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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that being paid to foster is wrong

153 replies

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree · 15/12/2010 16:55

This is actually not a thread about a thread but rather about a poster I saw in the Post Office today which basically said "you could get paid up to £350 per week to foster". I was Shock Shock and then (as I do) wondered what the MN consensus would be.

Obviously it doesn't seem right that people should not have their expenses reimbursed and it would be terribly sad if good carers didn't foster for want of being able to afford to but surely offering that sort of money makes the transaction a financial rather than a nurturing one. It diesn't sit well with me.

So AIBU to think that paying people to foster rather than to cover their expenses attracts the wrong sort of people?

OP posts:
stubbornhubby · 15/12/2010 17:42

do you think nurses, therapists, social workers, policemen, vicars and doctors should work for free as well?

motherinferior · 15/12/2010 17:42

It's kinship care she's referring to - is that an option in your local authority?

Grandparents Plus is a good organisation, if you don't know it already.

SantasMooningArse · 15/12/2010 17:43

Some LA's are reducing or even taking away the money- and good long term foster carers are finding it's keep fostering or pay the mortgage.

Fostering costs- big costs like larger housing as well as the little things. If things get too tight these are what people cut back on and yet keeping a child stable is a major aim of the care system.

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree · 15/12/2010 17:43

ladybiscuit thanks for the article - insightful and tragic in equal measures.

As I thought I'd made clear I don't think it is a way to make a fast buck. But I felt sure some people must, but I admit I have no idea as to teh safeguards in place and if all those who have experience of the system tell me that those who are in it for financial gain are weeded out by the system then I am happy to be told IABU Smile

OP posts:
Checkmate · 15/12/2010 17:46

As former foster carer, I think the money should be increased. There are too few foster carers in this country. I also think that those whose sole motivation is financial should be weeded out (though I came across very few).

Bloodymary · 15/12/2010 17:46

motherinferior, thanks so much for that link, I will certainly look into it!!!

Bonsoir · 15/12/2010 17:48

Fostering is a job like parenting any other, it requires a great deal of patience and skill and therefore should be remunerated as such.

LoopyLoopsOfSparklyFairyLights · 15/12/2010 17:53

"I am pmsl at the idea that foster carers are raking in their money."

It's a sad fact that some are. Not all, but a lot more than most of the posters on here would imagine.

I was fostered. Some foster carers cared a bit, some more, some not at all. One family most definitely did it for the money (would admit it to us), and certainly did make a lot of money from it. They took in usually 5 teenagers at a time. They did absolutely everything they could to scrimp so as to make the most amount of profit. "Fosters" had a separate part of the house, with one revolting bathroom with a broken window. w
oThey and their own children had en suite rooms in a lovely part of the house, with locks on the doors. The kitchen, fridge and cupboards all had locks. Their children (2 younger than us, 2 older) each had their own keys. Their children were bought different food from us, for example they were allowed fruit juice, we had to have Tesco value cola or water. They had fluffy bread rolls for school lunch, with chocolate and fruit, we had to use Tesco value white bread and value cheese. I could go on.

My sister was placed separately from me, as she was younger. Out of her three placements, one was exactly like the one I describe, one was emotionally abusive, and the other was both emotionally and physically abusive. This is not as uncommon as you would like to believe.

I hope to foster at some point. When I was younger (and in care) I really resented that amount that foster "carers" are paid. However, considering it now, I know that I couldn't afford it without some payment. They problem lies, I think, in the fact that children's expenses aren't discrete and therefore carers can get away with basically stealing the money meant for the children.

FessaEst · 15/12/2010 17:56

YADBU.

I read this a while ago and was Shock at just what they go through. It's an incredibly important job that needs to be done properly, and for that, they need to be paid imho.

motherinferior · 15/12/2010 17:56

I think I was wrong to say that, LL - I do know that the care system has some appalling carers.

