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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate the word 'nag' with a fiery passion?

48 replies

mammyshere · 14/12/2010 10:35

I have now told my dh that it is not a word that i will tolerate in my house. I hate it. Its only used as a way to belittle women, and comes almost as a threat sometimes 'Dont be a nag!'when said by a husband. Its terrible to be labelled as a nag, and its something most of us avoid!
I hate it and it should be thrown unceremoniously from the english language! AIBU?

OP posts:
ClaireDeLoon · 14/12/2010 10:40

YANBU I hate it too

Nagoo · 14/12/2010 10:48

definitely YANBU.

we have this argument, I bet everyone does. If he did it when I asked him, or if I had any confidence that a task would be done in the near future then I wouldn't be asking again!

WriterofDreams · 14/12/2010 10:49

YANBU

I agree, it should be on a par with other unacceptable words like the c word. My DH wouldn't dare call me a nag, it's hugely insulting plus it totally ties your hands in relation to getting things done around the house. Most men claim that they need to be reminded or told to do housework, but if you then do that and are labelled a "nag" the only other option is to do it all yourself. You just can't win.

PaxoIsEvil · 14/12/2010 10:51

YANBU. Women 'nag', men make 'suggestions'. It's a giant bunch of arse. Have you ever noticed that women only 'nag' when they're asking a man to do something he'd rather not do?

happysmiley · 14/12/2010 10:51

YANBU. It's banned in our house too.

HeathcliffMoorland · 14/12/2010 10:51

YABU.

It can also be used to describe the actions of men.

Truckulent · 14/12/2010 10:53

Stop nagging.

Niceguy2 · 14/12/2010 10:56

Well don't nag then and your DH won't need to use the word. Simples!

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 14/12/2010 11:00

YANBU - and NiceGuy perfectly illustrates why.

Being asked to do something more than once because it hasn't been done is NOT FUCKING NAGGING - it is trying to get it done.

Any suggestion that a repeat request constitutes "nagging" is a red rag to a bull here; and usually results in DH being told "there is an easy way to stop the 'nagging' - do the frigging job!"

mayorquimby · 14/12/2010 11:05

How else will we describe nagging then?

mayorquimby · 14/12/2010 11:07

"DH being told "there is an easy way to stop the 'nagging' - do the frigging job!"

If it's that important do it yourself, otherwise don't micro-manage and leave it up to him to do when he's ready.

30andMerkin · 14/12/2010 11:13

"If it's that important do it yourself, otherwise don't micro-manage and leave it up to him to do when he's ready."

Original poster
mammyshere · 14/12/2010 11:14

'It can also be used to describe the actions of men'

Yes it can, but not in a respectful manner. The word nag cannot be used by either sex without it being derogatory(sp?) The sentence 'my mil is such a nag' said by a woman is a equally offensive as when the word is used by a man.

and unfortuneatly it IS ued to disable women in terms of getting men to do jobs they'd rather not.

OP posts:
thumbplumpuddingwitch · 14/12/2010 11:14

what 30andMerkin said.

Soups · 14/12/2010 11:14

The only thing worse than being nagged at is having to keep asking someone to do the bleeding obvious. Or so I tell my husband after his brother has moaned about his wife leaving lists for him to do again.

emmie31 · 14/12/2010 11:14

I always say I'm not nagging I'm "motivating" Smile

Butterbur · 14/12/2010 11:15

Another word used by men to belittle women and keep them in their place.

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 14/12/2010 11:16

nice split here between the sexes Hmm
Men think it's fine to use; women don't agree.

Original poster
mammyshere · 14/12/2010 11:19

'How else will we describe nagging then?'

In what context do you need to describe nagging? if someone is repeatedly asking for you to do something wither give them a reason for not doing it or advise them when you will do it so that they no longer feel responsibility to remind you.

Perhaps you could say 'Dont be so persistent'
if it is really that necessary to combat the issue.

OP posts:
QueeferSantaland · 14/12/2010 11:19

YANBU.

But I do wonder why I have to ask DH to do something 10000000000 times. I have mentioned to him that putting dirty nappies on the window sills is disgusting. But he still does it. So I mention it again. And again. Et voila, je suis une nag.Hmm

Original poster
mammyshere · 14/12/2010 11:20

*either not wither sorry

OP posts:
muddleduck · 14/12/2010 11:26

I think that dh would like to ban this word.

Grin

I our house it only gets used in sentences like "I don't mean to nag, but..."

happysmiley · 14/12/2010 11:28

The last time DH used the word 'nag' he was told that it was not nagging but asking repeatedly, which is annoying and fustrating for me and wouldn't be necessary if he wasn't such a lazy fucker.

I have not heard it since.

GothAnneGeddes · 14/12/2010 11:29

YANBU.

This is one of the benefits of having a dh with english as a second language, he doesn't know the word, hence I never hear it.

schroeder · 14/12/2010 11:37

Tis catch 22, drives me mad.

DH hasn't used it for a long time, he's alright reallyGrin