To Wish People Would Stop Saying

[ItsAHollyJollyTee]

'I know others have it worse than me'?

Of course others have it worse than you. And others have it better than you. That doesn't make what you are feeling/experiencing any less important or real.

I have a chronic pain illness. I never feel 100% well. That doesn't mean I can't sympathize when someone has a cold.

My DH and I are doing fairly well, even in this economy. That doesn't mean I am not jealous of people with millions in the bank or sickened by the banking industry's seemingly cavalier attitude about the bail out.

So feel what you feel and FFS stop apologizing for it!!

BTW not a thread about a thread but a thread about a 1,000,000 threads!

And this is my XMas name. Regular name is Tee2072.

hi hollyjolly

I have chronic pain 2 from 2 conditions (one is SPD despite the fact that "baby" is 2 and a half now!" and I'm sick and bloody fed up with it!!!!

I was supposed to get a procedure on Monday which might have helped but had to cancel due to the snow. Rescheduled for the middle of January so i will have to try and get through Christmas etc in pain.

I am fed up to the back teeth of taking painkillers etc especially as I am now physically dependent on them and couldn't just stop.

I'm heartily ticked off with my mobility problems due to SPD.

Most of all, perhaps, I'm sick of trying to explain to people what's wrong with me! (I don't go around saying, "poor me", by any means, but sometimes I have to explain why I can't do certain things.)

yes, there are lots of people worse of then me and sometimes I feel guilty for feeling bad when I know people with cancer.

Apart form that, I have a great life with 2 lovely toddlers and a fab dh, nice house, good job, good standard of living.

But my God, I'm fed up of the constant blooming pain!

Thanks for that, I feel better now!!
(and here's a hug form someone who who knows what chronic pain is like (((( )))) )

sorry for typos

YABU.

People have to put that disclaimer, otherwise they'll get piled on by the 'you think you've got it bad?! brigade, and it's just not worth it.

Perhaps it is because so many people here post "count yourself lucky, you could have X Y or Z and if A B or C are all you have to worry about you have no idea about real life"

I think the OP is not at all being unreasonable, but 5dollar and SoupDragon are right.
And what might seem like a small problem to one person could be a huge thing to another. It's all relative.

I got in trouble a couple of weeks back for complaining how ill I felt. I've been bedridden now for 3 weeks with a chest infection, I have never been so ill in my 39 years and although the infection is slowly clearing, I have been left so exhausted that I can't even go to the loo without help. I'm also newly pregnant so aware of that too. I've been on my own every day for three weeks, have barely seen dd as she's always been farmed out somewhere and now dh has taken her off to see father Christmas and I'm stuck here.

I know it's not cancer and I'll get over it in time but I'm so low now. I have nothing done for Christmas and can hear everyone else planning and wrapping and it's passing me by. The first Christmas that dd will understand is going to be shitty for her :( and there's nothing I can do. DH is so busy at work and then coming home and sorting dd, he's knackered too.

Sorry, this is a hijack but it's all come pouring out. Sorry.

cubby/tee, have you been referred to pain management services? You should be getting specialist help with the pain as well as treatment for the actual condition.

Don't know what you feel about complementary medicine but acupuncture shows some good results in pain management - recommended by NICE for lower back pain. Might be worth a try in the meantime?

YAB a bit U.

We were in a bit of a grim situation because of the snow and things but compared to many people, we were ok.

I try not to think about the reality of our life sometimes and suppose it is denial but there are people who struggle to cope with their own personal hells and they are in a worse situation than us.

You could make a list the length of your arm and sweeping generalizations but the elderly on their own, loneliness, poverty, the homeless, the starving, the abused......

In fact, as a general rule, I avoid posting anything personal on here to avoid the whole how-lucky-you-are stuff.

Yes Edam, I have pain clinic access and acupuncture.

Okay, so I am being 1/2 U and 1/2 R.

RockinRobinBird that sounds nasty . You did make me smile though when you put 'in all my 39 years' as if it was sooooooo old .

GentleOtter, ironically I'd been thinking we had it bad but then I read your thread :o

Well I do count myself lucky for lots of different reasons and have no jealousy towards millionaires, folk with bigger houses or better looks etc. I'd rather feel like this than have a 'poor me' attitude though I'm lucky to be in good health right now and are financially stable. You can feel how you like and have that right but if we all felt like that the world would truly be a miserable place. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Glad to hear it, Tee, but sorry to hear it's not been a complete solution.

In general, a little awareness that other people have it worse than you isn't a bad thing. Smugness can be irritating. But equally everyone gets pissed off sometimes and we are all entitled to moan about X, Y, or Z without having to issue a disclaimer about 'yes, I know there are starving children in Africa' (as my Granny used to put it). If something is making you miserable you are entitled to your feelings, whether or not someone else has it worse.

Actually the "if that's the worst you have to moan about" line is one of my pet MN peeves

that wasn't directed at you Reality - it's different if the person is continually wingeing about how hard their life is without any sort of realisation.

I am not saying to be smug, Edam. But just keep in mind that you (general you, not you specifically) are as entitled to a moan as anyone else. Whether you have it better or worse than them.

And the only thing that will ever make me feel 100% better is a hip, knee and ankle replacement and a cure for Fibromyalgia. None of which are coming any time soon.

Yes but it's worse for me because I don't have anything to top trump with :(

You have top trumped me Stealth because I can't be scunnered having a dose of the 'awful lifeage' just now and thus have nothing to complain about.

I often think this too. Surely if you follow the 'others have it worse' train of thought, very few people in the whole world would be allowed to moan, cos only the very worst off could! What bothers one person does not bother another. People have different coping strategies. Some people are tormented in an internal way. Simply comparing people does not work.

Tee, my first line was addressed to you, following par was general. Sorry if that was confusing! Don't think you are smug at all - was more thinking about the sort of posts you see occasionally such as 'my dh earns £100k but it doesn't go very far' and think, blimey, do these people not notice the world outside their little bubble?