To think that these days in Mumsnet no-one seems to be able to empathise with others very much unless their situations match exactly

[santadefiesgravity]

OK some people on AIBU are genuinley BU. But in the majority of cases there is such a lack of empathy that people can find situations difficult, that things need to change and that we all havnt got such perfect lives.

AIBU to think that this attitude reflects the attitudes of people in general in real life too?

Preparing to be flamed.

That's one section. The rest of mumsnet is as fluffy as can be.

There's oodles of empathy here - go and look on the secret santa thread if you want to get all warm and misted eyed.

and in the spirit of AIBU - you are you fucker

no-one? no-one at all on MN has empathy for anotehr poster?

yep you definitely sometimes get the"well MY fridge is full so you can't possibly be hungry"

however most posters can be deeply empathetic, very much so

ithink on the whole you are wrong

I think there is a massive level of help available on mumsnet.

But, on IABU it is rather forthright.

Look at that 2bubs4me thread yesterday. Some daft apeth was complaining about money worries despite spending christ knows how much on mobile phones. Despite having numbers and 'bubs' in her name (mn crimes) she was given a lot of helpful advice and sympathy. But, as well as that she was criticised and told to get a job (I know which side I was on).

You get a mixture of views, but that said if you are after GENUINE help do not post on AIBU.

you lost me at "these days"

another one ?

1/10 [fbear]

No-one?

Yes. you are being unreasonable.

I have found that this section attracts a lot of people who are 'up for a fight' (not all I must stress) and have experienced plenty of abuse for merely expressing an opinion. However in the pregnancy forum, for example, I have had bags of empathy and support at times. I try and stick to saying things online that I would be happy for anyone I know to read as, afterall, you don't know where your comments might end up!

I've had some supportive threads and some not so supportive ones - as pp said depends entirely on the forum. I wouldn't post on here if I felt very sensitive about something as you never quite know when you'll get flamed or upset by comments...

TBH I think it reflects RL - there are quite a lot of people out there lacking empathy unless they have personal experience of it themselves!

You see, in all situations I try and put myself inthe OP's shoes and even if I disagree, and I will say so, I try and see how it looks from their point of view unless they are being completely unreasonable eg racist, sexist, small minded in some other way etc.

AIBU threads often go round in circles with loads of people just not seeing why an OP can find a certain situation difficult.

I do find in life that sadly a lot of people are just concerned with how they see things, not trying to see things from a different point of view.

I find the opposite. I probably arrived here in full on judgy pants and MN has actually made me see the shades of grey in any given situation.

Aibu is where you look when you've had a rubbish day, your children are moaning, your husbands just farted, you have the period from hell and the dog has had explosive diarrhoea all over the cream carpet.

So when someone asks. "Aibu to not attend pfb's nursery nativity because I'm booked in for a hollywood before I meet my secret lover at the Premier Inn?"

Be prepared to get it with both barrels!

I think there can be a lot of 'well I would feel like this about the situation you describe and so I think you should feel the same way too' but it's not the way everyone is.

Like for example when people say 'in labour you lose all dignity and I didn't care who was looking at my fanjo so you won't either' - some people will still care.

And totally agree with Portofino

I agree Portofino - it's very rare things are black or white.

MN has loosened the elastic on my judgey pants spectacularly.

I have a hell of a lot more empathy nowadays, and take the time to actually think before hoicking them up to my pits and [catsbummouthing]

Pretty sure there's a lot of other people who are the same.

AIBU is the MN Colosseum at times. But its a very small part of the rest of MN.

YABU

I think more so lately ..there seems to be more I'm all right jack posts than ever ..

US, my personal feeling is that the "all right jack" posts are made by a staunch minority of the same posters

Yes maybe AF ..they just always seem to be on the same threads as me

I think you're talking shite. If you expect 100% empathy in response to any post on any forum, you'll be disappointed. But in the vast majority of threads here posters get support and advice, and usually any criticism is constructive and fairly diplomatically dished out. If Mumsnet was full of nodding dogs and saccharine sweetness it would be Netmums.

US, unless you re talking about me in which case, you are talking baloney

I'm not talking about you

well, you would say that now < paranoid >