to hate the facebook culture

[aristomache]

I cancelled my facebook account 4 months ago, as I was getting increasingly irked by the culture in which it has became socially accpetable for us all to know what's going on in each other's lives.

I had a few people on my facebook who were wingers/moaners/show-offs/public dirty-laundry airers, which I hated but who I couldn't delete as it would have caused bother.
Anybody who's important to me has made the effort to keep in touch via other means, and I dont miss it at all- it's also really cut down on my internet usage and cut £7.50 a month from my mobile phone bill, as I only ever used mobile internet to facebook.

Today I've been told that a family member of mine had uploaded photographs of me that I wouldn't have wanted the world and his wife to see - when I rang them to ask them to delete the pics, I was treated like the nastiest bitch on the face of the planet and hung up on!

Before anyone jumps any guns, I was as nice as I possibly could be about it, asked nicely and didn't demand that the pics be removed - just said that I'm not on facebook because I don't want everyone knowing everything I get up to and I'd rather that they didn't let everyone know what I was up to either, and please if they didn't mind could they delete any pics of me.

But the general concesus seems to be that I'm a tight bitch/am no fun/have no sense of humour for asking this, none of with is true btw - I just really hate the facebook culture.

I've started this kind of thread before on another forum and was roundly flamed for daring to diss the facebook.

so,AIBU? is it really just a fact of modern life that I have to get on board with or does the facebook culture actually suck?

I hate it too. I deleted it about 2 yrs ago and have missed it not at all. I found old school friends/acquaintances were still behaving like they were two decades ago - bitching about one another; ganging up on people; getting drunk and shagging around at reunions (no problem with that morally - just a bit less dignified in your 30s when you're married).

My SIL is about to get a divorce and move to live in Alabama with a 21yo serviceman she met on FB too. All very odd.

I agree with you, aristomache. I just don't seem to "get" facebook =and thought it was just for foul-mouthed silly teenagers and not for grown adults until a friend of mine confessed to a facebook addiction in which she snooped on the daily comings and goings of her grown-up son! I appreciate it's probably harmless fun, but why on earth would anyone want to air their dirty laundry or anyone else's in public? There's also a "look-at-me" element to it which I just don't understand, as if these people's lives are so exciting they just have to be shared with the rest of the world!

YABU with regard to FB photos, it is not FB to blame, it is your family member. My friends, family and I all use FB in a sensible way. None of us have ever had cause to fall out with family members over it and if we have 'friends' whose comments we don't like or whose messages/statuses we want appearing on our page, we delete them.

Sounds like it is the person is using it wrong.

I am 48 and I don't really get what facebook is actually for .

So I just wanted to say that it is definitely possible to have a fulfilling and exciting life, with many good friends and lots of fun and debauchery, without recounting it all on facebook.

I do have an account. I just don't know what to do with it!

I can't imagine facebook addiction, whereas I can imagine mumsnet addiction.

No matter what privacy setting you have, you can't stop people posting photos of you - that is an invasion of privacy. One of my first encounters with Facebook was less than flattering photos of me for everybody to see.

What I find odd is the people who have hundreds of 'friends', so many that they can't actually keep up to with their real friends posts - which defeats the object.

going outside of your home and people seeing you in public is that an invasion of your privacy - you so know that people will see you and may see you in a not so flattering light

there are 14 cameras in the high street filming you as you move about, even more cameras in the shopping center and the supermarket - is that also an invasion of your privasy?

no it is n't if you want privasy stay indoors, as soon as you go outside you are no longer in private and you are in public and can be seen - by all sorts of peopel that you don't chocie to see you but they do.

privacy means not being seen in public or at parties or anywhere where that people could take photogrpahs and then publish them

I think it depends on how you use it. I recently cut down my friends from around 250 to 70 as I had had enough of stupid updates adn farmville rubbish. Now my friends are all old school friends, family and some other selected people. I only post fairly harmless stuff and have my privacy settings so nobody can see any of my information.

Facebook has got me back in touch with almost everyone from my class at school and two of my cousins so I like it :)