Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cry like a little girl?

30 replies

redflag · 10/12/2010 13:04

My Dad just called me and told me my nan passed away this morning. I should feel grateful she had a long and happy life lasting until her eldest granddaughter was 26 but i feel so sad for her, and all the time she still should have left

My poor poor nanny Sad

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 10/12/2010 13:05

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss.

JosieRosie · 10/12/2010 13:05

Very very sorry redflag. Is anyone with you?

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 10/12/2010 13:08

YADNBU - You are never too old to die or too old to grieve.

A nice warm drink and a good sob will do you good. Sorry for your loss.

Dexterrocks · 10/12/2010 13:09

Oh that is sad news. I am very sorry. Cry your heart out - it is much healthier in the long run.

Original poster
redflag · 10/12/2010 13:10

Thank you both.

I have a full house today, boys are both ill so they are off school. i just feel a tad numb, she has been ill for a few weeks now, and we only managed to see her 3 or times as they live far away, ad constant illness from us all. Feeling very guilty for that too.

M poor Dad though, he is devastated.

OP posts:
JosieRosie · 10/12/2010 13:11

Glad you're not alone. It's horrible news and seems very unfair at any age. Hugs x

VinegarTinselTits · 10/12/2010 13:14

YANBU at all, so sorry for your loss Sad

Lizzylou · 10/12/2010 13:15

I agree that a good cry is in order, don't feel guilty.

Original poster
redflag · 10/12/2010 13:16

Thanks everyone for getting back to me, a good cry and a tea (DH insisted) has made me feel better, she was very unhappy after her stroke at being unable to speak and use her arm, so perhaps she wanted to go.

OP posts:
midori1999 · 10/12/2010 13:20

I am so sorry for your loss.

I lost my Nan last year and also didn't get to see her before she died as we didn't realise how ill she was and she lives far away.

I am glad you're not alone at this time. A good cry is normal. [hugs] (whether un MN like or not)

JamieLeeCurtis · 10/12/2010 13:21

Perhaps she did. I do think some people let go when they have had enough. I miss both my nans, one of whom died a few years ago at 97. It's a very special relationship.

It hits their children hard, to, no matter what the relationship was like.

Raise a toast to her at Christmas. She'll be with you.

PortlyBlackSantaUpAChimney · 10/12/2010 13:30

My Grandad died just before Christmas last year (he loved Christmas) and we lit a festive candle to him and had it burning over Christmas.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 10/12/2010 13:37

I lost my nanny 13 years ago and I still miss her soooo much :(
My mum rang me to say she had passed away - there wasn't enough time for me to go down and see her. On the plus side, she had all her children with her including my Aunty who was visiting from SA.

Redflag - I am so sorry for your loss, cry if you need to, don't bottle it up inside. And try to remember all the happy times you have shared with her.

gothelen · 10/12/2010 15:58

I still have one of my grandmas but the other one passed away when DD(now 11) was 6 weeks old. Even now I get emo about her not seeing DD grow up or ever getting to meet DS(2) because she would have thought he was a little cracker. I would have loved to see them with her; baking, cooking fry ups, going to the football and trips to Blackpool like I did when I was a kid. Sad

YANBU at all OP, take care of yourself over the coming days, weeks and months.

AliBellandthe40jingles · 10/12/2010 16:05

YANBU - I wept like a baby for days when my Grandma died, and 3.5 years on it still makes me :(

I am so sorry for your loss, look after yourself and do all the crying and grieving you need to. ((hugs))

zukiecat · 11/12/2010 14:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChippingIn · 11/12/2010 15:27

How could you do anything else :(

((HUGS))

RunawayChristmasTree · 11/12/2010 15:31

Sorry for your Loss redflag xxxx

PressureDrop · 11/12/2010 15:32

I'm so sorry for your loss, redflag. I bawled my eyes out when I lost my gran. She was 87 yrs old and had had a long, happy life, but it didn't make losing her any easier.

Take time to grieve. She was your nan, you loved her. ((hugs))

Vallhala · 11/12/2010 15:33

I'm so sorry for your loss. I've been there and know how much it hurts.

Thinking of you.

Val x

2madboys · 11/12/2010 15:51

My Grandad died 11 years ago at the age of 92. I still feel sad and sometimes well up when I think of him but also have a laugh at the funny things he used to do/say. His funeral was also rather like that - plenty of tears, but also lovely viennese waltz music playing that he loved and lots of laughs afterwards at my Mum's house. Hope you can all do the same.

CheerfulYank · 11/12/2010 16:10

Oh, honey! Cry all you want. My Grandpa died years ago. A few weeks ago, I was unwrapping the snowbaby figurines he used to give me every Christmas and I started to cry.

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 11/12/2010 16:15

Feel for you redflag, perfectly normal to cry.
Miss my Granada lots xx

Original poster
redflag · 11/12/2010 17:42

Thanks everyone for getting back to me, you have all been very kind x

My Dad is an awful worry now, he told my grandfather that it should have been him. My grandfather agreed and they had a cry together, i think my Dad is unravelling Sad going to have to keep a close eye on him.

OP posts:
JamieLeeCurtis · 12/12/2010 17:50

Oh I'm sorry about your dad Sad. My dad had 2 bouts of depression following his aunt and his mum's deaths. I think it hits hard that they are the "older generation now" - their own mortality comes into sharp focus, alongside the normal grief for a loss.

Really good that he can cry though. I think that is a good sign.