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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think people take the whole boy/girl baby clothes thing much too seriously?

70 replies

MotherofHobbit · 09/12/2010 19:22

I've been thrown into the bizarre world of Babyland after the birth of my first DC six months ago and am constantly at how much babies are stuck in little gender boxes especially with regards clothes.

Such as:
A member of my ante natal group 'had to' give away a whole bag of new clothes and buy new ones because she had a girl and not a boy.

Another was very amused because a family member was silly enought to buy her DD a very expensive designer shirt which was actually a boy's shirt. This was also given away as not suitable.

An woman on the street was horrified when I told her DS was a boy even though his little sun hat had a bow on it (horror!)

And finally (okay, okay this is the DM) but:

really?

Aaarrggh! They're babies! Is it really so horrifying to dress your little girl in blue, or boy in pink?

OP posts:

LeakMyWiki · 10/12/2010 14:07

I think people are generally more relaxed about girls in boy clothes rather than the other way round.

The bow on your ds sunhat is obv fine to you, but would you put him in a skirt or a dress with equal equanimity?

Ephiny · 10/12/2010 14:11

It wasn't that long ago that all babies (girls and boys) were put in dresses, was it? I don't mean 100s of years ago, I mean my parents generation!

I'd rather see that than baby boys dressed up like little soldiers in khakhi or looking thuggish in jeans and leather (!) jackets.

Don't get why we can't just have general 'children's clothing' at that age, and why it's so important to emphasise and highlight the baby's gender, especially in such a crude and stereotypical way.

cakeywakey · 10/12/2010 14:12

I hate the pink shoe brigade as well. I did manage to get DD some gorgeous gold mary-janes once, she actually had them twice in a row as they went with everything - marvellous!

Pink shoes wouldn't look great with her Star Wars t-shirt today, or any of the other 'boys' tops that she has .

I do wish that clothing manufacturers would use a little more imagination with the colours and styles of their clothes. It's all going a bit ELC toy classification for my liking. Like others have said, there are other colours apart from pink and blue.

BarbiesBeaver · 10/12/2010 14:21

Perhaps buy these?

RockinRobinBird · 10/12/2010 14:39

Seriously fucked up? Really? I thought we were still talking about clothes, not matters of life or death.

There is a world of difference between dressing your children in gender neutral clothes and militantly putting your son in a dress because why the hell shouldn't I? The former is sensible, the latter smacks of needing something else to think about.

The only people who get wound up by the pink blue issue seem to be on here. No one else gives a toss and buys what they like. DD has girly pink clothes and colourful clothes and some boy clothes. I buy what I like or in the case of her bob the builder t shirt, what she would like. I really couldn't give two tosses what people think of what she wears. If this baby is a boy then I will recycle whichever of dd's clothes are suitable. But I'm not going to put him in flowers and bows. I don't need any pats on the back for being free thinking.

frgr · 10/12/2010 14:49

yanbu

they're just pieces of cloth. i never really cared about the gender-specific way we view this piece of fabric or that piece, until i had kids

it really grates on me now! MIL insisted she return some things becuase "they're not girly enough", despite my protests that a light green tshirt is fine! massive waste of effort and petrol money to exchange them because society dictates they weren't in "girl" colours

stupid, imho

monkeyflippers · 10/12/2010 14:54

I was in a shop the other day looking at welly boots and a man wouldn't let his 2 year old son have yellow boots with diggers on (in the boys section) as he said yellow was a girls colour. He also wouldn't let him have the red Thonas one's for the same reason. Bizarre! I get rather fed up with the limits in boy colours, as though if you put them in a remotely warm colour they will look like a girl or will (as I've heard said) turn out gay!

TwinklePants · 10/12/2010 14:55

To be honest, its not so much the sticking to specific colours that bothers me so much as the way a lot of childrens clothes seem so grown up these days. I am pregnant with my first and went into Next yesterday browsing around the childrens section - some of the outfits (boys and girls) were to my eye basically scaled down versions of adult clothes. That's ok when they're getting a bit older, but a baby in chinos and a formal shirt?

I vowed to have my little one in bodysuits and vests as long as possible!

surfandturf · 10/12/2010 15:01

Here you can have my 1st

It doesn't bother me what people dress their DCs in as long as they're clean!

Much as I try to get DD to wear pretty dresses she insists on wearing DS's clothes including underpants!

roundthehouses · 10/12/2010 15:06

It´s not horrifying to dress your baby in colours stereotypically assigned to the opposite gender but no, I wouldn´t dress my son in a dress or a overtly girly frilly cardigan, for example. I am not bothered about pink, my son LOVES pink as do many little boys of his age (3), he has pink headphones that he chose himself and the other day he insisted on buying a pink bracelet and necklace set with his pocket money which he then wore quite proudly.

