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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to hate christmas

47 replies

superv1xen · 07/12/2010 16:08

i really wish i didnt, but i do!

i hate everything about it. the money you have to spend on countless christmas presents, the deciding what to get people, the shopping for presents (even though i have done most of mine online i still have had to buy certain things from actual shops) the wrapping of the presents, the crowds everywhere - even just doing your weekly shop in sainsburys its bloody rammed, the stresses about where to spend xmas and who with (i am very annoyed because my family are in gloucestershire 100 miles away and DP doesnt want to go to them because its too far and they live in a farmhouse so its really cold there, yet we are seeing HIS family and i dont like his mum them Angry i dont even like putting the decorations up because they just get in the way then you have to take them down anyway, and above all i hate the way its SOOOO COLD :(

i am horrible aren't i? :( i so WANT to like it for my kids sake but i just dread it and hate it.

its just me isn't it?

OP posts:
Ephiny · 07/12/2010 16:20

I don't hate it, but the only way I manage not to hate it is by not doing anything I hate. So I don't buy lots of presents (just something small like a scarf for DP and box of chocs or similar for parents if I'm seeing them on xmas day, they do the same for me). I usually go to a winter solstice ritual, but don't bother putting up decorations or cooking anything I don't normally, and will not spend the day with anyone I don't like. You just have to stand up for yourself and not be bullied into anything that makes you unhappy.

I actually quite like the cold and the snow (I love all the seasons actually, so glad we have them!), do hate the crowded shops though, very annoying when you're just trying to get around Sainsbury's with usual little basket and get stuck in the queue behind people buying enough to last a 3 year siege...

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 07/12/2010 16:29

I didn't grow up with Christmas. We didn't celebrate it, it was just something that went on around us, part of the national culture. We enjoyed watching it, but were never part of it. And that was fine.

For the last 14y, since I've been with dh who celebrates Christmas, I've had to do so as well. At first it was fun - after all, giving and re diving presents is very nice. But, quite frankly, I Have Had Enough.

It is so pressured, so full of opportunities to get it wrong, so many family anxieties, so crassly commercialised. And as all our dc are autumn or winter babies, it comes at the end of a run of parties and presents, so there isn't even a growing excitement...more of a celebration-fatigue.

I'm no Scrooge. I don't want to spoil the fun for anybody else. I just don't want to have to do it myself.

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 07/12/2010 16:30

BTW, YANBU.
:o

newwave · 07/12/2010 16:31

I love it, long long break from work. After Christmas day plenty of time to relax until I return to work on Jan 5th.

Long cold walks followed by meals and drinks in the pub. Staying up until very late and getting up at whatever time I like.

Able to spend all morning reading the papers if I want.

Visits to friends and relatives.

Whats not to like

AnyFuckerForAMincePie · 07/12/2010 16:32

I hate Xmas too

Utterly wish it did not exist, mostly for financial and (dysfunctional) family reasons.

I like mince pies, though < sigh >

Kirk1 · 07/12/2010 16:34

It's not just you. If I get another person tell me "well it's for the kids though, isn't it?" I swear I'm going to punch them. I don't believe in god, I don't worship Jesus, I don't see why I should over-eat, over-spend and teach the kids that's the right thing to do "because it's christmas" just because someone decided that this particular imaginary friend is more important than the others in this country.

I take comfort from being told that Diwali is the same in India, so it's not just "Christian" countries that are nuts....

Bunbaker · 07/12/2010 16:35

I don't hate Christmas, but I don't love it either. I don't like the long holiday over the Christmas period as it is during the coldest, darkest time of year. I hate all the clutter that Christmas brings and wait until the last possible moment before I do the Christmas tree.

I don't get these people that put their tree up on the 1st December.

We have a very small, very scattered family and I always get the feeling that everyone else is having a better time than we are.

whensteaready · 07/12/2010 16:39

I hate Christmas too and I hate the fact that a lot of people cant understand why I feel like this. I hate the stress of food shopping etc and I hate having to spend so much time with family sitting round over warm houses stuffing yourself with food. What I hate the most though is the relentless misery of January. I am a happy little soul arent I!

newwave · 07/12/2010 16:41

Miserable sods :o

AllGoodNamesGone · 07/12/2010 16:52

I find a lot of it pretty stress inducing and, like you, really wish I did enjoy it more Sad

If I had a house elf, I am sure I would love it!

Some bits of it are OK I guess Hmm

Kaloki · 07/12/2010 17:00

YANBU, I hate it too.

I really suffer with SAD/depression and it's much worse over Xmas and New Years mainly because of the fact so many people will not accept that it isn't great for you, and so want to force you to cheer up. Which has always been guaranteed to blacken the mood further.

There's a thread in mental health about it actually.

LaurieFairyonthetreeEatsCake · 07/12/2010 17:00

You have to make Christmas the way YOU want it.

Don't do things you don't want - at all! unless you have really and truly made a choice and come to terms with it.

