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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be very cross with ds's karate teacher

51 replies

MollieO · 10/12/2010 20:55

Ds does karate at school. Every week he is excluded from part of the lesson. Every week he tells me that he does not know why he has been excluded.

I rarely attend the lesson as I work full time. The odd time I have attended I see ds excluded but cannot work out why either.

The teacher called me by accident a few weeks ago (thinking I was another child's parent). I asked her why ds was excluded and whether she told him the reason why. She admitted that she didn't. I attended last week and ds was excluded and again she didn't bother to tell him why (and I couldn't see why)Xmas Hmm

Today was their grading. I wasn't able to attend so ds's grandma went (she goes most weeks as the class finishes too late to get to after school care). She told me that he was excluded again only this time he was called up to the front of the class and told off in front of everyone (packed class as most parents had turned up to see grading).

AIBU to think it is completely out of order to tell him off this week when she has never bothered over the proceeding ten weeks?

OP posts:
MoonUnitAlpha · 10/12/2010 20:57

Why was he being excluded? Didn't you ask?

kaiserfootmuff · 10/12/2010 20:59

blimey very odd, i would have questioned right at the start honestly

did he get to do the grading even?

PaisleyLeaf · 10/12/2010 21:00

It sounds like you haven't got the whole story. What was he getting told off for when grandma was there?
That's rotten to get told off in front of a large audience - yanbu there.
Didn't the teacher answer you when you asked on the phone why he was being excluded?

MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:00

On the phone she said that he has to sit still. However last week he was excluded and I was watching and still had no idea why - neither did he. She teaches another class straight after so no opportunity to talk to her and ask. From what I can gather ds is one of three that is excluded for at least part of the lesson every week.

OP posts:
scarletbegonia · 10/12/2010 21:01

What did the teacher say when you asked why he was being excluded?

MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:02

No grandma is there every week, or I am if I'm home early. Very large audience this week obviously.

No problem with him being told off but when we spoke on the phone I queried her ability to teach a class of 17 and wondered whether the exclusions were more about crowd control (which was suggested to me by others who were watching).

OP posts:
Ingles2 · 10/12/2010 21:03

why on earth do you let him continue then Mollie?
It sounds like this karate teacher has no clue or desire to teach him and prefers to take the easy crappy option of excluding him. And you pay for this?
Why? She sounds crap!
Take him somewhere else if he wants to continue.

PaisleyLeaf · 10/12/2010 21:04

Are they all on the same grading? - he's not sitting out of bits that higher level children might be doing?

panettoinydog · 10/12/2010 21:09

So why is he being exlcuded? I haven't heard the answer yet

thenightsky · 10/12/2010 21:14

DH teaches a karate class. I would get an opinion from him for you if he was here, but he's out on works xmas do tonight.

I must say, I do know that a class of 17 is too much for one sensei to deal with and teach properly though.

where in the country are you OP and what style karate is it? I ask coz DH may know the club.

cumfy · 10/12/2010 21:14

OP:
he was called up to the front of the class and told off

Told off ... for what ?

panettoinydog · 10/12/2010 21:15

sensei makes me lol

MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:22

Told off this week for fiddling with his belt. Fair enough but why not tell him off other weeks? Instead he is told to go and sit at the side.

He won't be continuing next term. They are all at the same level although obviously some pick it up quicker than others. Ds is no karate star but her style of teaching leaves a lot to be desired.

panettoinydog I don't know why it happens every week. I know one week it was because he wasn't sitting still and this week it is because he fiddled with his belt. If the teacher doesn't tell him and takes another class straight after his there isn't much I nor his grandma can do to ask.

It is interesting that those who do karate elsewhere have made huge progress compared to the ones in this class - second year of karate and they are on orange belts. Ds got a purple star today (not sure if that is even part of a grading and seems a waste of £15 to me).

OP posts:
Bingtata · 10/12/2010 21:27

She sounds like a rubbish teacher. Does she give warnings or anything to him? I heart DD's Taekwondo teacher - he is fabulous with the children and they adore him. When we went for the first grading, there was another teacher there and you could see a clear difference in the way she was with the children.