I thought if ds2 was a girl I would say to hell with all the gender stereotyping and resist buying new clothes and just reuse ds1´s stuff. In the end, as I reviewed a king size bed covered in khaki trousers, jeans, navy jumpers and t-shirts with dinosaurs on them I did thank god it was a boy because although i wouldn´t have thrown it all out and started again I am SURE I´d have wanted some nice girly things thrown into the mix. I am glad we don´t have to buy a whole load of new stuff because inevitably I would have - Boys clothes are BORING!

jessiealbright · 10/12/2010 15:10

MotherofHobbit, I'm glad it wasn't just me having trouble finding brimmed hats.

Before I had children, I used to wonder why I saw small boys in baseball caps, while their female peers wore brimmed sunhats. When I had children, and went shopping for children's clothes I found that that was what shops tended to stock: baseball caps with perhaps a rolldown neckshield, and sunhats obviously intended for girls.

Now, meaningless rules about colours are bad enough, but differences in quality of sun-protection gear?

motherinferior · 10/12/2010 15:11

DD1 spent her entire first 18 months in the castoffs from the baby my sister thoughtfully had a year before me. Who happened to be a boy.

She seems to have survived the experience of wearing blue quite unscathed.

Chynah · 10/12/2010 15:42

DD mostly wears DSs cast offs although I ocaisinally girly it up with some pink/purple t shirts. Blue actually suits her very well although she does often get referred to as a boy by strangers.

jinglesticks · 10/12/2010 15:52

YANBU - I know its only clothes but by having girls clothes and boys clothes you introduce children at a really young age to the idea that some things are just for girls and others are just for boys. I don't want dd to ever be told that there are things she isn't allowed to do because of her gender, yet I heard her cousin(a boy) tell her she shouldn't be wearing blue and wasn't allowed to play with his train because she's a girl.

I know these are little things but if our children begin accepting any sexist distinctions it doesn't help the progress of gender equality.

rant rant rant...

ToysRLuv · 10/12/2010 16:01

Whoever mentioned Scandinavian children's clothes - they are great. Complete antidote to pink and blue here in Britain (although might be slightly biased, as am Scandinavian myself ). Love Polarn O. Pyret although it's pricey. It's a bit 70's inspired, so looks like the stuff I wore as a little one (inherited stuff from friend's DS).

ullainga · 10/12/2010 16:03

YANBU. Not only color, girl clothes also have a tighter fit than boys' even though there is no reason for that. I have seen plain t-shirts for toddlers, only difference was that the girl's version was about half the size. Don't girls want to be comfortable? Or do manufacturers really think that small girls should be in tight clothes to show off their body or something?
Like in this blog: blog.pigtailpals.com/tag/clothing/

Diamondback · 10/12/2010 16:13

I don't understand posters who think the OP wants to make a big point and put her kids in nothing but gender neutral or gender-opposed clothing. All she was saying is that people shouldn't get so bent out of shape if a baby boy has pink ear protectors, or a small bow appears on a boy's hat!

I remember having loads of clothes when I was little that were definitely not masculine (pinafores, dresses, kilt-style skirts) but that were - horrors - blue! I loved my dark blue velvet pinafore with the pearl buttons and my light blue kilt and my long blue dress with cream sleeves and a red bow. I also loved my pink corduroy dress with pink gingham sleeves, but it wasn't the only colour available.

The Pink Pink Pinkness of it all is driving me crazy!

Kittyroo · 10/12/2010 16:37

YANBU
I have just been to buy my 2 year old DD some new wellies. I don't like pink and wanted to go for something neutral like green or red but oh no. The only "girls" ones on offer were pink pink or pinker pink and so I asked if I could see the "boys" ones. The shop assistant looked horrified.
I went for blue ones with stars and an astronaut on. DD loves them and my DS will be able to wear them when he is big enough. I know I shouldn't care but can't bring myself to dress DS in pink.

It's the manufacturer's fault for not making unisex stuff so they can make more money out of us gullible enough to care!!

HerculesPoiroastinOnAnOpenFire · 10/12/2010 19:23

Hurrah! I have managed to order exactly the same shoes online in navy blue with just a bit of pink on the edges. Much better. I shall be returning my shoes to the shop who only stock pink shoes for girls tomorrow.

I agree that there isn't anything wrong with girls wearing pink, but my issue is that it is soooooo hard to find clothes that aren't pink. Women's clothes aren't all pink so why should baby girls be forced to wear nothing but? I just think there should be more choice that is all. It's the same with toys - my mum was trying to buy my DD a shape sorting bus. There was one that looked like a bus - red with nice primary colours all over it and then the same bus in pink. Is that really necessary? I was starting to think that I must be the only one who who finds this ridiculous to I'm glad of this thread!

EauRudolph · 10/12/2010 19:32

Oh good, navy blue is a much more practical colour than pink! Don't know if you've heard of the Pink Stinks campaign or if it's something you'd be interested in but you might like to take a look.

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