Round Robin Letters

[DrSeuss]

It's that time of year again. The Christmas Letters are arriving now. We get three a year, only one of which is worth the effort of reading it. Today saw the arrival of the usual missive from one family who feel that very little is too insignificant to tell us. Can't decide if they are very arrogant or just very boring. Then comes the one from husband's cousins who moved to Canada two years ago. The subtext of this one has been the same for the last ten or more years, "We are wonderful, our entire lives are wonderful, our children are wonderful, it's just so wonderful". Cousin seems to forget that her sister and mother are still in the UK and tell us what's actually happening. And they shocked the hell out of me a few years ago when the death of cousin's dad only made paragraph three, beneath the description of their holidays! The only one worth reading is from university friends who have two kids, one with Aspergers, and who talk about their kids in a warm, interesting manner but don't boast.
Am I alone in disliking these letters? I love everything else about Christmas and spent a good ten minutes today teaching Year seven how to use the Portable North Pole, so I'm not exactly in the ba humbug category. I only once sent out such letters when my dad had recently died and I couldn't face writing that 25 times. And yes, he was paragraph one!

we receive about 6/8 of these each yr, from friends all over the UK and further afield. Many of whom we do not see from one year to the next but who are still special to us, part of our lives, valued as friends. To me,these letters mean so much more than the impersonal card for example, that DH still gets from a primary school friend who he has not seen in 30 years who just signs the card "from x" - and thats it - we have no idea what X is doing, what their personal or work life is - what is the point in sending a card/keeping in touch like that?

we keep the round robins each year, so that when we come to send out ours, we can look back on what was happening in so-and-sos life, and add an appropriate personal handwritten parag at the end eg - if they were 8 months pg last xmas, "hope you are finding parenthood fun!" etc

some friends do say they like hearing all our news, no one has stopped sending us a card because of these letters! LOL

I dont see the letters as bragging in any way - just a way of lettting someone know you are bothered about keeping in touch with them.

I can't stand them. They are usually boring and boastful, and always impersonal. And they often blather on about other friends you've never met.

They never ask how you are or take the recipients individual circumstances into account. You might get one saying so-and-so's business is flourishing when you've just lost your job, or boasting that their budgie has passed French A-level when all your pets passed away this year.

I'd rather get one handwritten line which demonstrated that the person has actually thought about me, than one of those dreadful round-robins.

YABU!

I'm a big fan of the round robin; I get a few each year from distant aunts / old friends who I rarely see, I love reading them, and it is an excellent way to stay in touch with what they're doing.

There's nothing worse than receiving a card from someone you haven't seen all year which says nothing more than "Happy Christmas from x, y and z" - why bother?!

I do one myself, nothing too detailed, just a few pics of the dcs and a brief update on what we've been up to recently. I don't have the time to do individual ones.

It's probably very dull to read, but that says more about my creative writing abilities.

My view is, if you really don't give a toss what my family and I have been up to, then you aren't the friend I thought you were! Let me know, and I'll take you straight off my christmas card list. One less stamp to buy next year.

So there.

Perpetually, we are at one!!

But do you ask your friends what they've been up to TheNextMrsClaus? A lot of round robins don't...

You miserable load of Scrooges. I love getting these. Never organised enough to write one though.

Oh yes, I always sign off by wishing health and happiness, or somthing like that, and saying do keep in touch/we look forward to hearing all your news and if you are ever this way you are welcome to come see us...etc

this summer some of Dhs old friends DID drop by on their way to the ferry - for all of half an hour, but it was so lovely to see them, it had been too long since we had. I also got to meet another friend of his for the first time (been married 14 yrs!) , someone I felt i already knew though because of the exchange of letters every year.

I dont send the RR to those friends whom we see several times a year, or who we email on a regular basis - they alresdy know what we have been up to all year!

TNMC - ooooh, spookily similar!

Shoppingdays - Yes, yes, I do add a personal comment or two, I'm not completely impersonal!

Thesecondcoming - I think he left the house at 10.17am.

Perpetually - you can be on my christmas card list anytime!

jasper do I know you? Or, more accurately your friend?

My DH does this, and his spoofs are much sought-after.

YANBU. They are always dull and arrogant- assuming everyone else finds the smallest detail of your life interesting.

If you can't be arsed to write or email a personal message to someone, then just accept that actually they aren't that significant in your life. Don't do fake intimacy and friendship

"Yes, now we have facebook and twitter, surely the days of the round robin are numbered?"

