To think that these days in Mumsnet no-one seems to be able to empathise with others very much unless their situations match exactly

[santadefiesgravity]

OK some people on AIBU are genuinley BU. But in the majority of cases there is such a lack of empathy that people can find situations difficult, that things need to change and that we all havnt got such perfect lives.

AIBU to think that this attitude reflects the attitudes of people in general in real life too?

Preparing to be flamed.

I think N is too a bit more honest with its advice than some sites can be. Nothing wrong with honesty if given constructively. \Not everything can be fluffy and pink.

Besides I can do empathy. Infact I have a qualification in empathy. It took me a year of coursewor, essays and lectres to get my qualification in empathy!

And thre is a masive difference between emoathy and sympathy - and soetimes ont hreads it is the latter people may want, but the former they get.

I think its difficult sometimes because in Rl you never come across such opposing opinions ..I would never be friends with some people with such opposite views to mine but on a forum all views are represented iyswim

hehehe

< hugs back >

< needy >

What do you mean pearshaped Maryz?

Those are the best threads, aren't they?

I know which threads you're talking about, OP, and yes I agree. Though I don't think people are any less empathetic/sympathetic than they used to be. There have always been those posters who say things and use language that they wouldn't say face-to-face to someone they don't even know (and whose circumstances they can't possibly wholly understand), and I just regard them as cowardly people with nothing better to do than insult people for the hell of it, and I ignore them...

Situation I am in just now is rather odd and I am getting lots of support

I'm not sure who's been here longer - me or Porto - but I definitely remembering her softening up

I've definitely learned to see some topics in more shades of grey as well

I think in general you are possibly right about some of the people who frequent the AIBU section of MN.

AIBU does seem to attract the more strident posters, some of whom have seemingly very little empathy. But there are many many empathic people on MN - mostly on other, less scary threads/boards.

So - in strictest terms, YABU. Empathy abounds - but not so much in AIBU. Mind you, go and look at the thread about the 8yo boy who had a breakdown - plenty of empathy on there, despite being in AIBU!