to ask my DP to miss his office party...

[TrippleBerryFairy]

... and come home early today as I am ill (fever 39-40C) and alone at home with DS and have to look after him? My whole body aches...

He hasn't replied to my text yet so AIBU?

YABU. Let him go and enjoy himself. By tonight your DC will be tucked up in bed asleep and you can be too. I know it is horrible looking after children when you are ill but if I was in your DPs position I wouldn't be happy.

39-40 is not a "bit of a cold". That is a very high fever in an adult, more typical of flu, especially with the aching all over.

A party is a party. We are not children. He should come home and look after his family.

if you're well enough to post on here you can't be that ill

Not ill enough! De-frost food, snuggle under blanket. Make sure he get up to look after you even with a hangover in the morning. My DH never looks at his mobile ever! I know I have to get on with it or phone my Sis,Brother (useless) or Mum. DH isn't the only person that loves me

I agree with the poster who said YANBU to ask, but he is NBU to go either.

However I know that when I get the flu or a throat infection (am stupidly prone to them) and my temp rockets up to 39-40 I faint a lot as my blood pressure is typically low. So I would also want some tlc and help watching my DD. Could he not come home for a bit and then when your LO is in bed go out? Could that not work as a compromise?

I also think the argument of "how do you think single parents manage" etc is irrelevent as the OP is not a single parent.

Agree more info needed.

Is the office party also a client event? If so, YABU as the expectation will be high for your DH to attend and host.

If it's just a few drinks in the pub for the team then perhaps he can go along for one and come home early to look after you.

But if your DS is 1.5 surely he'll be in bed by 7 anyway? So is what you are really asking 'AIBU to ask DH to come home from work early to help with DS this afternoon as I'm really sick?' If yes, then YANBU if you're bedbound, but surely he could go back out to the office party once DS is in bed?

Thanks for your replies, feeling much better now. DPs parents came round for a few hours and the day is nearly over (thank god).

I agree with both those who said YABU and those YANBU... I was a bit scared but now that my temp is down I am ok!

YABU. But glad you got some help today.

I'd be in the YABU camp as well, but I'm not trying to pile on as I see you're feeling a bit better now. I know when I am feeling ill with aches and a fever I'd rather be doing anything but trying to look after anyone else! But I'd be inclined to let my husband have his party, and pass the torch to him as soon as he enters the house again.

Glad to hear you're feeling better!

glad you feeling a bit better

Oh yes, let him look after the toddler with a hangover while you laze about in bed 'recovering'

tee hee

Glad you got some help.

I understand its awful when you feel ill, but as a single parent I do know you can do it. I know some people say its different because you don't have a DP/H to call but its essentially the fact it can be done, and you don't feel able. I wouldn't have asked my ex-p to miss it though.

I am guessing, I may be wrong, that you do not work so I can understand why his xmas party isn't as important to you as it is to him.

YABU, at least where I work and where DH works, it would be considered awful form to miss the xmas party.

Unless you are seriously ill, as in , need to go to hospital I think you have to suck it up or ask a friend to help you with the dcs.

Hope you feel better soon

I am glad you are feeling better, or beginning to. Single parents do have to handle things, so although I totally sympathize, for a once a year thing, it is best to let him decide for himself whether of not to skip the party.

I would probably have asked him once, but not pressed it.

Unless your child is in danger of neglect due to you falling asleep or being too ill to tend to their needs.