to take away a duplicate present from DD

[nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree]

It was DD's 6th bithday last week and she received two identical gifts.

My reaction was to take one away and regift it at a later date although DD now thinks I am the meanest mummy in the world.

In an attempt at compromise I said I'd take it and get her something else (although having had her entire class to her party and with Christmas coming anything would be totally surplus)

They gifts are barbies so as she points out she could play with them together and dress them in different clothes but it does seem a bit frivilous, Especially as she must have at least 10 already.

Taking a present of a Barbie away from a 6y/o girl?

YABU. VU.

Can't one have a bob or something? If it matters,which it wouldn't to me.

If Barbies I would just let her keep them.

When DS recieves duplicate gifts I tell him I'll get him something to go with the gift and take the duplicate away.

Its usually lego things, and he has 2 police helecopters as he wanted to keep both and as your DD pointed out he can play with them both at the same time.

I usually give in compromise depending on how upset he is about it at the time.

DD got 3 Malibu Barbies at her 5th birthday party. She still has them all (albeit in a box under a bed) and they were well played with.
I see your point but I would let her keep them.

Take them all away and burn them. It's the only way.

I usually take away duplicate presents (very quickly before they are really noticed). I even check the presents people send for the DCs and then rewrap them if they are suiatble so that they never know or swap them for something else if they are duplicate or unsuitable. Just this morning I have opened a pack of books that has arrived in the post for DS1 and will be replacing them for soemthign else since he already has them.

Could you swap it for something else?

No Soupdragon, they make toxic smoke :)

She will now play with both just to prove you wrong :)

She might like identical twin barbies.....

I did it to dd once... although luckily in our case i realised before she opened the present, our friend had come up and left some christmas presents for the kids and one of them was so suspiciously similar in shape to the main presnt of a 'my first baby annabel' that we'd gotten her that i decided to investigate. I think i would have left her keep in tbh except that it was our main present to her and i felt it would be ruined a bit (for me, she was too young to notice) if she had two the same so i brought it back to the shop and they kindly let me change it for something else (no receipt)

In the case of a barbie i'm not sure i'd bother tbh... although i'm in awe of the fact that it survived in its packaging long enough for you to have this dilemma... at dd's birthday party the girls ripped open all the barbies like a pack of wild dogs attacking and all i ever saw of the boxes were shreds of cardboard.

If you had whipped it away before she really noticed then YANBU but she did notice and you have discussed it with her and they were presents given to her, not to you, so let her keep them.

Oh YABU - they could be twins and get up to all sorts of japes. And if they are twins, how cruel to split them up - they will spend the rest of their plastic lives searching for each other.

I always take duplicate presents away but they tend to be games so ds wouldn't want more than one. I wouldn't take a toy away just because it is a duplicate,eg ds got a Playmobil helicopter. He already had one but he plays with both as they have different roles in his games.

Sorry but I think you are being mean. Little girls like playing with more than one Barbie. I had about half a dozen Sindies and used to play all sorts of games with them.

They are just dolls - you wouldn't insist she only has one doll her entire childhood, would you?

And reddaisy's right, they are presents to her, not to you.

I see your point OP, but Barbies can't really be quantified like other duplicate presents. They are sociable little plastic creatures you see, they live in unachievably skinny herds. I'm afraid in this situation, your DD is more sensible than you!

If it was two of the same game fair enough - but two barbies FGS, it's not worth even thinking about, let alone posting about. Let her be.

Same game, same book, maybe even same item of clothing - yes take away and replace with something else. But things like two barbies, two teddies, two racing cars - as others have said, you can play with two, three or four at once as part of a game.

YABU, it was her present so i'd let her keep it if she doesnt want to swap it for something else.

I must be really lax, I wouldnt dream of opening presents first to see if suitable and would only exchange a gift if a dupe of a boardgame or similar.

Gosh I am suprised.

TBH I was erring towards letting her keep them both but thought that would be considered the height of wanton excess

You can play with two barbies just because they look the same doesn't matter 6 yer olds have an imagination. Also I would have said if you don't want that prsesnt because you have two the same I will buy it off you for £x amount (probably cheaper than actual present was as I'm tight) but enough that she can buy a prsesnt she wants on a visit to shops. That way she still has two presents and you still get a cut price gift to give to someone else later. At the moment she is now 1 present down YABU!

littleredsquirrel - I think you may have some control issues

Mrsunreasonable I don't think I do at all. My children are only little. What is the harm in checking a present for a five year old or a three year old? If its a duplicate I can give them something else instead. What is the point in having two books that are the same?

I rarely take things away that I would consider "unsuitable" since most people buy appropriate things however I don't want to have an argument with a five year old about why he can't watch the completely age inappropriate harry potter movie boxset that my mad SIL has bought him.

Do you tell the givers that you have confiscated their presents?

No of course not . And clearly I wouldn't do it if they were going to be there to see them open the presents. Everyone will get letters thanking them for the lovely gifts. This has gone off point a bit since we now seem to be talking about my removal of inappropriate gifts but I stick by my right as a parent to ensure that my children do not watch age inappropriate movies. Would you let a five year old watch the harry potter movies? As for the duplicates, others on the thread seem to do axactly the same!

exactly typo!