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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that a child who believes in Santa beyond 6/7ish is either...

312 replies

santaslayer · 06/12/2010 20:05

a bit naive or a bit dim?

I'm neither a troll nor 2bubs4me so no hunting. Grin

I dont remember ever believing in Santa, and I remember quite a lot from my pre-school years. I knew the size of the Earth, the number of people and the impossibility of the logistics of 'Santa'. I also knew better than to beleive everything my parents said Sad.

My DS is basically the same. I understand that 3yo's believe - it's cute, but I think it's a bit creepy when 8+yo's still do.

But I would never actually criticise a parent for having such deluded sheltered DCs.

OP posts:
MarineIguana · 06/12/2010 23:15

We tell them that the injection wont hurt.

I don't! I try to be honest. I say it might hurt a bit but being brave will help it get done quickly and then we will go for a treat.

We tell them their teeth will fall out if they eat too many sweets.

They will

We tell them granny has gone to heaven (even if we don't believe in the afterlife).

I don't

We tell them if they don't eat their peas, they won't grow up to be big and strong.

I don't, but I say if they do eat their peas they will be good for them and help them grow big and strong. Which is true.

I agree we do lie to children sometimes but I think it is good to show them enough respect to tell them the truth, or an acceptable version of it, if you can.

DandyDan · 06/12/2010 23:15

Mine believed until they were about 10 or 11.

Children's imaginations keep on being extraordinarily vivid until around then. Developmentally they change in their understanding of logistics around 10-12, and their formation of self-awareness takes a leap at that point too.

Some can stop believing earlier but there's no particular merit in it. If anything, it's rather a loss.

LacksDaisies · 06/12/2010 23:16

haven't read all of the responses...but what OFFS said!

TakeYourFunWhereYouFindIt · 06/12/2010 23:17

My DS (nearly 12) believed until a few weeks ago. He is emphatically not dim, he chose to ignore the bits that didn't quite add up ( and I worked my ass off to come up with creative ways of keeping the magic going whenever he questioned practicalities).

His take is that it's "awesome" that all the grown-ups work together to create this big fantasy just to make children happy.

OP, you sound thoroughly miserable, decidedly victor meldrewish. I got 11 Christmases full of magic - nothing creepy about that. This year will still be lovely just in a slightly different way.

Original poster
santaslayer · 06/12/2010 23:19

shongoloo- see that's what I really disagree with.

I never lie to my DCs. I think to do so is bad parenting. How will your children learn to trust you if they find out you've lied to them?

OP posts:
TheButterflyEffect · 06/12/2010 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

lilolilmanchester · 06/12/2010 23:22

OP, I think you're the naive and a bit dim one. But you're far too superior to believe the likes of me. Ask your DCs when they are grown up. And while they're on, they can explain why you're not invited to spend Christmas with your grandchildren.

hatwoman · 06/12/2010 23:24

my dad told me - when I questioned the whole thing - that ok, he wasn't "real" in the sense that we are, he wasn't a touchable human being that flew round the earth and went down all the chimneys. but that he was something called "make believe" and that if people wanted to believe then there was a sense in which he existed. we all got presents - ok, chosen by mum and dad, not hand crafted by elves at the North Pole, but they were symbols of the whole magical spirit of FC.

so nerr. FC lives. or something like thatGrin

sleepywombat · 06/12/2010 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hatwoman · 06/12/2010 23:25

I'm like TakeYourFun's 11 year old's take. what a sweetie.

LacksDaisies · 06/12/2010 23:27

actually OP, do you actually have children,l or are you just pregnant or still TTC?

I always said that I wouldn't perpetuate the myth before I had my own children....and then I witnessed the eyes of my first born light up the first year he really "got" the magic of Christmas; the wonder of the tree and decorations, the awe as he sat listening to Christmas stories, his squealing "Again, again.." after the lights went up in church after the last candle light carol. How could I deny him that magic?

How I laugh at my naive, dim and creepy former self!

hatwoman · 06/12/2010 23:29

I like. not trying to declare myself similar to a lovely-sounding 11 year old.

