Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

To be worried that tomorrow the baby's legs will be crossed..

85 replies

Charleney · 06/12/2010 10:35

.. and i wont be able to find out the sex of the baby!
Also is it true that some hospital wont say anymore?

OP posts:

BaronessBomburst · 06/12/2010 11:56

Congratulations! And no, YANBU.

Some people want to know the sex beforehand, some don't. It's a matter of personal choice but if you do, then of course you're going to be excited. And I don't doubt for a second that you also want to hear that the baby is healthy. Some people can be right twats killjoys.

D0G · 06/12/2010 12:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

glovesoflove · 06/12/2010 12:06

YANBU

I desperately wanted to know the sex of my baby, it seemed rude to be in such close proximity to someone and not even know if they were male or female! It is a lovely moment when you know.

I hope your scan goes well and that baby is healthy. If the gender isn't clear or the hospital policy is not to tell, you might want to consider paying for a private sexing scan (about £100 I think?), so try not to worry.

Also agree with the poster who said it's a "safe" thing for you to train your anxiety on and that may be no bad thing, I was sick with worry before my scans so if I have more babies I might try and focus on something more lighthearted instead.

rastaClaus · 06/12/2010 12:23

YANBU.

Very personal choice, have found out my DCs gender at their scans (although they weren't 100% with DD2, they were correct).

I am a very anxious person by nature. I like to know whats going on, what's going to happen, routine etc. The "unknown" horrifies me It really helped my bond with my DC before they were born.

Others would hate to know and thrive off the surprise at birth which is also lovely (for them, my idea of hell)

All the best with the scan.

thefurryone · 06/12/2010 12:47

It's my 20 week scan tomorrow as well! I know the hospital won't tell us the sex so not too bothered about leg crossing. What I am worried about is the sonographer not getting to work because of all the snow we're meant to be getting later on today!!

Hope all goes well tomorrow.

glovesoflove · 06/12/2010 12:52

spring babies :) lovely!

Casserole · 06/12/2010 12:52

I have had hyperemesis with both my pregnancies and was hospitalised with it in my first.

We chose to have a private gender scan with both (our NHS Trust doesn't tell you) because, having been so ill, I really needed something to turn it from an 'it' to a baby - not just the thing that was making me ill. And for me, knowing the sex, being able to think about names, etc, really helped with that.

So it's not always a frivolous thing.

classydiva · 06/12/2010 12:53

A healthy baby is the best surely? Who cares what sex it is.

SuePurblybiltByElves · 06/12/2010 13:00

I found out (wanted to) and was convinced I was carrying a boy. I came out having a wee sniffle, blame the hormones, after finding out DD was a girl. A few weeks later I couldn't imagine ever wanting a boy. Well, I never really wanted, more that I had a "feeling" what the baby was.
Anyway, point of the pointless ramble was, don't be worried whatever it is, you'll forget you ever cared.

Firawla · 06/12/2010 13:31

no yanbu, i always want to know with mine too and would be disappointed if legs crossed or not able to tell. but i suppose you could go for a private scan after wards if that was the case although obviously depending on whether ur finance permit it or not. i do know quite a few people lately who wasn't able to find out in the scan due to position of baby etc

expatinscotland · 06/12/2010 13:37

Go private if you can't find out and don't listen to all those 'You don't need to know' folks. It's your business if you need to know or not.

The whole thing is already full of enough surprises.

TwinklePants · 06/12/2010 14:09

classydiva, I disagree, I couldn't care less about whether my baby is healthy or not, as long as I can find out whether it has a penis.

[tongue in cheek emoticon]

Has anyone here said that they prioritise knowing the gender of their child above its health?

TwinklePants · 06/12/2010 14:12

...and before anyone trots out the old line for those who are considering having a private gender scan about not having unneccessary 'extra' scans, I wouldn't worry. I will have had in the region of 25 scans by the time my baby is born, and I have been told by my consultant obs that there is no specific risk attached to ultrasounds.

