to take away a duplicate present from DD

[nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree]

It was DD's 6th bithday last week and she received two identical gifts.

My reaction was to take one away and regift it at a later date although DD now thinks I am the meanest mummy in the world.

In an attempt at compromise I said I'd take it and get her something else (although having had her entire class to her party and with Christmas coming anything would be totally surplus)

They gifts are barbies so as she points out she could play with them together and dress them in different clothes but it does seem a bit frivilous, Especially as she must have at least 10 already.

So when you take a present away and replace it with something you want them to have do the original present givers never think why do I never see little littleredsquirrel playing with such and such or say did you like such and such I bought you only to be met with blank stares?!

No I wouldn't tell the giver I had "confiscated" the present. They will get a nice card thanking them for their generous gift and for coming to her party.

I think I am just at the excess (and I am usually queen of OTT)

With her whole class having attended her party and all being terribly generous, I think she has received in excess of £500 worth of gifts from school friends alone.

But she will keep the barbie and I am sure it will be a useful addition to the barbie palace that she received from me, the glitteriser barbie and barbie jet that her aunts bought her and the two fairy barbie things that her godmother bought

Littleredsquirrel

I think it is pretty crap to confiscate presents like that. My kids are the same age as yours and when the get things too old for them we just put them in their cupboard for when they are bigger.

Btw my question wasn't directed at you Nancy. IMO it is reasonable to exchange duplicates but in this case I wouldn't bother. Am also shocked by the money involved btw.

No mrsunreasonable. As I have said I am mainly talking duplicates and therefore who would know that original horrid henry book is not actually the horrid henry book they sent.

The harry potter movie boxset will go in a cupboard until they are older and to be honest if SIL did ask about it (which is unlikely since she is in the States) I would say to her that it is a great present and I'm sure they will love it when they are a bit older but they'd find it a bit scary at the moment.

muddleduck that is exactly what I do

Ok. I misunderstood. Do the kids know ywhen you put stuff away for later on?

Depends. DS2 had a lego set for his 3rd birthday which was too complicated for him. That went into the cupboard in the playroom with strict instructions to DS1 that it belonged to his brother for when he is bigger

DS1 is talking about harry potter a lot since he plays it in the playground. I know that if I gave him the movies we'd have a tantrum that he can't watch them and so they will go into a cupboard and when he's older I will let him have them. I'm not intending to let him know they are there though since it will jst be upsetting for him that hes not allowed to watch them.

I understand why you do it but I don't think you can control this kind of thing. You won't always have the gifts previous to the event in order to censor them.

Also this is part of growing up realising that sometimes people will buy you the same thing and you just have to nicely say thank you and later when they have gone ask your parents if you can exchange it.

Also realising that some relatives (mine was an Auntie) have little clue about toys and will buy things too grown up so they have to be put away is a part of growing up and realising adults aren't perfect. I understand you are trying to avoid a tantrum but IMO and feel free to completely ignore it it is best to just confront the issue head on even if it does result in a tantrum at least a lesson is learned from it!

I agree with ItsKurriiiistmas Don't split the Barbie twins!!

My favourite Skippers (Barbie's little sister) were duplicates - as they went in the sale after I bought the 1st one (saved up pocket money) so I got a 2nd. I can picture them now - white 'leather' skirts and jackets, red sparkly tops and scarves and camera accesory.

They were indeed twins and had a sibling rivalry going - 1 had her hair cut to look 'different' and 1 had her ears pierced! They loved each other though and did lots together!

[probably should have had a sister - or a life! - emoticon]

Ok ok - the twins live

Good news... although I hope you've saved up for their therapy - they're liable to have lots of emotional/anger issues to work through related to their nearly being split up... hopefully you've got a Barbie therapist who can help them move on from the PTSD.

Phew - Barbie wins again - it just proves that if you have an unfeasible small waist and big plastic boobs you can achieve whatever you want

wow... OP, is this really the most pressing thing on your mind at the moment?

Jeees, this is more depressing than 'slatterns'

Why does something have to be the most pressing thing on your mind before you are allowed to post?

englandmistress.... there is a hide function if a thread is annoying you... less trouble to click that than post a nasty pointless comment.

Christ on a bike, if we all only posted the most pressing thing on our minds the forum would die a swift death!

Ok, maybe it doesnt have to be the most pressing thing... but surely it needs to be vaguely worthy of brain space..!

Ok, I'm hiding it.

Oh FFS - get over yourself Englandsmistress.

Some people are quite barking aren't they?! If we all only posted the most pressing thing - it would consist of bereavement/relationships/special needs/behavioural issues and that's about it! Whilst all of those boards are brilliant - you do need a bit of light relief.... speaking of which - I'm glad the twins are not being separated!

LittleRedSquirrel - not sure why you are getting such a hard time - what you do is what I and a lot of my friends do - well, I don't usually open presents and re-wrap them, but I do whisk them away if unnoticed if something is going to cause an upset. Why not? There are plently of lessons to learn and plenty of time to learn them - if you can avoid a few tears along the way - seems like the best option to me.

I donate duplicates to the church Christmas raffle, or similar.

Tbh I'd donate both Barbies to a worthy cause, cos my 6yo hates them, so that would be easy enough. If she loved them and wanted them and I was convinced she was actually going to play with them, then I'd be fine with her having both.

Life is too short to be precious about Barbies, though, if kids do actually like them and you think they will get played with. If they don't, then removing them is fair enough. I did once remove a brand new birthday present barbie from one of my older dc because they announced that they were going to open the packaging only to torture it and cut its head off. So I thought it was fair enough to take it away and give it to someone who would actually like it.

You are going to separate twins?? You cruel woman!

Hurrah, glad you've changed your mind.

I got two identical barbies for a birthday once. I nearly got them both confiscated as my mum hated barbie. But I did play with both of them - children play lots of games where they need multiple dolls - parties etc.
I think it would be unfair to take one away.

Your DD can have an evil twin and good one - what brilliant games she will be able to play