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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask my DP to miss his office party...

41 replies

TrippleBerryFairy · 10/12/2010 12:36

... and come home early today as I am ill (fever 39-40C) and alone at home with DS and have to look after him? My whole body aches...

He hasn't replied to my text yet so AIBU?

OP posts:
wintersnow · 10/12/2010 12:38

No yanbu, I would do the same thing, hope you feel better soon

Clayhead · 10/12/2010 12:39

No, YANBU

I had to do this years ago when the dc were babies. It's just bad luck.

booyhohoho · 10/12/2010 12:40

yanbu. you are ill, would he be happy for you to go out if he was ill and looking after ds?

Original poster
TrippleBerryFairy · 10/12/2010 12:41

I am getting pissed off with him - no answer for an hour!
I that was him, I would think screw the party and come home...

OP posts:
biglips · 10/12/2010 12:43

had the party started yet?

How old is your Ds?

If it was me, i wouldnt tell dp to come home early as its a xmas party that happens once a year (but he only goes out about 2 - 3 times a year).

A few weeks ago, I was sooo ill with tonsillitis (1st time) and my dd1 who is 6 caught scarlet fever at the same time. She was off school for 6 days and also had to look after my dd2 who is 2 and she was fine. I just put loads of movies on for the kids and had munchies Grin.

TattytinsellooksDevine · 10/12/2010 12:47

Depends how old he is (your son I mean)

See if it were me 6 months ago with my children's ages as they were then, I'd beg him to come home. Whereas, fast forward 6 months to now, and I'd just practice "borderline neglect" (!) where you do the absolute bare minimum, from your bed, to include DVD's and just lie there with your eyes closed (they get bored of poking you eventually and go and play), not bath them, call for a pizza, that kind of thing.

YANBU if your son needs a lot of "care" at this age.

Original poster
TrippleBerryFairy · 10/12/2010 12:49

DS is 1.5. Maybe I am a little bit overreacting but I soo would like to just wrap myself up in a blanket and sleep all day...

Oh well, he is not responding so DS will have to enjoy CBeebies all day long...

OP posts:
biglips · 10/12/2010 12:50

does your ds still have his naps? as if yes, put him to bed and you go to bed too. it is horrible being ill and hope u will get well v soon.

defineme · 10/12/2010 12:53

Does he have to go straight to the party?

Dh would probably come home, sort kids out, make me a lemsip and go out-as would I!

Have you any relatives/friends you can call on?

My dh hardly goes out, works hard, is a brilliant hands on dad and I'd be sorry he had to miss a party.

I have lain in bed before now with twin babies crawling around-I'm not a martyr, but there are so many times when you have to miss work cos the kids are ill/inset days and so on, if you had you had to miss work when your partner was ill you'd be off a lot!

Can you not see how you feel after a bath and some medicine?

How old is ds?

Avoidingargosthischristmas · 10/12/2010 12:53

I think YABU, it is once a year. Not ideal but you can always use it as evidence of what a reasonable and understanding wife you are in future discussions.

Not too ill to MN though? Xmas Wink

eviscerateyourmemory · 10/12/2010 12:55

I think it does depend on how much he wants to go to the party, and how important it is - if it is something that he has been looking forward to for a long time then I would go with the option of doing as little as possible. Does your DS still sleep in the day? There probably arent that many hours of him being awake left in the day, and you can go to sleep as soon as he does.

Meglet · 10/12/2010 12:56

yanbu.

Original poster
TrippleBerryFairy · 10/12/2010 13:00

Avoid - DS is napping at the moment hence I'm on MN! Grin
I sent DP a sarcastic text as got upset. Not sure that was necessary now. Oh well, my excuse will be I was a mess...

OP posts:
jeee · 10/12/2010 13:01

My DH would be delighted to have an excuse to miss the work christmas party....

sparks · 10/12/2010 13:15

YANBU to ask, but he would also NBU to refuse if it's important to him.

traceybath · 10/12/2010 13:19

I think you are being a bit unreasonable assuming this is something your DH is looking forward to.

Just put cbeebies on and snuggle on the sofa - its unfortunate but unless you are so ill that you literally can't get out of bed then I'd let him enjoy the party and would hope he'd do the same for me.

Hope you feel better soon.

SerendipitousHarlot · 10/12/2010 13:27

I also think YAB a bit U - how often does he go out? Really him being there wouldn't make any difference to how you feel - do you have medicine and stuff?

VinegarTinselTits · 10/12/2010 13:30

YABU cant you ring a friend or family member to come round? unless you are dying i think you will cope, you cant be that ill if you can MN

Ephiny · 10/12/2010 13:32

YANBU, it sounds like you have more than just a sniffle, so he should stay home and look after your DS. I'd expect my DP to do that (not that he needs much excuse to miss a work do) and I'd happily do the same for him.

DreamTeamGirl · 10/12/2010 13:37

More info needed

Does is he want to go- is he very excited? Has it cost a small fortune? Doe she go out much?

FWIW as a single parent I have not had a P to call on for over 4 years now, and have only had 2 occasions when I have had to call in back up. When his dad was here I would have probably felt liek you do now tho

Hope you feel better anyway, rotten when you feel rough & they need stuff

maktaitai · 10/12/2010 13:37

TBH if you are well enough to MN then you are probably well enough to shove on a DVD. At a push, ask a friend to take your child for an hour or two? And if you have no one in your network who can do that, then make some plans on how to get some.

While your child is napping, quick, get to bed. Now.

GetOrfMoiLand · 10/12/2010 13:39

I would just settle down with a blanket in front of the TV - sounds like you only have a bit of a cold.

No need to make a song and dance. Worse things happen at sea.

Hope you feel better soon.

LeQueen · 10/12/2010 14:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SantasENormaSnob · 10/12/2010 14:39

Yabu

maddy68 · 10/12/2010 14:43

OMG YABVU, seriously, I would never expect my oh to miss the office xmas party becasue I was ill. Just cope.
How do you think single parents manage?