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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to report him missing

92 replies

frazzell · 11/12/2010 22:52

I've been trying to speak to my brother for the last 3 days unsuccessfully, he's ignored both my phone calls and my texts. I spoke to my sister the other night who'd also tried to phone him but she hadn't spoke to him either. So today I went round to his flat but there was no-one, I saw his neighbour and she said she hadn't seen him either although she said she'd been away and only got back last night. He's a student so there's no work for me to check with.
Would I be overreacting to report him missing to the police

OP posts:

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 11/12/2010 23:20

And remember, the police wont look on it as wasting their time, I'm sure they'd be only too glad to find him totally OK with a hangover from a three day bender.

huddspur · 11/12/2010 23:24

Do what MrsAnneelk says and give him until midday tomorrow, if you still haven't heard from him then contact the police. He sounds to be well rid of his ex by the way
Hope you find him safe and sound

maryz · 11/12/2010 23:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

frazzell · 11/12/2010 23:34

I've sent him a text, email and written on his facebook (which doesn't appear to have been active but I'm not sure what I'm looking for) telling him to contact me before 12 tomorrow or I'm reporting him.

OP posts:

wrinklyraisin · 11/12/2010 23:44

Frazzell, like I said, it's better to look a fool. If you are worried enough to post here then please contact the police. Family is too important to wait and see. We did this with my brother and he literally had been arrested in the far east with no phone call home etc. It took 5 weeks to free him. But at least he's alive to tell the tale. Get the authorities onto the case so they can find him for you. No matter what he is up to it's better to have him found safe and well than not.

maryz · 11/12/2010 23:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TragicallyHip · 11/12/2010 23:45

Hope you hear from him before then frazzell

huddspur · 11/12/2010 23:59

Sounds like you're doing the right thing Frazzell

byrel · 12/12/2010 00:20

I think you really should consider reporting it now, if something has happened then the sooner its reported then the sooner it can be resolved.

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 12/12/2010 08:07

If this behaviour is totally out of character then you are doing the right thing. It is far better to report a genuine concern than to sit back and do nothing.

I hope he has just buggered off for a few days and will be back wondering what all the fuss is about.

TragicallyHip · 12/12/2010 09:27

Any news frazzell?

piko · 12/12/2010 10:29

If this is out of character then you should report it. The police won't think your wasting their time even if he just shows up having gone away for a few days.

pawsnclaws · 12/12/2010 10:53

The police will NOT think you're wasting their time, DH's colleague didn't turn up for work one day without explanation, and the police were prepared to break into his flat that same afternoon. The fact that he never, never went AWOL without explanation was enough to convince them. Sadly, the outcome was not a happy one.

There is probably a reasonable explanation, maybe he just needs some alone time, but please follow this up. Is there no spare key to his flat?

catinthehat2 · 12/12/2010 11:00

HAs he been out protesting and not made it back yet?

MrManager · 12/12/2010 11:07

Don't get fixated on all the 'he's dead in his room' talk, I went through a whole term where I only emailed back home half a dozen times, no calls. Three days isn't long.

MrManager · 12/12/2010 11:08

If he's at uni he might be busy with coursework, it's that time of year.

piko · 12/12/2010 11:09

OP says he's been ignoring hers and her sisters calls for the last 3 days though, even if he's busy he would have found time to call/text them back surely

CheekyLittleStocking · 12/12/2010 11:19

Any news?????

humanoctopus · 12/12/2010 11:30

Hope your brother is ok?

I've had 2 experiences like that with close friends.

We contacted the police when concerned re friend 1, broke into her flat, she was on a alcohol bender, but eventually saw that we were concerned.

Friend 2 had been out of contact for 2 weeks He was dead for a day, had killed himself, and was discovered by his houseshare mate who decided to break into his room. So sad and maybe if we had contacted him (even forcefully) then maybe he would be alive?

I am definately for doing something, even if it turns out to be benign in the end. And it lets people know you care, even if they don't appreciate it!

MrManager · 12/12/2010 11:30

piko not necessarily, if you're on a flow with coursework you don't break it at all. But three days is probably a bit much, more likely that he's just lost his phone.

CrazyChristmasLady · 12/12/2010 11:55

How worrying.

I am pretty close to my brother who is away at uni, however since he has been there he is totally useless at keeping in touch. At first he was really good and would give me ring and stuff.

Now I can't get him to reply to any messages and when I do finally get to speak to him, I get the "I know, I am useless" speech from him. He was home for the summer and I only saw him twice.

Hopefully thats all it is with your brother too.

RiojaLover75 · 12/12/2010 13:35

frazzell any news yet??

feedtheyakandhewillscore · 12/12/2010 13:41

Ring the police. They broke into my gran's house when the postman noticed she had not taken her milk in. She was at my mums and had told her neighbours but the police were concerned and they acted quickly.

I did have a uni friend go missing for 2 days but she had met someone and spent the time with him. Could your brother of maybe met someone and stayed there-his phone would be flat.

Hope he is in touch soon.

flippinggorgeous · 12/12/2010 15:12

If you post on his wall on FB or mnessage a few people from his friends list someone may be able to help. Hope it all turns out ok.

DanceInTheDark · 12/12/2010 15:17

is there any news?

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