To think that my HV is ridiculous...

[linziluv]

I took my son, 2 yrs 7 mths to his 2 yr health check today. Everything else seems OK but as he's missing letters off words and not communicating as he "should" be for his age, my HV has insisted on referring us to speech and language therapy!
This is apparently our fault as he still occasionally has a bottle at bed time, and clearly not that children develop differently!
What did people do before SALT?! Did kids go to high school either mute or babbling like a toddler?! I think not!
Is it really wrong to find "weets" (sweets) and "ight ight mummy" really cute!!?

YANBU

IME, HVs only go by what it "normal" anything else they see as a problem. Not 3rd and Bird at all!

It is of course up to you whether you take up the appointment or not but honestly they do suffer from foot in mouth disease but the only way to change anything is to complain in writing, too many mums just sob all the way home from the clinic.

my middle son didnt talk till very late about 18 months I think.When he did talk no one could understand him except me.My mother came to visit when he was about 2 and said,as soon as she heard him,he needs his adenoids out. I spoke to his doctor who told me it was developmental and just cos ds1 was a brilliant talker not to expect ds2 to be the same. When I took him back for his 3 year check up I explained to dr it wasnt developmental he had a huge vocab and a real grasp on language,just very hard to understand. The dr shone a flashlight up his nose and said "good god he needs his adenoids out" they are huge.They were so big he literally couldnt breath and pronounce certain letter combinations at the same time.He was also physically unable to sniff or blow his nose :( which explained his constant runny nose and red top lip poor wee bugger.Had them and his giant oversized tonsils out and he was great speech wise from then on.

I had the opposite problem - battling from 18 months to get DS1 to a SALT because I knew that his speech was not developing correctly.

Eventually got seen at 3, and provision has been patchy at best, and now he has a dx of ASD, I am hearing a lot of "Oh, that's down to his ASD." I don't believe it is, I think it's a separate issue.

He misses inital sounds and does stopping, fronting and voicing - basically, saying things like "Dodder oo" for Doctor Who. He's 5.

DS2 is nearly 2 and has only got about 5 words, HV freaked out and referred him but I refused it - although he is a little slower, his speech is following the normal development pattern, so I am not yet worried about him. By this stage with DS1, it was glaringly obvious (to me) that there was a massive problem.

YABU - everyone knows that HVs have been shit since the dawn of time. In the "How to be a Parent" handbook which will have been anonymously delivered through your letterbox, it states quite clearly on page 18, paragraph 3" "Smile and nod, smile and nod".

Ds1 was first seen by SALT when he was 1yr 10months, he was referred by the HV and I'm so glad they saw a problem early as he was diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia.

He has had weekly SALT sessions ever since and now sees SALT once a week in school and has one on one in the class room every morning, hes now in Y1 and we have started the process for him to get a statement.

It wont do any harm to get on the list and you may not even need it when the time comes, but what ever you do don't just don't turn up to the appointment they are hard to get in the first place and lots of the chatter play sessions would have half the children not there as the parents didn't bother to cancel so others weren't able to take their place.

Sorry that last bit turned into a bit of a rant

OP, take the referral and go to the appointment. You don't have to like your HV, or agree with her opinion or even think she's any good but she has got you a referral which can only be a good thing.

She recognises that she's not qualified to say your dc's speech is completely normal right now, so wants a specialist's opinion.

Perhaps you wouldn't be querying it if it was another more 'medical' condition but you feel sensitive that it's a reflection on your parenting? Even if it is, some kids need help and your HV is helping you get that.

FFS -

Imagine in a years time, your DS possibly has real speech problems. I can only imagine the complaints from you if your HV had not referred you at this point.

Of course, he will probably be fine. But aren't you glad that there are HCPs out there doing their job? Apparently not

I reiterate...it's not really about the referral as much as how she came across! So many non-HVs on here have explained loads and have eased my mind. Is it that unreasonable to expect my HV to not panic me?!

So write and complain about it, do something.

linzi - this is not what you say in your OP. You basically say that SALT's are pointless as there was no call for them in the past.

You do not complain in your OP about the way that you were spoken to, simply that your DS misspeaking is "cute" and that she should not have offered you a referral.

My son had SALT, from an early, it was me who noticed the problem, and contacted our HV[she is great], she referred DS. He went on to half day school, and attended the I CAN there. He really did come on leaps and bounds, in a matter of months, he is 7 now, and doing fab

panic you linziluv? its a speech and lauguage problem, not a terminal illness DS will be fine

sorry haven't read the full thread, but I'll just let you know what happened to me - at 24 month check up my DS had some speech delay and wouldn't even attempt the tasks she wanted him to do with bricks and looking at a book, he was just was his usual uncooperative self.. HV said "well if you are concerned I can refer you to paediatrician for further investigation" she didn't push me on it and I am afraid I am such a clutz that I didn't realise there was anything to be worried about - he was good at numbers and sorting when he felt like it. I just needed to be a bit more 'super nanny'

We found out after quite a bit of difficulty at school that he has a form of autism.

Other than the hassle of getting to the appointments - what is there to lose?

My OP is as it is...as the thread grew it started to make me realize what my actual issue was, which was HVs approach.
"panic" was perhaps the wrong word...I can be rather a drama queen!
I know he will be fine...as his mum I just know. There are no problems with listening or concentration and no more uncooperative than a normal 2yr old!
I love reading it but I reckon I'll not post in AIBU again...I'm far too hyper sensitive!
Just to clarify, I don't think SALT is pointless, and I think I spend too much time with my lovely-"in my day we didn't have....."-nanna lol!
Obviously I understand the whole multidisciplinary approach in my chosen career! The HV can only go off "normal" milestones and have to adhere to strict polices...and particularly when it comes to our most precious thing, they can't afford to overlook any child.
I think I was just well and truly pissed off with her...I don't feel the same today!

My sister is a SALT and he pet gripe is parents thinking its cut when children don't speak properly - because they don't correct them reinforcing the incorrect pronounciation.

In anycase you don't have to the see the HV or SALT. I have never bothered going to see HV after 6 months, can't see any point.

The bedtime bottle is a dental health issue, is he doesn't have his teeth brushed afterwards.

He's linking words together fine. "there's daddy's car"..."I wanna see daddy"...he's just not talking in sentences properly.