PlumBumandBaublesMum · 06/12/2010 23:30

I start on Christmas Eve morning telling my dcs Santa has already been to New Zealand and left the toys so plenty of time to them he can make it ours with their toys,
especially when he dosen't have to call to houses of non-believers like the OPs

Oh and my dcs are definitely not dim, don't care if they are niave time enough to find out about the big bad world

ReindeerBollocks · 06/12/2010 23:31

I don't mind some parents not letting their children believe - that's up to them, but at least I don't insult those children for their parent's choices.

I don't know if DS believes - he copes with life on an adult level sometimes - but then other times he believes that there are aliens in the walls and he thinks Dr Who is real - so I don't think Santa is that far fetched compared to Dr Who.

He is 7.

Maybee · 06/12/2010 23:35

Creepy? Cmon lighten up!

PlumBumandBaublesMum · 06/12/2010 23:36

Oh please Santaslayer, our back door got kicked in when someone tried to break in to our house,
I lied to my dcs and said the door had broke etc..........never say never,
I was not going to tell my dcs the truth in that situation

booyhohoho · 06/12/2010 23:40

well OP my incredibly bright ds is 6 in july so i really hope you are wrong. he is so unbelievably excited about christmas and the magic element of santa that it would be a terrible shame to think this is his last christmas of enjoying that.

i was 10 when i found out and only by mistake. i am neither dim nor naive.

TakeYourFunWhereYouFindIt · 06/12/2010 23:41

Thank you hat woman - I was very impressed with his take on the huge, apparently damaging lie he's lived with up until recently Wink. I'm hopeful that I haven't destroyed his trust totally by perpetuating this seemingly age-limited myth. If I have presumably he'll forward the bills for his therapy to me Grin

Original poster
santaslayer · 06/12/2010 23:41

lilo- I never told my DS (8) that Santa doesn't exist. He, like me, just never believed it.

plum- I still wouldn't lie in that situation, sorry.

OP posts:
MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 06/12/2010 23:49

OK I'm going to stick my neck out and say that the OP has a point to a certain extent - and hey I'm not going to even bother to namechange. I would say, however, that the choice of language in the OP ("naive", "dim" and "deluded") isn't going to win any friends, so hence the flaming.

DS is 9 and I know for a fact that he is "pretending" to believe so that a) he doesn't disappoint me and b) he won't lose out on his stocking/presents. I know because he told his older sibling who passed this info on to me.

I remember pretending at about that age. In some ways he's showing a bit of nous - don't bite the hand that feeds you! I reckon that most of the DC who allegedly believe at 8+ are just pretending. Fine - it's sweet to go along with the traditions, put mince pie out for santa and all that, but I would be surprised if kids weren't questioning it by 8.

FooffysFestiveShmooffery · 06/12/2010 23:49

You state that you don't lie to your DC yet I have sneaking suspicion we are being lied to.

You said that you remember alot from you pre school years. Pre school? So 4 and below. No love you don't. The most you will have from that time is a few vague recollections. A few sketchy memories.

If by telling us that you knew about the size of the earth, the number of people in it etc. you are proving yourself to have been a highly intelligent child of far superior brain and perception than any of our dim witted believers then FFS if thats how you get you jollies " well done" what a clever but sadly hollow girl you are.

And yes just in case it isnt clear I DO resent the statement that my child is any of the insulting words you used (well except naive, thats the joy of being a child).

altinkum · 06/12/2010 23:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrawberryTot · 06/12/2010 23:52

i can't ever remember believing in santa and christmas was always special in my household regardless. when i had my dd i didn't want to do the santa thing but relented after months of moaning/ debate from the other half, my dd is four now and believes in santa to the point that he is one who delivers the presents on christmas eve however the ones in the garden centre etc are just pretend, although i'd be surprised if she beleives in a couple more years.

HairyMclary1979 · 07/12/2010 00:01

where did 2bubs4me go? she went as quickly as she arrived.

SkyBluePearl · 07/12/2010 00:03

My son aged 7 may not know the exact size of the earth to an inch or how many humans there are (sounds quite obsessive to me!) BUT he is very bright (reading/writing age of 12) and has a very active magical imagination. I'm quite happy for him to discover the truth in his own time - i have never actually said that he does or doesn't exist but we do leave a sack from santa at the end of his bed each year. Our santa is very tight by the way and leaves only small cheap items - while I ,my family and friends get the real credit for the bigger gifts.