Wedding parties with kids or without?

[Colourworld]

Have been invited to the wedding. The kids have not so we are thinkin gof the baby sitter. The organisers say only the kids of close relatives could come and join the wedding. In the summer we were invited to the wedding and although we could not come the kids were welcome. So what do you think of this? Is there a place for the kids at the big parties such as wedding? It used to be.

As a wedding photographer weddingS without kids are boring to me. Kids add something to the day and the majority of couples that have the big expensive weddings that have no kids yet, are the ones that tend to ban them. Wonder if they will feel the same when they do have some. Expensive things tho weddings so depends on how many kids yr be paying for I guess.

I don't want my dc's to be invited to weddings - it takes the fun out of having a few drinks and catching up with friends dancing on tables

I am getting married next year though and have invited children, (my children have to be there :o ) so it's easier for them to have playmates and I don't get grief from other parents. Plus I do think it will be more family orientated with children around.

I've been invited to strict child free weddings but not been able to go due to having a breast fed baby. I do think that BF babies should be the exception even at child free weddings but this isn't always the case

Oh nothing brings out the smug heteromundane wanker more than childfree weddings. FFS weddings are about what the couple want, and if that means a grown-up formal event (or indeed a drunken riot) then why should they have to put up with loads of people's kids? Funny how the worst whinyarsing guestzillas, the sort of people who turn up with kids (or at least threaten to do so) when they have been asked to get a sitter, are always the ones who don't actually know the bride or groom very well at all but think that the world revolves around their own breeder status.

It's totally up to the couple I think, and to be honest, with the behaviour of some kids, I can understand why a lot of people don't want them at their special days. I love children. I work with children, I am happy to babysit any time I'm asked, and I want children very soon. I had children at my wedding. One stomped all over the back of my wedding dress while I was waiting at the back of the church for all guests to depart as the photographer wanted some photos there, as he was playing back there unsupervised. One howled through the photographs and refused to be in them. Three rushed about shouting and laughing through the sit down meal and very nearly knocked over my cake. As their parents didn't do anything to make them sit down (aged 4 and a couple of 8 year olds, so not babies) I told one of the waiters that he was very welcome to tell them off as if my cake got knocked over I would not be held responsible for my actions! One stole money from the charity fountain in the hotel I had Reception in's entrance to buy himself drinks. Two were constantly leaving the room we had evening do in and rushing about the rest of hotel unsupervised. Two went into public dining room of hotel, had fight on floor, were complained about by diners, and were told off by manager. My mum was so apologetic to the staff the next morning when she found out about that and so embarrassed about behaviour of our family! So I can see why some people ban kids! Other five children at mine were absolutely lovely though, so it would have been a shame not to have them there, and really, my opinion is that if you ban one you ban them all. I just wish parents would make their own kids behave themselves at other people's functions!!!

sims2fan that sounds really, really stressful - the only thing i'd like to point out is the thing with your venue's waiting staff

i've seen people try to challenge unacceptable behaviour with kids at these types of functions (horseplay, fine - posing a danger to waiting staff carrying hot plates, or screaming all the way through a service, etc not acceptable), and i've also seen what happens when someone tried to step in and asks them to remember where they are i've seen this done by fellow guests, and i've done it myself - in most cases, where e.g. a parent doesn't react with utter embarassment that their child has tripped up a waitor intentionally/stolen from a charity fountain/whatever.. they are not the sort of parents who welcome intervention. For example, the tripping up of waiting staff with hot plates - that was one where I had a quiet word with the dad of the couple and pointed out how unsafe it was - you could clearly see how stressed the staff were - yet he totally dismissed me and told me "they are HIS kids" ( doesn't everyone point out when a child is in danger?!).

put it this way, if i, as a head bridesmaid, can't convince certain parents to control their kids at family functions, i have much less faith that anyone would listen to a mere (their thoughts) bar staff or people serving food.