The really upsetting thing about Monday's interview was knowing that this particular carer was outstanding - not typical. I am sorry I was so crass earlier.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 15/12/2010 17:57

gosh i have supported foster carers for years now and i think they should get more.What other job would you do for 24 hrs a day 7 days a week,they cant even use a sitter unless they are crb'd and they have to provide far more than would be expected of natural parents-clothing and toiletry allowance transport costsetc.lots of fc's also take their foster children to contact with family often miles away involving having to wait around untill they are finished as not worth going home.
I woildnt foster for amillion pounds,i have seen peoples lives destroyed from allegations made against them and have also come across natural children of carers being abused by the foster children as they are so damaged.Private foster carers get a lot more than la ones too.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 15/12/2010 17:59

Also aggree there are some terrible fc's but doing it for free wouldnt change that.

purplearmadillo · 15/12/2010 18:01

I have a friend Hmm who has a very warped idea of money. She came up with a plan a year ago that she could foster children so that she could afford to move to a bigger house, and then stay at home with her DS rather than work.

Her friends were horrified, her idea was all about the money and she had given no thought to the nature of fostering or the needs of the children, she just saw it as a way of making money. I actually asked her why she wanted to foster and she said it was because it paid £x per month.

OP, I think its people like her you are getting at, she was attracted by the headline figure with no idea of what was really involved. She was completely the wrong kind of person, but she didn't take it further because i think it became apparent very quickly that she was being ridiculous.

panettoinydog · 15/12/2010 18:03

It is right to pay foster carers.

ledkrsbellyislikesantas · 15/12/2010 18:04

I aggree purple,i have come across that type but they are usually put off quite quickly when they realise just how complex the childrens needs are and what fc entails.

colditz · 15/12/2010 18:13

I am a support worker. If my boss didn't pay me, I wouldn't go to work. I would find a different job.

This is not because I am a fucked up callous piece of human excrement, it's because I and my family have our own running costs, which I could not meet if I went to work to do my job for free.

And support work is not so different from foster care.!

redflag · 15/12/2010 18:16

yabu,

I am not a Foster parent, But i know fostering is a full time job and many foster children need a lot of love and support and one on one care.

Its an important job that needs to be paid or no one would be able to do it.

comedycentral · 15/12/2010 18:17

Oh my goodness YABVU! Foster carers DESERVE to be paid. What planet are you on? Sitting there judging when you have no idea how hard it can be for foster carers. Being paid to do the work does not mean that they wont nuture the children any more or less.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 15/12/2010 18:19

Absolute tosh, yabu.

Those who take on severely disturbed children thus preventing further damage deserve bloody medals.

That's like saying people who run group homes/facilities should only do it for 'expenses'

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 15/12/2010 18:20

And I suggest those whothink otherwise remove their heads from their bumcheeks and stop being so bloody worthy !

StewieGriffinsMom · 15/12/2010 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoNotWantAnotherMincePie · 15/12/2010 18:27

YABU

I think they should get more. A residential placement for a LAC could be anywhere in the region of 2K-7k ...per week !! £350 is cheap and (most) foster carers do a great job.

I work for the LA with LAC in residential as a manager. I get paid WAY more then a foster carer and get to go home at the end of my shift...maybe I shouldn't be paid either.

LadyBiscuit · 15/12/2010 18:37

There are definitely some appalling foster carers. I know a young woman who was shown one very nice room (which the LA think they're going to sleep in) and then being shoved in little more than a cupboard once the authorities have gone. And another child who was kept in a playpen for so long that she stopped being able to walk :(

But that is the fault of the LAs who do not investigate individual carers properly and a system which means the children in care feel they can't trust the authorities to be on their side. Most foster carers are not far off saints IMO

MoonUnitAlpha · 15/12/2010 18:40

Surely part of the problem of shit foster carers is that LAs don't have much choice - there's a shortage of places.

More money = more people can afford to foster = LAs can be more choosy about getting the best possible carers.

ShoppingDays · 15/12/2010 18:41

YABU

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