MrsLevinson · 06/12/2010 14:13

YANBU. Finding out the sex of your baby is an exciting thing, whether you wait till the birth or find out at the scan. Of course finding out the baby is healthy is the most important thing but knowing if it's a boy or a girl is a big thing for some people. (me included- not that I had a preference)..

Wigeon · 06/12/2010 14:19

My local hospital (Watford General) has a policy of not telling anyone the sex (was the case in 2008 with DD and am currently pregnant and they have the same policy). The letter I was sent with my 20 week appointment made this clear. Did you get set a letter with your 20 week scan appointment and did it mention what the hospital's policy is?

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree · 06/12/2010 14:25

There is nothing wrong in wanting to know the gender of your baby.

But you are being unreasonable to worry about it.

The problem is, for perfectly valid reasons, threads like this never go down well on MN.

There are hundreds of regular posters on MN who have had horrendous difficulties either getting or staying pregnant, received bad news at 12, 20 or even later scans and all they wish for is a healthy baby.

Sometimes posts like this can be salt in a very painful wound.

TwinklePants · 06/12/2010 14:51

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree the OP has already said that she didn't phrase the title correctly - she has said that she is not worried about it, as much as excited to find out.

I suspect I am part of the group of Mnetters that has 'horredous difficulties getting or staying pregnant.'I had cervical cancer just last year which very nearly resulted in a hysterectomy (I had no children at the time, I have undergone IVF to fall pregnant in the first place and have had a few scares in this pregnancy so far (which is "high risk") - because of all this I myself am very excited to find out the sex of my baby in a few weeks and I certainly don't begrudge the OP her own excitement.

I don't think the post intended to pour salt in anyone's wounds - she is just (rightly IMO) looking forward to the scan and finding out what she's having.

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree · 06/12/2010 16:46

twinkle I should very much hope she didn't intend to upset anyone, but the fact is these threads always go this way.

If you post in AIBU you have to be prepared for people to say "yes you are". There is a whole pregnancy topic where the OP would get far more support for her particular concerns and a little more excitement from others who want to share her joy. I don't think it is unreasonable for me to point that out

Unrulysun · 06/12/2010 17:08

Hmmmmmmm. Aren't we a little bit in danger of being allowed to post about anything but pregnancy then? And isn't that a bit weird on Mumsnet?

A baby is a wonderful thing. I think there will be very few people who could find this offensive - it's lighthearted and excited and optimistic and there's room for those things surely?

nancydrewrockinaroundxmastree · 06/12/2010 17:19

You can post about whatever you like but if you post in AIBU you will be told by at least two people that yes you are indeed being unreasonable. Even if the Q is AIBU to think paedophiles are sick/the earth is round/chocolate orange is not a valid fruit choice.

I am simply explaining why these threads go badly and suggesting some more supportive areas of the board if the OP wants people to genuinely share her excitement without getting "flamed".

LittleMissHoHoHoFit · 06/12/2010 17:22

Had a scan at 20wks, and another at 33 weeks to check on placenta previa, he had his legs crossed on the later scan, but the nurse gave my belly a wobble and after a few moments he moved and we got a perfect look at him and his bits....

I already knew at 20 weeks, but it was nice to be sure...

Unrulysun · 06/12/2010 17:23

It is good of you to worry about these things for us Nancy :)

TheYuleLogLady · 06/12/2010 17:43

just remember it could be wrong. i've had 2 babies in the last week which were the opposite to what their parents were told at the scan.

Original poster

Charleney · 06/12/2010 18:56

Thankyou everyone for your replies.
I just want to say i did not want/mean to offend anyone in any way.
To be honest, i just wanted to share my excitement :D.
And apologies again for the use of the word "worried".
I may be the most impatient person i know which means i dont think i can take waiting until the baby is born to find out :) that is all.

OP posts:

Original poster

Charleney · 06/12/2010 18:58

Oh and i posted in AIBU as it tends to be the only forum i read.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread