Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Round Robin Letters

113 replies

DrSeuss · 06/12/2010 22:00

It's that time of year again. The Christmas Letters are arriving now. We get three a year, only one of which is worth the effort of reading it. Today saw the arrival of the usual missive from one family who feel that very little is too insignificant to tell us. Can't decide if they are very arrogant or just very boring. Then comes the one from husband's cousins who moved to Canada two years ago. The subtext of this one has been the same for the last ten or more years, "We are wonderful, our entire lives are wonderful, our children are wonderful, it's just so wonderful". Cousin seems to forget that her sister and mother are still in the UK and tell us what's actually happening. And they shocked the hell out of me a few years ago when the death of cousin's dad only made paragraph three, beneath the description of their holidays! The only one worth reading is from university friends who have two kids, one with Aspergers, and who talk about their kids in a warm, interesting manner but don't boast.
Am I alone in disliking these letters? I love everything else about Christmas and spent a good ten minutes today teaching Year seven how to use the Portable North Pole, so I'm not exactly in the ba humbug category. I only once sent out such letters when my dad had recently died and I couldn't face writing that 25 times. And yes, he was paragraph one!

OP posts:
bensonbutnohedges · 09/12/2010 17:43

We get one from people who detail such a boring life it is unbelievable and then they write "People are always asking us how we manage to fit so much in". They also do at least one update during the year!

lololizzy · 09/12/2010 17:58

Really really hope that this thread continues after Christmas and we could have a 'best of' MNers 2010's round robins (with names removed, of course)

Galena · 09/12/2010 18:06

I really hope none of you are on my Christmas card list. :( I'd hate to think that any of my friends say things like this about my letter.

ragged · 09/12/2010 19:00

My cousin has a scathing acidic acerbic sense of humour. She writes letters with each paragr. consisting of one line of glorious brag followed by 6 lines of "The truth" in smaller text.

madangelhaironchristmasday · 09/12/2010 19:27

We get loads of these and also do one, mainly because we have moved round so much and it's a good way of keeping in touch. Hate the boasty ones tho. Love this spoof by Adrian Plass (christian author mocking round robins which seems to be a bigger thing amongst christians for some reason) Here's some bits of it:

Naomi [age 5)

...She is also very bright, but Rebecca and I are anxious that she should not be pushed too far, too quickly, where school work is concerned. She must certainly finish her reception year before taking maths 'A' level, and there is absolutely no question of her undertaking piano recitals in Europe until she has passed her seventh birthday.
Naomi's after-school activities include a chess class on Monday (she earns her own pocket money by teaching that), applied thermonuclear dynamics on Tuesday, netball training with other members of the County team on Thursdays, and a soup-run into the East End every Friday evening. Typically, Naomi taught herself judo and karate to black-belt standard from textbooks before embarking on this potentially dangerous occupation.

Joshua{age 16)

Joshua has gained fifteen A grade GCSEs and nine spiritual gifts this year, including Sociology and Prophecy (the one to be most earnestly sought after, according to the apostle Paul - prophecy, that is, not sociology). Over the next two years he hopes to take the Word of the Lord to Communist China, and twelve 'A levels.
Joshua spent his summer holiday converting Guatemala with a group of pals, constructing a life-size working model of Apollo 3 out of drinking straws, and practising the five Cantonese dialects in which he is now practically fluent.
It is not all plain sailing with Joshua, however. A typically wayward and rebellious sixteen-year-old, he has several times sneaked off to his room to do a couple of hours extra academic study when he knows he should be concentrating on tightening up his dressage skills in the back paddock ready for the Olympics, and on more than one occasion he has actually disappeared from the house altogether, only to be discovered guiltily shopping for the elderly lady who lives two doors away from us, or sitting and reading to her for long periods after cooking and serving her evening meal. When Rebecca and 1 gently pointed out that we can't always do exactly what we want, Joshua asked our forgiveness and repointed the
brickwork of every house in the street as an act of repentance. Rebecca and I feel sure he'll come through in the end.
Both Oxford and Cambridge Universities have applied to have Joshua join them in two years' time, and he will probably fly up (as soon as his pilot's licence comes through) to look over both establishments before making a decision

Rebecca

Rebecca continues to enjoy producing homemade jam, bread, cakes, wine, preserves, crocheted bedspreads, small animal models made out of baked dough, dried flower decorations, knitted baby-clothes, banners and kneeling mats for our local church, and meals for the housebound.
She has completed her first novel this year, held a successful one-woman oil-painting exhibition, been awarded a third Open University degree, and continues to single-handedly look after our twelve-acre ornamental garden, when her duties as mother, wife, amateur apiarist, semi-professional photographer, local magistrate, prison visitor, hospital volunteer, leading light in the amateur dramatic association, treasurer of the ladies tennis club, district council member and world chairperson of Women Against Poverty allow.
Rebecca is currently looking for some new challenge to occupy the spare time that she, in common with many non-working mothers, finds hanging so heavily on her hands. Next year, in addition to her present activities, she plans to become a special policewoman, stand as a prospective parliamentary candidate, complete a solo sailing trip around the world, and find a method of bottling gooseberries that doesn't lose all the flavour.

ChunkyBrewster · 09/12/2010 19:38

My parents-in-law do one and it's bloody awful. When we got married it rated half a sentence. Their trips to the theatre that summer got four paragraphs. I did like last years one though; they were re-doing a room out the back of their house that they called the "back passage" and there was half a page dedicated to the work my MIL was having done to the back passage.

Katisha · 09/12/2010 19:58

Has no-one else had one as if written by the family dog?
I have.
Needed a stiff gin for that one...

DitaVonCheese · 09/12/2010 20:44

Xmas Grin at MIL's back passage. I'd need gin for that. I've only recently managed to make my mad granny stop making constant jokes about her pussy (blame Mrs Slocombe).

I fear that my parents are erring dangerously close to a letter from their dog ...

SuePurblybiltByElves · 09/12/2010 21:48

I have had one from the couple's cat Katisha. Made me see little red dots.

Ephiny · 09/12/2010 22:28

Yes the one we get has a little section at the end 'written' by the dog. I mean, I like dogs but that is just horribly twee.

AllGoodNamesGone · 09/12/2010 22:56

Oh my! Am wiping away a few tears of my own thinking of Sebastian and his emotional audio books!

matildarosepink · 10/12/2010 09:28

I can't seem to stop laughing at this now.

Madangel, that is just hysterical.

Notevenamouse · 10/12/2010 13:59

what the heck did the cat say ?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread