be far more choice for LAs and they could be more picky about who they 'hired' to foster.

The quality of foster care would rise significantly, and the risk of children being placed with terrible fosterers like some of those mentioned above would fall.

Slight deviation from the topic but how much training and support are foster carers given?

Bonnie I have not once said they shouldn't get any money at all.

What I have questioned is whether sums in the region of £350 per child attract people to the "job" (and I put it in quotes bacause it is not a job like any other, it is a role that clearly requires hardwork without respite and a level of commitment to improving a childs wellbeing unlike any other role I can think of) as a means to financial enrichment rather than because it is a job that they want to do.

But as ever in AIBU what is a valid point is ignored and people pile in with crap about "YABU for not recognisisng that foster carers do a great job" which is a quite separate issue and not something I have ever attempted to negate.

Nancy- isn't that aka as not accepting the mass opinion? It's aibu not chat. YANBU.

YABU. £18,000 a year is not "enrichment" when it's in exchange for 24/7 care of a child in the foster system.

As many in this thread have said, people trying to get into it to fill their purse get weeded out in the early stages or a very rude awakening. But hey, you don't have to acknowledge those posts, you just carry on responding to the ones that go a bit off topic.

Anyway, it's a no brainer - if fostering were financially worthwhile, there sure as hell wouldn't be a shortage of foster carers in the midst of a recession.

YABVVVU.

I have a friend who works in a home for teenagers without parental homes to live in or foster carers to stay with. Should she be working voluntarily? It is a really specialised job to deal with people who have severe underlying emotional difficulties etc.

A foster carer not only works 24/7 for that amount of money but they have to clothe, feed, treat these children/teenagers, make sure their rooms are decorated, buy their birthday and Christmas presents, I could go on.

I know of three sets of foster carers who care so deeply for their foster children they've gone onto adopt them, and therefore would lose all that money, I think they would find what you have said deeply insulting!

Yabu.

My parents were foster carers for 30 years and I grew up in a large diverse family, many children coming and going over the years. It was tough at times for me and my natural sister as we had to take a back seat to our parents attention because the needs of our foster brothers and sisters were greater than ours.

My parents were paid very little for looking after children until the early 90's when the pay structure changed and they starting getting a 'fee' for their time on top of the money that was solely for the needs of the children.

By the time my parents came to retirement age they had been looking after a sibling group of 3. Me and my DH, after much soul searching decided that we would train as foster carers and buy my parents house to enable the children to stay in the home they had known for 3 years and maintain some stability. We knew that the children would have undoubtedly been split up if they had gone back into the system.

We went through intensive training for 6 months.....a variety of health checks, enhanced CRB checks etc and finally went to panel 7 years ago and were passed to give us the opportunity to raise the 3 children on a permanent basis.

It hasnt been easy and our own 6 children have suffered at times but I am so proud of the achievements of all of my children. I only have my eldest foster daughter in placement as the other 2 have grown up and left home

The remuneration we received for the care of the children didnt cover costs at all and we ended up well out of pocket but it doesnt matter....the feeling I get knowing that I turned their lives around and gave them some hope is well worth it

We are now considering changing our status to enable us to become carers of teen mothers and babies......wish us luck

Oh and OP ...YABVVVVVU

Yabvu. Of course foster parents should be well paid for what they do. Yanbu to think that they should be doing it because they genuinely want to help. Some are, some aren't. Personally I wouldn't do it for £2000 a week. There are plenty of 'worthy' careers that are well paid - should a brain surgeon not get paid well either?

I have 6 children. Two are birth children, One is our adopted DC and three we foster.
This is a breakdown of my week:
Monday
6.30- 9.00 DC up, breakfast, school run.
10.00 - 11.30 Child protection conferance
11.30 - Nursery pick up
3.00 - School pick up
3.30-4.30 - Supervision meeting
4.45 - School pick up
Then dinner and bedtime routine. I finish about 9.00pm

Tuesday
School pick ups as Monday plus running 3 hour support group for new carers.
Hospital appointment for FC.

Wednesday
Normal duties plus One hour review meeting and 2 hours at college meeting for FC.

Thursday
Normal duties plus 2 hour PEP meeting for FC

Friday
Normal duties plus 2 hour support group and hospital appointment for FC.

I am also on 24 call if any of the children are ill. On top of that I have a six bedroom house to clean.

This week I have also attended:
3 Nativity plays
1 Carol concert
1 school dinner
Helped at a school Christmas fayre
Helped at 2 Christmas parties.

Next year my foster children will join us for a week in Devon at easter
2 weeks in Cyprus in August
A long weekend in London in October for show and sightseeing staying in a 4* hotel.
3 days at Lapland in December.

I bloody love my job and most of the children I foster. I do need to make a living though and while the money that goes into my bank each week looks impressive I think I earn every penny.

applauds mumofloads

Sounds very like my normal week ....its thankless but thats what being a mum is all about innit

Keep up the good work!!!!

