to hate christmas

[superv1xen]

i really wish i didnt, but i do!

i hate everything about it. the money you have to spend on countless christmas presents, the deciding what to get people, the shopping for presents (even though i have done most of mine online i still have had to buy certain things from actual shops) the wrapping of the presents, the crowds everywhere - even just doing your weekly shop in sainsburys its bloody rammed, the stresses about where to spend xmas and who with (i am very annoyed because my family are in gloucestershire 100 miles away and DP doesnt want to go to them because its too far and they live in a farmhouse so its really cold there, yet we are seeing HIS family and i dont like his mum them i dont even like putting the decorations up because they just get in the way then you have to take them down anyway, and above all i hate the way its SOOOO COLD :(

i am horrible aren't i? :( i so WANT to like it for my kids sake but i just dread it and hate it.

its just me isn't it?

Getting groceries delivered in the run-up to Christmas is an excellent idea, I'm going to do this. One more stressful annoyance dealt with!

I never send cards - if I want to say Merry Christmas to someone, I say it in person, or call or text them!

I hate it too - and feel miserable in the run up and often afterwards - and I really wish I didn't feel like this. I so hope I don't pass the feelings onto my DD. My mum hates it too and takes it out on everybody, and always has, which is probably where my feelings started from. I wish I could fast forward a month.

ShanahansRevenge why does that have to be confined to christmas?

I agree with everyone who says do it your way - in our house the tree goes up on xmas eve, we buy presents for the kids, have a roast meal like a normal sunday and watch Doctor Who in the afternoon. I don't do anything stressful, I don't send pointless xmas cards and I enjoy not having to go anywhere or be around anyone other than DH and our DC.

One more thing I find frustrating about Christmas is that dh insists it is a family time and won't share Christmas day with anybody else. It's always just us for the whole day, no guests ever. FGS just about every weekend we have a day which is just family, often with a slap-up meal. I want to socialise! This year he has finally conceded that we might invite another family over in the afternoon.

Again from my childhood, when Christmas was a very sociable time. So many of my parents' friends would be off work but not doing anything for Chrustmas, so we would have loads of visits and visitors.

Love this thread.Used to like it then became single mum of 4 and began hating it due to money and lonliness.Now re married so should like it but have inherited a "close family" who live 100 miles away but still expect us to travel to them for it,i have 3 grown ds who obviously like to come home and dd8 who likes xmas at home with them and her own toys etc.I stick to my guns but dh isnt entirely happy and wont go on his own either although i would be ok with this.I am now having a baby and the pressure will be greater,they are even expecting us to go for boxing day 4 wks before my due date and i have history of prem labours.
So yanbu at all,your dh is for not compromising though.

But winter is sooo cold and miserable, Christmas is the only thing that keeps you going! The children are so cooped up at the moment with the weather etc, that Christmas and all the nativities/singalongs/fairs/parties is what they really look forward to

I really hate the expense but I've only got myself to blame for that as I find it impossible to not buy people presents and send cards. And it is a hassle and a stress, organising it all, but at least there's lots of Bank Holidays so DH will be around and really, what else would we do in the winter?

Kirk1 wow does someone hold a gun to your head forcing you to overindulge and overspend

If you dont like it say so and do not participate

I hate Eastenders and geuss what

I dont watch it

YANBU. I don't like Christmas much, either. There are some bits of it that are quite fun e.g. I'm not particularly religious, but I was brought up a Christian and I do like a good carol concert, and I like being Father Christmas and filling a stocking of little things for my kids. I also quite like some of the decorations, although do get fed up of them if there are too many cluttering up my house.

As to the more commercialised bits - i.e. the huge chore of presents and cards, well this is the first year I've practised what some of the people on this thread are proposing, and cut down dramatically in scale. It is a great relief.

I think the real problem with Christmas is managing other people's unrealistic expectations. E.g. my mum expecting us to have a lovely family party with no arguments, expecting the children to joyfully and gratefully open the toys she's bought for them, etc.

The fantasy Christmas pushed by the advertisers, movies and media generally sets us up for failure every time.

PatFig, Last year it was a factor in Social Services investigating us. So yes, people do expect you to celebrate it and do think there is something wrong with you if you don't.

I get the "oh it's for the kids, don't be such a misery" from pretty much everyone. I find xmas very problematic and do my best not to get stressed about it so I don't pass it to the children. Last year I ignored my extended family and the comments from other people and it was so much nicer. I'm not stopping other people from being stupid about the season, just not joining in.

I loathe it even more now I'm a teacher... the greediness of some children, the effect on SEN children, the parties, the nativity (time wasted when we could be having fun), the frenzy and the excess.

I loathe the greediness of people in the shops, the push and shove, the unnecessary tat that people spend money on, crappy Made in China decorations on houses, the waste.....

Bah humbug....

Roll on January.

A Christmas Poem
At Christmas little children sing and merry bells jingle,
The cold winter air makes our hands and faces tingle
And happy families go to church and cheerily they mingle
And the whole business is unbelievably dreadful, if you're single.

Wendy Cope

PatFig Just try and avoid Christmas! Give it a try, it's virtually impossible.

I didn't hate it until we had children...

I do consider myself a Christian but I cannot understand the current celebration entitled Christmas. It seems to bring out the worst in people. Overspending, overeating, overreacting...

I hate how our families fight over every hour they get to spend with us on that one day. The year ds1 was born, my parents actually lied about work schedules in order to convince us to spend the 25th with them.

Father Christmas tales make me cringe.

I can't stand hearing that good children will be rewarded with big gifts from Father Christmas and then watching the most poorly behaved one's receive the latest, trendiest tat.