Get dh to buy presents if he wants. Put up easy decorations that you like and that are easy to take down - don't bother with some giant tree if you don't want to (or have one outside with lights on)

Buy the food you like/buy some nice bath oil (baths heat you up), get a wheat bag or hot water bottle for the bed.

Seriously, you have to make it for YOU too.

I do Christmas the way I like it, and I compromise so that dd and dh get what they need. And I don't put up with hassle in my house - eg. my lovely MIL was trying to pressure me to have Crimbo dinner ready madly early and I just said NO, it will be ready at 3 as that's when I know I will want to serve it.

Why don't you go to your family and he go to his - it doesn't mean you have split up you know - it just means you want different things on one day of the year.

ShanahansRevenge · 07/12/2010 17:01

YABU. It's about a chance to give....no only gifts but joy. To be kind to people and make an extra effort.

Olifin · 07/12/2010 17:04

I could have written most of your post OP, except that I like the cold (as long as it's not raining!)

I loathe the run-up to xmas and usually get quite depressed and anxious about it. The day itself, I usually quite enjoy, largely because I like food and alcohol so very much. Then I get depressed again after Christmas too.

This year, I was really honest with OH for the first time about how much I dread Christmas (it's not the sort of thing you want to talk to people about, is it really, given how most people would react) and he was very nice about it and responded positively to my suggestion that we save up so that we and the kids can bugger off on holiday one Xmas. No presents, no shopping, no relentless shite xmas music in shops, no family politics, no rooms full of discarded packaging..... Grin

Onetoomanycornettos · 07/12/2010 17:05

I don't really like it either as unlike my efficient and organized friends, I don't have all my presents bought and wrapped, I don't like cooking (let alone a Christmas dinner) and I get to see a lot of my family on a weekly basis anyway, so it's not more family-based than my everyday life. But I am aware that's a bit miserable. I might try to think what I would like to do over Christmas and do it. But it seems to me like a vast 'project' to be done successfully, and every year I feel like I'm doing it at the last minute and not very well.

But, I did love it as a child, so will continue as I know my children love it!

SeaTrek · 07/12/2010 17:06

YANBU but I think there are certain things you can do to enjoy/manage it more.

These are some of the things I have started doing (or not doing!) in the last couple of years that have helped enormously!

  1. Stopped buying presents for people other than my own DC and parents (I am trying to stop that but they cling on, and I can live with it!). DH buys for his own parents. This year is the first time I am also not buying for children also (I will buy these children pressies as and when I see them).
  1. Stopped sending cards to people I will SEE to say Merry Christmas to. Reciprocate other cards as and when they come in rather than sitting down to a whole pile.
  1. Put cards straight into the recycling bin when I recieve then (I spent years moaning about displaying them/getting in the way/taking them down before I realised I could do this!)
  1. Stopped wrapping my DC's presents in paper. I have built up a good stock of nice fabric bags/stocking and santa sacks over the last through years. They like opening the presents just as much - no mess, no hassle!

Probably more but you get the idea!

Wish I could do something about the terrible December shopping trips to the supermarket!

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 07/12/2010 17:06

Yanbu to hate it

Yabu to let your children know you hate it !

TheChewyToffeeMum · 07/12/2010 17:07

I agree - just pick and choose what you want you do.

I choose to buy low price pressies (almost all bought online). I don't do cards any more as they were really stressing me out.

On the other hand, I love baking and crafts - so we do alot of fudge etc for gifts. I enjoy planning the meal but it is more about quality then quantity and an opportunity to eat things we wouldn't normally bother with.

Like many others, I suffer from SAD and I find this pared down Christmas is actually quite therapeutic.

Brighterlife · 07/12/2010 17:15

YANBU I hate it too.
I'm sure I would enjoy the 'festive' period more if it weren't rammed down our necks form october! (sometimes sooner)

I want to enjoy it for the sake of ds (who is actually too young to know about it) but I just find it so stressful, and the socialising with the in-laws yach!

PrettyCandlesAndTinselToo · 07/12/2010 17:33

One thing that is going to make the run-up to Christmas easier this year is that I've booked an Ocado delivery in the week before. I'll still have to do a RL shop for fresh veg and milk, but it means that I don't have to do the big weekly shop with 3dc in tow. That would be stressful at any time!

mistletoekisses · 07/12/2010 17:53

Awww, OP. I feel for you.

I am the polar opposite and love christmas and everything that comes with it. The christmas lights, carols, foods, snow, christmas tree, presents...

It is such a shame that what should be a lovely time of year is ruined for you. Is there anything you can do to make it a more fun time?

anothermum92 · 07/12/2010 18:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

ilovesooty · 07/12/2010 18:14

I hate Christmas with a passion. All the crappy build up, stress and expense for one day. In fact, I think Oliver Cromwell had the right idea. YANBU.

poshsinglemum · 07/12/2010 18:27

Just take the best from it. I think of it as the opportunity to create some lovely memories for dd like the ones I had and that pleases me.
Yes; it;'s over commercialised but how grim would winter be without it? I think the pagans had it to brighten the winter months. Don't join the hysteria.

poshsinglemum · 07/12/2010 18:29

But the build up is part of it.