Have you even been told what the purple star was for? We get detailed explanations of all awards.

cumfy · 10/12/2010 21:29

Sounds like DS might be being picked on.

If there are other classes, seems like a good time for a change.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 10/12/2010 21:30

When DD1 went to karate the only thing they were excluded for was hurting someone on purpose when sparring.

Fidgeting or messing about might get them a mild telling off.

The other thing they sit out for is when higher gradings were doing their stuff, so the lower grades just watched them.

A lot of the moving up the grades early on seemed to me to be to bolster their enthusiasm.

thenightsky · 10/12/2010 21:30

Molli - I wouldnt like to accuse her of being a rubbish teacher... 17 is big number to teach single handed.

You really need to speak to her about these exclusions though.

What style karate is it and where are you? My DH may know the teacher. PM me if you want.

merrycompo · 10/12/2010 21:32

maybe write a letter to the co-ordinator?
definitely take him out asap
his self esteem must be in tatters Sad

MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:42

I think they should limit the class size. In yr 1 there were two classes, this year they have combined both classes but the total number is about the same.

I think she is a rubbish teacher but I'm not a qualified karate teacher so didn't feel able to comment. The few classes I've attended I have watched ds like a hawk and I'm always surprised when he is excluded. The exclusions mean he isn't allowed to participate. I assume he didn't get his grading as the note from the teacher (sent home last month) said they have to get 3 stars to get the next belt and ds only got one. Frankly I can't see why she entered him other than to make a quick £15 (cynic).

I have sent her an email copied to ds's form teacher (who is also deputy head) requesting the return of his book and asking her to ensure it is properly stamped and has a copy of the licence I paid for (in case ds wants to do karate somewhere else).

I have also said that I am impressed by ds's strength of spirit that he has wanted to attend class every week despite being treated like this. He is a very sparky 6 yr old.

He also does judo at school and the judo teacher's attitude couldn't be more different - lovely man and has the right amount of strict discipline and fun.

OP posts:
QuickLookBusySanta · 10/12/2010 21:46

I would remove him.

Any kind of teacher who "excludes" a child, without a]giving a warning first and b]telling them what they have done wrong, really shouldn't be teaching.

Dansmommy · 10/12/2010 21:51

"The exclusions mean he isn't allowed to participate. I assume he didn't get his grading as the note from the teacher (sent home last month) said they have to get 3 stars to get the next belt and ds only got one. Frankly I can't see why she entered him other than to make a quick £15 (cynic)."

But why did you allow him to enter if you knew this? If you are watching and can see that he has done nothing wrong, why are you letting this continue? I wouldn't care about the next class, I'd insist the teacher took a few minutes to discuss it! At the very least, I'd have made time to speak to her before the next class.

MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:52

I did get the form teacher to watch the lesson one week but the teacher knew she was there and on her best behaviour. That week ds got sent out because of an 'absolutely dreadful blister' on his toe. I was there, had a look (bit of flaky skin) laughed and sent him straight back. Interestingly no one was excluded that week!

He won't be going back. I know of some others who aren't continuing either.

The karate style is Shotokan. There are some other places ds can go if he wants to continue but obviously not as convenient as doing it at school.

OP posts:
MollieO · 10/12/2010 21:56

Her next class is waiting as soon as ours is finished and the boys from that class go straight in as ours are leaving. She always overruns too.

I assumed that she wouldn't let pupils do the grading who weren't capable of passing. Seems odd that this doesn't appear to have been the case. I can't see why she would put pupils forward for a grading who had no hope of getting it.

Frankly he has only continued because it is an after school activity and once they commit to the activity they cannot switch mid term. I have complained to the school but they say that she has been teaching there for years and everyone is very happy with her (I know that is not true!). Ds was keen to continue despite her treatment of him. I have put my foot down now though and told him he won't be continuing there next term.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 10/12/2010 22:00

I would ask the sensei about this TBH. Never heard of this 'star' system either. And two years to get to orange is a long time.

joydivisionovengloves · 10/12/2010 22:02

What part of the country are you in? I may be able to recommend a new club. Karate is a brilliant thing for kids to do. It was the best thing I did as a kid and it's now doing my DS the world of good.

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