People tend to say that children should be allowed because weddings are "family occasions". Some couples getting married may not have children in their close family, or maybe not many, so where does that argument leave them? I certainly felt it was nice to have my nephews and nieces be there for part of the day, because they mean something to me. To be honest, I didn't have any particular connection to my friends children, so had no "family feelings" towards them and didn't want them running round my ankles at th reception. Sorry.
Then later, for a good meal in the evening, I didn't want any children there at all. Chicken nuggets and high chairs weren't provided.

We had no children at our wedding and I stressed that people would think I was a bridezilla, but there were no 'family' children at the time and all the children who could have been invited were those of friends who we didn't know that well (the children, not the friends) and were all aged over 5 so old enough to be left with babysitters/family. If we'd had children it would have been an extra 15+ places to find and meant that there would not have been room for some people we actually knew.

If we were to get married now then we would invite children as there are children in the family and of close friends.

I think it depends on the situation.

I've been married twice - the first time I had a traditional medium sized wedding and children were welcome.

The second time I had a tiny evening wedding followed my a 'posh' meal in a private dining room of an country hotel. The numbers were limited by the number that could fit around the dining table. I had no children. It only applied really to SILs three pre-schoolers at the time (who were also very challenging in terms of their behaviour!). As it all happened in the evening, and wasn't a whole day, I felt it was fine. There was no dancing etc and really it would have been very boring for them anyway.

SauvignonBlanche - each to their indeed! I could say you sound either very PFB or that your life totally revolves around your kids, but that would be unreasonable, wouldn't it?!

I should also add that even if my DCs were invited to a wedding along with us - I would not take them until I was confident that they could behave well (age 6/7) through all parts of the wedding. Even then I would probably prefer to go without them. The only exception would be if it was very close family and the bridge and groom especially wanted them there.

"depends on the kind of wedding I suppose, but mainly it's a formal dinner which goes on for ages cos of the speeches, then a disco full of steaming drunk people."

I'm sure that's a fair point, but I didn't have a wedding like that. Mine was more like a Mexican affair (although only over a few hours rather than a few days!) with people milling and chatting most the time except for the brief ceremony and perhaps even briefer toasts.

I have lived in UK 19 years and never attended a highly formal or Get-Drunk-off-Your-Arse wedding. Kinda feel like I've missed out on something, not that I would enjoy those things anyway.

We're getting married next year and will be inviting children, as only a handful of our friends and family have kids.. but hopefully they won't all be brought along! I know a friend of mine who's son will be about 15 months at the time intends to leave him with Granny and enjoy herself rather than having to leave early!

Up to the B&G, I think.
Depends on costs, number limitations, how many DC it would involve - that kind of thing. One friend had a "no DC" rule at her wedding, apart from one bf'ing baby and her goddaughter, who as a bridesmaid. If she'd let all the people bring DC, there would have been about 40 of them - the venue was not appropriate for DC and she couldn't have fit them all in.

I had 2 bf'ing babies at mine, and my small nieces came for the photos and the evening dancing (but not the strictly limited wedding ceremony, nor meal). I would have let anyone bring their DC for the evening dancing, but tbh, most of my friends were glad to have the night off! One couple, who brought their bf baby to the ceremony and meal, then took her off to Grandma's for the evening, so they could come back and have a good time relaxing.

Not everyone wants their DC with them at weddings.

Up to the B&G as far as I can see.

We'r getting married next year - did I mention that yet...? And almost all our friends have children. It wouldn't be 'our' day without all those gorgeous children there and we're planning a bunch of games and a story telling/snoozing tent just for them in the evening with childcare so parents can stay and dance longer and the kids won't be crabby but will get their own adventure as well.

Littleding will be 5 then, he's convinced it's all three of us getting married and he wouldn't enjoy the day if all his friends (and girlfriend - are you listening Porto? weren't there.

Having said that we had a lovely time at a no children wedding last year and we really enjoyed the childfree evening as we don't get that many of them!