I am so tired of hearing what everyone plans on getting and how much they 'deserve'. I also hate hearing my friends complain about how much they have to do in order to keep everyone happy.

I feel like screaming: "Spending loads of money on one day is not going to make up for a year of neglect or whatever it is that you are overcompensating for! Your grandmother would rather have a visit or a letter now and then rather than another last-minute, poorly thought out 'gift'. Your children would rather have you sit down and read a book or play a board game with them than watch you run around pretending to make everyone happy!"

I hate it much more now that we live in a 'third world' country where people are exploited to make the tat that we give to each other as gifts. Quite frankly, they seem much happier (as a group) than ones who are planning a big Christmas.

I think many people (in the UK) particularly seem to take the celebration bit so seriously that it stops being fun and starts being a great big hassle.

Personally I really enjoy Christmas I do do a lot of stuff around it but I don't stress out. If it gets done it gets done, if not well who cares? My family don't expect perfection they want to see us and spend some time together eating and giving gifts, the actual food and presents are secondary though to the time.

Just chill and enjoy it anyway you want, there is no law about how it has to be done you know.

I think many people (in the UK) particularly seem to take the celebration bit so seriously that it stops being fun and starts being a great big hassle

agree morloth

It doesnt help that the medai put pressure on it to be perfect,recipes for homemade stuffing etc which make you feel guilty for using paxo.

The pagan celebrations that pre date xmas, and indeed co-opted xmas itself, took place precisely to perk everyone up at a difficult time of year.

If you cling to the fact that this celebration is meant to help, not hinder, then you can begin to enjoy it.

My advice is to adopt any part of it that makes you happy, and ditch any part that doesn't.

So...

Decorations. If lots of clutter annoys you, don't do it. The point is to bring something green into the house to remind you of Summer. A small wreath on the door is fine. A jug of holly.
Candles - to light our lives in these dark times. Get ones that smell divine and know that we all look better by candlelight.

Gifts - the idea is that we give something we can afford to those that can't. So do not stress about this. If you are skint, make something.
Spending more money than you can afford is foolish.

led, I like home-made stuffing! But if I wasn't an experienced cook or even a willing one, I wouldn't make it. I would buy M&S, like MIL did one year, turkey crown and garnish pack.

DH and I have refined our Christmas to exactly what we want to do, eat and drink. No excess, worry, guests or family, travel or rows. It sounds boring, but I've read enough on mumsnet to realise how lucky we are to be able to do this. I looked at all the stacks of gift packs in the shops, and felt really happy not to have to buy any of them.

I feel really sorry for people forced into catering for ungrateful relatives who never contribute or lift a finger, on pain of major falling out, and expect them to run up massive debts in the process. Fortunately, this has never happened to me, but they wouldn't have had another Christmas at mine.

girly how do i even go about making it?Is it mainly bread crumbs?I must admit this yr our family have aggreed to small 5 pound gifts as there are so many of us,my growns ds's didnt even vist on my birthday just snet stuff up,so i havent gone mad for them and dd didnt need a lot so cut down there too.I started earlier and di lots online due to being 32 wks pg and i must admit i am feeling a bit better about things this yr.I really would rather go abroad tho

I don't hate christmas as such but i really really hate what it has become. I am tyhe ultimate scrooge i just tell people "we're not doign presents this year because..." and then insert a different excuse each year (new house, new college course, pregnant, new baby, next house)

I hate buying and receiving shitty little presensts and can never be arsed to save up for big ones. So I don't bother, I usually spend soem time printing out pics of my little girl for people to put in their albums and people really appreciate that.

People like to buy stuff for her thats fine by me but some stuff annoys me like FIL getting her a fucking rocking horse I have a 2 up 2 down house not a mansion with a playroom.

so apart from the presents I really hate christmas trees (real ones) because i just think its so wasteful to cut down trees just to look at them in your house for 2 weeks then throw them in a bin.

The worst thing about christmas is the gluttony. I hate how people stuff their faces with food (usually the whole of december!) eat and eat and eat lots of crap then moan on and on about needing to lose "holiday weight" just stop being a greedy bastard then.

Same with booze "oh its christmas" yes but that doesnt mean get arseholed then moan about having a hangover.

Urgh and then there are people who whine and whinge about being skint then spend ridiculous amount on xmas above mentioned crap

oops i think i have gone on long enough! Yes i am a scrooge but i spend quality tiem wuith my family all year round and if i want to get my daughter a treat just becasue i would rather do that than just because its christmas.

I do get into carols and sant and other such fun stuff though

Well I'm single and I've been excited about it for months. It brings a little bit of magic into my life especially now I have dd.
i love buying and making decorations. I made some christmas cookies with dd - so cheap and fun to make.
The frost is beautiful atm and looks like a winter wonderland.
I got a bit piece of stilton today and can't wait to get some chutney and crackers.
I don't like the expense but to counteract this I but dds presents throughout the year so I don't have a last minute bill, I make some gifts and bought some second hand on ebay.

I think it's difficult for those who are grieving.

YANBU i hate it too, have since my teens. The pressure to enjoy, spend, get fat. I'm a summer person. I'd rather save time and energy for the summer. And angry with myself for always giving into the pressure. I am not Christian. Also the 'oh it's all for kids/family'. This was v depressing when i was single/ had family problems. Now i'm not, but can't conceive/am childless/have wonderful stepson-to-be. It could be good again...but his mum never ever 'releases' him for Christmas Day. I think this very unfair she and my fiance cannot take turns. So..it's still poo. Trying to persuade my other half to go for a long walk in the park this year just to feel 'less Christmassy' on the 'big day'