I don't do Facebook or Twitter. Reading the daily minutiae of other people's lives is so dull. I have a cousin in Germany that I write to, a couple of cousins in Cornwall, a friend in Belgium and other friends scattered around the UK, all of whom we see occasionally, but not very often, so the letters I send and receive are looked forward to and received with pleasure.

They aren't always dull and arrogant. Handwriting a similar long letter several times over is time consuming and gives me writer's cramp. I do email said people from time to time, but they can still have a special significance in your life even if you don't see them all the time.

We don't get any which is a shame as I find them hilarious. The in-laws usually get a few corkers though which we all enjoy reading (not quite the enjoyment that is intended though!).
A handwritten letter is a different thing but an excruciatingly detailed, mass produced, brag-a-thon about your year (to people who you obviously aren't that bothered about or they would have heard your news about your new garage doors already) is sad in the extreme.
I personally love reading between the lines at what hasn't been said - ie "Clement achieved A* grades in all his GCSEs and Hugo also got quite good grades in his A-levels!" = Hugo has brought shame on the family!
But, for the reason that they are absolutely hilarious I'm glad some people send them.

I hate them all, except for one, from my very lovely uncle who lives too far away to see him much. IT is a 6 line summary of the year:

DUncle: Still doing this job, ran a marathon for cancer research.
DAunt: Gave up teaching to weave baskets. Loves it.
DCousin1: Had baby girl in June, called Ermintrude:
DCOusin2: Got married. Good day.
DCOusin3: Graduated.2:2. Working at McDs.
Tortoise: Hibernating again. He's not much fun at Christmas.

It lets me know the important stuff, without the inappropriate, detailed, dull dross. That is what Facebook is for!

I think the problem is that you only seem to get this sort of thing from people who are wonderful, its been wonderful this year and who are expecting more wonderfulness next year. I'd actually quite like to receive one which says "DH and I are still barely speaking, children are glued to TV 8 hours a day ruining their health and education and I still pretend to work from home whilst actually being on Mumsnet eating crisps. Oh and we took out yet another re-mortgage". Oh no, hang on that's the one I'd send (opens another bag of crisps)

I dont get sent any, but I'd love to! I love them!!

Would love to read one of the spoof ones too - has anyone got any extracts that they will post for fun?

Never been sent one either

I love round robins - they are always hilarious. Sadly I know hardly any people who send them.

We did send a perfectly accurate one once that said, IIRC, 'C is as keen on school as ever, and DH is equally enthusiastic about his job.'

Anyone who knew us knew what it meant.

I do one for family - my aunts/uncles/great aunt/second cousin once removed (who has no other family left) who, as my family is useless at keeping in touch don't hear anything about our lives but like to know. And I do not have time to write in each card.

I think its hard not to sound braggy as otherwise it really isn't interesting, or, indeed pleasant reading. Otherwise mine would read : mother mad, fathers legs look like they will fall off soon, brother being a git, became disabled, dhs knee getting worse. Happy new year !

I can't bear the smug, self-congratulatory ones, but like the more 'real' ones. In particular, really dislike the ones that people spoof write as if they're from their babies/children. Aaaaarghh!!
BikeRunSki, I do love the sound of your uncle's annual summary. Why don't I have uncles like that? Mind you, there are many men who will sum up in a sentence what the rest of us will take 200 words to say. There are times when skills like this are very useful...

I do see what people are saying about brief Christmas cards from people you never see or hear from - why do they bother if there's no news at all??! And why don't they ever ask how you are in there?!
I think my vote is for something in the middle - a short summary of how the year's been, along with a few questions about YOU and how you are to show they've been thinking of you, even if the time's slipped away.

I think they are dying out as Facebook and Twitter become the all-year-round way of keeping "friends" informed of your every triumph.

We get very few, but my MIL gets loads and always saves them up for me to read as she knows I love them.

It is interesting to note that over the years, as the senders of the letters get older, the news always turns to a list of illnesses and ailments. Lots of them are rather godly too, so it's all:

'Pat was a martyr to her arthritis this year, but Praise the Lord it managed to abate just long enough for our caravanning fortnight in Minehead....'

and

'Despite Ken's triple bypass and my pneumonia scare we still managed a glorious and Heaven-sent few days with the grandchildren in Hornchurch.'

Ah, good times. Good times....

I luff the round robin I get it is written smug sincerity - tells all about the wonderful year my friend and her family have had, I will be sad if I don't get one this year, but fear I have fallen off her list... I would subscribe to a round robin of mc smuggeriness, they are fun to read.

At our old house, we regularly got Christmas cards for a couple who had moved out years before. One always contatined the round robin and was the highlight of our year! Gay men in their fifites whose hobby was amateur dramatics. Hilarious! We were sorry to move and not get any updates