Are you expecting people to foster AND work full time on top to have an income? the money really isn't that good considering what is involved and how compicated most of the children are. I whole heartedly agree that adults should have a calling to work as fosterers but they have every right to be paid for thier huge commitment.

Ok then, they should get some money but not much then? Could you please specify exactly how much you think a hard working foster parent is worth then?

I'm a new foster carer for a LA. I also work 30 hours a week and our s.w has encouraged me not to give up work, not to reduce my hours, because we might have a placement for three weeks and then nothing for three months.
We get an allowance whilst we're looking after children which covers the extra costs of looking after more children, including the mountain of washing and gallons of milk we go through.
At the moment, our payment ( obviously not including their allowance) for this much needed work is £50 per child , per week.

I sat down tonight for the first time tonight at half eight, and am going to bed now ( having stayed up much too late as it is mumsnetting ) knowing that I will get up at least twice tonight and most probably have to deal with a wet bed tomorrow morning.
I love this job, I know I'm making a difference. But I couldn't do it for free. Mother Theresa I am not.

Actually there are thousands of foster carers who do it for free.

They are called kinship carers.

The fact that a poster on here had no idea she could get an allowance speaks volumes. SS do not want them to know, it works out much cheaper that way

I astounded that anyone should think you shouldnt be paid to foster.

I think there should be more finacial incentives. I belive that more children could be accomadated in urban environments instead of being shipped off to the home counties if fc were helped with the costs of adapting their homes. Who the hell has a spare room in London? Not many young couples.

Kids get moved miles away and therefore lose contact with birth families and have to move schools and loose any continuity. Moving LAs also increases the risk of slipping through the net and records being lost.

OP you are being very very unreasonable. I have in placement at the moment one very disturbed (but delightful) 5 year old.

He has suffered the most disturbing infancy imaginable. He has been so horrifically abused that he will never experience a "normal" childhood or adulthood. He cannot be placed with LA foster carers because he poses a huge risk to any other child in placement/own children.

My travelling commitments with this LO per week are enormous. This is made up by seeing various consultants, play therapist, councellors, psychiatrists, psychologists and seperate family contact (Mum, dad, grandparents and siblings,). On top of that I have to attend various training courses pertaining to his needs, as well as weekly visits from his Social Worker and my own Supervising Social Worker

I do not hold Parental Responsibility for the child and have to adhere with ridiculous decisions made by his birth mother. For example the child's hair is causing problems because it is so long that he cannot see past his fringe. His schoolwork is suffering as a result. BUT because his birth mother states she does not want him to et a haircut then the child has to suffer.

I am unable to sleep at night as I am well aware of what his past will enable him to do with my ( now adopted - but was in LA care) 8 year old daughter.

For the record. Yes I receive £350 per week to care for him. I have given up my teaching career to do this. I do not get clothing, toy, christmas, holiday allowance, child benefit or free school dinners. I also have to pay tax and national insurance.

OP you say you know of a foster carer who is fostering for the money. My advice to you is to report them.

Statistics show that only 1 in 10 prospective foster carers make it past the assessment stage.

I am unsure of which Foster Agency you are citing but can only say it pisses me off big time when I hear adverts for foster carers which seemingly states all you need to foster is a spare bedroom. Nothing could be further from the truth!

But of course there is nothing stopping you from applying to become a foster carer. At the end of the day it is hard work but I have loved every minute of my fostering career.

The knowledge that I have made a difference to the lives of many children is invaluable.

Curious to know how comes a foster parent needs 350 a week yet a parent of a child on social gets 74 for that child i.e child benefit and child tax credit.

Parents be far better off fostering rather than looking after their own children.

I've heard of alot higher payments than £350 per week.

While it does seem alot of money, on the other hand think of what is involved. Caring for a troubled child or children who may have been abandoned, beaten, abused, you might have to facilitate contact between other family members. It must be very hard.

As others have said, there are much easier ways to earn £350.

Also it has to be said, how many people would take on that sort of responsibility without being paid.....

classydiva, if you have children give them to fosterparents and you foster someone elses. I trust you'd be better off looking after children who have been through the care system and may be very troubled than caring for your own.

Also £74 per week for one child is a fair amount of money for people on "social" considering they'll have their own benefits, housing benefit and all the passported bits that go with it such as free school meals etc.

Slightly different perspective... Way back in dark ages I was very lucky to be fostered at young age and stayed with the family throughout my childhood. They received no payment and were fine with that but had to get support to help with things like school uniforms etc which they could not afford.....the LA gave this in the form of vouchers....This family offered exactly what we need from foster carers...a loving home and an opportunity to feel loved, cared for and part of a family....the only time I ever felt like unwanted scum was when going through the indignity of spending social services vouchers.... Am glad things have moved on. Caring for children costs ..... and we should we want the best care, be prepared to pay for it....and then be proud that we are doing so. If some are abusing the system then recruitment vetting and appropriate monitoring should be stringent enough to tackle that issue drectly.