to be unbelievably fed up with constantly asking/reminding DH?

[CrazyChristmasLady]

DH is a good man and from what my friends say, men in general are no different with the things that bug me but I am fed up to the back teeth of having to ask or remind him to do things all the bloody time.

Eg, he gets a sore throat, out come the throat sweets, cue days of me finding the wrappers left everywhere. I have asked him to put them in bin before (I shouldn't have to really) but you can guarantee there will be some left somewhere that I will end up picking up. I have tried just leaving rubbish around that he leaves, but it will just stay there until I deal with it.

I have been waiting for a certain box to go to the charity shop, it has been in our bedroom for months. Finally he is making 2 trips (that I have had to again, remind him about more than once), but as he couldn't carry this box and didn't have time this morning to nip back upstairs and pick it up (despite having been up for an hour and a half) he has said that he will take it to the tip. I usually have to remind him to go to the tip too. Last week we had cardboard boxes from flat pack furniture blocking half the kitchen for nearly 2 weeks.

We use reusable carrier bags, we keep them in the boot of the car as we have no where else to store them. He goes shopping, brings the bags in and will go in and out several times over the following days, but until I actually say "can you take them out to the car please" or get fed up and do it myself, which he will then say "I was going to do that" they will sit in the middle of the kitchen floor. I once put them in the doorway when I knew he was in and out and he just stepped right over them.

I always ask, nicey, I don't scream and shout, I get exasperated and I have told him that it is bad enough I am picking up after a toddler and I shouldn't have to after him all the time but he still does it, and gets huffy with me when I ask him! Things will improve for a few days, then it will go back to normal. I have M.E. and I am 7 months pregnant. I feel like all I do it try and keep things tidy by picking up after others. If I don't do it, the house very quickly ends up in a complete state where it will take me ages to get sorted and DH will say "just leave it" .

These are just a few examples but it is doing my fucking nut in!!!

Lordy. My DH is a saint! I do believe that I would go mad if he did this! How do you put up with it? Seriously?

I would absolutely ballistic. I am his wife and mother to his children. Not his maid!

go absolutely....

I can see both points here. It does make me laugh at read these but at the same time I want to cry sometimes. I have a 2 year old, am pregnant and I have a long term illness that isn't going to get better.

DH does do his fair share, the dishes, gets DS ready for bed, does his bath, works full time but it all the other bits in between.

Surely it isn't that difficult to put things in the designated place instead of the floor right in front!

And as for MrManager saying if we want it doing that badly, we would do it ourselves, if I was able I would, but I can't paint the ceilings or do the decorating or get stuff up and down the loft or take boxes of stuff to the tip/charity shop. There are some things that DH has to do as I can't and when I have been waiting 2 years, it gets slightly annoying!

I shamed him recently as I got my grandad down to look at our broken radiator (DH did have a go but he didn't know what to do) and my grandad fixed out leaking taps at the same time (that had been leaking from 2 years ago when we moved in and DH still hadn't fixed them. He also put some pictures up in the front room. I think DH was quite embarrassed about that.

DH did say before that he would manage on his own (I have asked him) but he also said that his bedroom at home was a mess with a path from the door to his bed to the tv and that was it. I shudder to think what the house would look like if I just left it.

Xenia i can see your point but in my case and im sure others this is akind of affectionate rant.My dh is kind gentle and loving and says and does the most lovely things even after 4 yrs.I think its just about two people being bothered by different things,i am a tidy/clean freak and he just isnt.Our "arguments" about it all are normally hysterically funny with me using high end sarcasm and him cracking up (i am so funny obviously)Eg."were you ok climbing over the stuff on the stairs i wouldnt want you to fall and break your precious neck" that kind of banter.At least he can get home to a complete tip to find me and my friends on the wine and no sign of any food and not kick off like some of the morons we read about on here.Every cloud

I done that with the magazines recently!!

I found a pile that had served no purpose, I moved them so DH could do something with them, he didn't. I put them in the recycling, he found them and fished them out again.

This was weeks and weeks ago and they are still on the kitchen side where he put them after moving them from the recycling. Yes they were clearly of vital importance!

I didn't actually intend for this to be alighthearted thread. I am genuinely pissed off about it but it is kind of nice that it has turned out that way as I know (the majority as it seems) other men are the same, and it could be worse, at least DH does do certain things, but then he has no choice really with my illness, I am unable to do everything I want to.

crazy are you nesting?cos i am big time,i want everything nice for the baby and do not require painting parapenalia al over the hosue.Although if he continues to use the spare room to store tools etc i shall be putting my bike in there,let the in laws come and stay then

xenia I don't really see how you can set yourself on a pedestal on how to marry the right man when you're clearly divorced. People are just having a light-hearted rant!

My DH used to be a bit like this but honestly when we had children it made a big difference, I didn't nag, honest, I think it was just realising that dirt can = illness and that keeping on top of things is easier than letting things build up.

When you are a couple of healthy adults you can live with a bathrooom with toothpaste built up on the sink and bins with dry food cartons piling up over a few days etc. but when you have a baby you can't leave nappies hanging about or not wash pooey clothes straight away or leave things that your child might choke on or trip on around the place.

Apart from the hygiene factor, I think he started to do more out of respect for the fact that I was already working very hard both in a job and looking after children and also through recognising that when I was ill whilst pregnant with DC2 that there was no way I could have done it.

We still have a cleaner though who always seems to have plenty to do!

offs
Put all the dirty underpants in his briefcase.
Put all the other stuff he leaves lying around including the dishes, the bins etc IN HIS CAR tell him you will do this or not your call. But, do it.
He will see, and please stop making excuses and doing for him, he needs to step up and do his share.
I despair, stop doing it all!